Caption Contest 107: A pointed note

Your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

I imagine the missing narration would be whatever the note was supposed to say, but you could go in a different direction entirely if you like.

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!

72 Responses to Caption Contest 107: A pointed note

  1. Hey…I thought the results were due today as well…or have you changed your policy completely, Jeff?
    Or is it just that the guest judge is having a tough time deciding?

  2. Warning: may contain sharp objects

  3. Kaylin, results will be coming today at some point, yes. Guest Judge John is having some connection issues.

    However, even then I don’t always post the results till afternoon, it just depends. Please be patient. It’s fairly frustrating for the very first comment to a new post to be off topic.

  4. 1 – Objects may appear closer than they are!

  5. 2 – Note reads – Do you suffer from migraines? Try new extra strength Advil!

  6. 1: Trapped in knife factory, send help!

  7. 1. Look out, there’s a knife heading towards you!

  8. 1. “What am I supposed to write here? Won’t he be dead when it hits him?”

    2. “Dear Iron Skull, your power is stupid.”

  9. 3. “Dan’s Dagger Emporium, home of the patented Note Knife!”

  10. 1) “Duck!”
    2) “Warning: Use on cranial area may lead to splitting headaches.”
    3) “Warning: Ceramic blades still hurt.”
    4) “Should have removed your hat at the door.”

  11. 1) And so, as he reads the note, the Iron Skull finally sees the benefits of the literacy classes he took last month.

  12. 2) And as he turns to where the dagger came from, the Iron Skull sees his dreaded enemy, Note-Man!

  13. Sean From Edwards

    Limited Warranty

  14. Iron Skull couldn’t see the point of dagger mail… then it hit him

  15. Have you been injured by an accident that wasn’t your fault?

  16. After the owl strike, Hogwarst were still yet to find a solution

  17. … could we please pretend that I spelt Hogwarts right?

  18. 1. Warning! Do NOT try this at home!
    2. Danger! Flying Projectile Hazard!
    3. Behind you!
    4. Help! I’m being held hostage by a dagger-wielding madman! Call the Coast Guard!
    5. Hey Dave, remember that time you said that I couldn’t throw a knife worth beans? SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!

  19. don’t look now, but you’re being followed by a hat

  20. 1. “If your reading this, your missing the point. ;)”
    2. “Gotcha!”
    3. “Supercut’s all new express service”
    4. And that’s when I realized the apology note was not as accepted as I had hoped.
    5. “I said skim milk! Ass!”

  21. Hogwarst? Is that as tasty as Bratwurst? Axesome!

  22. Dear Iron Skull,
    It has come to our attention that you have a weakness, and that said weakness is being attacked in any location at or below your neck. Now that we have obtained this information, we have an ultimatum: Stop being a hero, or we will use this new knowledge to kill you.
    Sincerely,
    All your enemies

  23. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die

  24. If undelivered, please throw at the head of:
    Postmaster Dave
    231 CherrywoodLane

  25. SpellCheckingQuill

    HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead!

  26. 3) What the… There’s a forehead in my way!

  27. 1) Dear sir: Stop stealing my knives you jerk.

    2) Hey, could you give this knife to Daredevil for me?
    -Love, Bullseye

  28. 1) “Do you like me? Choose one: Yes No Maybe”

  29. You just got served

  30. Scrap that last comment. It should read

    1)Iron Skull, You’ve just been served.

    Diction is everything.

    2)Iron Skull used headbutt on wild Knife. The wild Knife used shatter. It was ineffective.

  31. 1) With all his attention focused on the male enhancement flyer stuck beneath his windshield wiper, the Iron Skull fails to notice the knife as it strikes his forehead.
    2) Using his uncanny reflexes, the Iron Skull manages to intercept the knife that would have otherwise missed him by several feet!
    3) Oblivious to its impending fate, the knife mused on the nature of its own existence as it plunged relentlessly toward the Iron Skull’s impenetrable forehead. For reasons still unknown, the note was heard to simply mutter “Not again.”

  32. 4) I accept your challenge. Let’s duel, head to head!

