Dentonic!

Apparently our adventurous spirit reigns supreme in post-Apocalyptic Texas, as we’ve decided to go ahead and mosey (you’re required by law to mosey instead of walk in Texas, despite the heretic “Walker”, Texas Ranger) into Denton to see what’s behind the plume of exhaust we spied.

Zoicks! I guess it’s no good having binoculars if you don’t believe your lying eyes. We have a massive driving skill of … three. Combined with another three from the Random Roll, that leads us to:

First of all, I wish to take exception to the idea that a machine pistol does not count as a pistol. It’s right there in the name, people! Mr. Dever hails from England, however, if my spotty recollection of something I almost read on the Internet is a reliable guide — and how could it not be?! — where guns aren’t as much in evidence as in modern America, much less an America after the Apocalypse. So we can forgive him this once.

Oh dear. Our worst-case scenario has come to fruition, a close encounter with a melee weapon. Nonetheless, sporting our massive Close Combat Skill of twelve (which, need I remind you, is the lowest you can get) and our even more manly Endurance of twenty (also the lowest you can get), we engage the young ruffian in our tete-a-tete. Even though he has 50% more combat skill than we do and more health as well. Plus we’re driving. And I think we just wet ourselves.

My random rolls were 7, 5, 9, 5, 5, and 9. Nines are the best because with a -6 combat skill deferential the enemy takes 8 damage to our 0. However, only one of those nines came into play, because we took five rounds to get him dead and us down to 5 END. Accordingly, we turn to the section for what happens if you’re too slow sending Mad Max on to his untimely demise:

We lived! I was sure taking too long would result in a fiery cataclysm and long faces at our funeral. Which would belong to the coyotes gnawing our bones, because no way the convoy comes down here to find out what happened to their little buddy.

Unfortunately we still have to deal with our fairly pathetic driving skill. Closing my eyes and spinning the Random Number chart, I get … a three. That’s probably not going to be good.

Nope. Not good at all.

And so it ends, kids, with our hot-rod wrapped around our hot-bod, lost and forgotten in the wastes of Texas. Kind of like Rick Perry’s Presidential campaign! Ha, that was just a topical reference in the finest Late Night tradition, please don’t read anything into it. Should I start my apology letter now? I should warn you, I plan on pleading heartbreak in the face of our crushing defeat, and there will be lots of spineless weeping.

So the question becomes, “Now what?” Which is where you come in again:

Make your case in the comments!

21 Responses to Dentonic!

  1. We should just accept our loss in good grace, but I’m still curious where we would have gone if we had avoided Denton, so that’s what I’m voting for.

  2. I voted to end the adventure here and pick a new one. I would like to know what would have happened if we went around Denton, but I just feel that going back “for real” is cheating. Maybe if the “do another book” vote wins, we can just do this one over again, with different (hopefully better) skills?

  3. I’m voting to pretend we made the driving roll, but I have a feeling this will be one of our most divided votes.

  4. Since I voted to avoid Denton in the first place, I say we forget it ever happened.

  5. I’ll vote for pretending we avoided Denton, but I’d still like some ice cream.

  6. My original vote was to avoid this god-forsaken ex-city, so I’m sticking to my guns.

  7. Hunter-Hunted

    We died?? Three weeks in and we died?? We survived a close encounter with a Red Indian (not sure if I find that gangname redundent or slightly racist – or both) only to miss a driving test and crash and burn? I feel cheated that our hero with his meager hand-to-hand capabilities beat a much superior combatant but he couldn’t drive for the life of him – literal!

    But regarding the poll… I vote to move on to a new story as anything else would be cheating – except the getting ice cream of course which sounds good

  8. Wow, I missed a lot. I need to start coming every day again!

  9. Ramming an ambulance. Rather convenient, actually. I say we sit down with Bess and discuss our failed excursion into carmageddon over a hot fudge sundae!

  10. Move on to some other Choose Your Own Adventure.

  11. holymasterchief

    hey jeff when are you gonna update hero machine with more stuff? did like no one submit anything to be added or what?

  12. Lots of stuff going on behind the scenes here, holymasterchief, that I can’t really discuss at the moment. But suffice to say items have, for quite a while, been frozen as I try to update all the female items and eventually do the Left version of all the Right items. That should get seriously cranking here in the next few days.

  13. As for my small contributions, I’ve been building up a pile of items that I need to get ready for submission. Of course these take a back seat to anything that Captain Hebert is doing behind the scenes.

    here is my list so far that doesn’t include a few pieces that I’m still working on/refining

    Submitted to Jeff, waiting for insertion:
    Boots (Mace Windu’s)
    Head_Big Forehead

    Complete, Need to be formatted for HM3:
    Armor_Heavy Tech (Torso and upper arms)
    Armor_Stealth (Torso)
    Fin_Shark
    Hair_DreadlockTentacles
    Hair_ThickTentacle
    Hair_ThinSpikes
    Hand (in parts for holding things)
    Hand (on the hip)
    Helmet_Bullet-shaped Dome
    Helmet_Juggernaut
    Helmet_OldFlash (still need to do wings on side)
    Helmet_Predator
    Helmet_Rocketeer
    Helmet_Spherical Dome
    Hoodie (hood up and hood down)
    Horn_Rhino
    Legs (these are Jeff’s pieces that I broke apart)
    Legs_Spider (similar to Doc Ock’s tentacles)
    Tendrils
    Visor_Archon (Mass Effect)
    Wings_Mechanical
    Wings_Feathery
    Wings_Faery
    Wings_Dragon/Demonic

  14. Speaking of behind the scenes; Jeff, have you heard anything more from Mark regarding the heavy weapons suggestions we submitted a while back?

  15. Having played D&D for 20 years, I can safely say time to stretch our legs, grab a bite of ice cream, and roll up new characters. Either this means starting back at page 1 and picking the pistol and more points in driving or picking up a new book and starting a new campaign.

  16. ::Puts on redneck mask::: “centre” of town? Why, out there in Denton, Texas and the rest of ‘Merica, we spell it “center,” like a good ol’ ‘Merican!

  17. Well, live and learn. Back in the day I’d have rolled up a new character (one who can drive, what with this adventure having a bit of that in it) and played through to the last big decision point (when we decided to go through Denton).

    My vote, though, goes to Ice Cream.

  18. @Brad (8): If you do that, you’ll miss even more.

  19. “Red” Indians?

  20. We could go back and pretend that the machine pistol is some sort of pistol and make a roll on that basis.