  33. 4) His messages normally delivered by bullets, the Iron Skull is startled at the sight of the note affixed to the knife.
    5) The knife is survived by his wife Mrs. Spatula, their two children, and a carrot-peeler from a previous marriage. His suicide note simply read “I tried to stick it out but couldn’t cut the mustard.”

  34. 1.) If you can dodge a dagger, you can dodge a ball!
    2.) Welcome to the house of flying daggers!
    3.) Look behind you! You are being followed by a red ghost wearing a fedora!

  35. sorry, I’m gonna change my previous entry to “If you can dodge a knife, you can dodge a ball!”

  36. 5) “What doesn’t kill you, screws up your face.”

  37. Cheap Knife brought to you by Cheapo Wacko Products

    Milk, Eggs, Ham, More notes to put on Knives

    This is a Knife

    The Knife looks better on your head than that hat.

    Dear Billy,
    How are you? I’m great here, though it does get rather quiet. Please write back.
    -MOM

  38. That’s when the director fired the props guy…

  39. “Since their target was rather dense, the mafia wanted to make sure he got the point.”

  40. William A. Peterson

    Sorry, I read Sutter Kaine’s entry #5, and decided I had no chance…
    Good job, Sir! 😉

  41. 3) This is just our way of saying Knife to meet you

  42. EDITOR’S NOTE: Before the invention of Sticky Notes, mobsters used Stabby Notes.

  43. @TheNate(42): Oh, I wish I had “Stabby Notes” at work. My only defenses against idiot co-workers are the “Thousand-Yard Stare” and “Delayed E-mail Reply”. Both are totally useless against morons who don’t understand the concepts of “Personal Space” and “Priorities.”

  44. I just threw a knife at your head. HOPE THAT HURT SUCKA!!!

  45. Dear Mr. The Iron Skull,

    We here at Sirvision, Inc. have noticed and admired your dedication to applying things directly to the forehead, and would like to offer you an exciting and lucrative career as our new Head-On spokesman! If you are interested, simply break the knife, and our representative will, eagerly but cautiously, break cover to discuss the matter in person.

    Sincerely,
    Mrs. Tote Allie Fayk, VP of Spin.

    (I know, way too long to fit the box. Unless you write really small, like the fine print on ads, which would not be inappropriate.)

  46. “Have you ever noticed that your human shield doesn’t seem to get the job done? Well at Hugh’s Human Shields, we take pride in our job and work tirelessly to create the human shield that’s right for you. Call now or stop in at the office to get your quality human shield today.”

  47. …FML

  48. ‘you have been poked’

    regards,

    the facebook team.

  49. Apologies for outselling your Gun Emporium, but everyone knows that you don’t bring a gun to a knife fight.

  50. Warning: Knives may shatter unexpectedly. If this event occurs, we suggest running as fast as possible from the person you threw this knife at. If you are the target, go get them because none of our knives work.

    With regards,
    The Acme Faulty Knives Company.

  51. 2) Congratulations! You have a minor mutant ability! You are welcome to join Xaiver’s School for Gifted Youngsters. If you decline, please DO NOT join the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. In case you can’t tell, they’re EVIL!!!

    3) Iron Skull, the rent is due. You owe me $200 for your room and $1000 for your “secret” base.
    Sincerely,
    Your landlord

    4) Before the Iron Skull began to read the note, he wondered who found out his secret identity. “JIMMY!! YOU GET YOUR BEHIND HOME RIGHT THIS INSTANT! THIS CRIME FIGHTING HAS TO STOP NOW! Oh, and I have cookies in the oven for you.

    5) If you want to find out what the note says, buy next months instalment of “THE IRON SKULL vs THE LEAUGE OF DOOM AND DESPAIR AND GLOOM AND ALOT OF OTHER EVIL THINGS”

  52. Fortunately, the Dungeon Master rolled a one, on the table where everyone could see it.

  53. Watson Bradshaw

    1) In case of Emergency shatter glass knife!

    2) you are cordially invited to a production of Sweeney Todd at the Glendale community theater. throw Knife to R.S.V.P.

    3) You too can have all the riches you desire just repeat this message and throw 5 knives at other friends.

  54. 1. Dear Friend, I am Prince Abdullah Saud. I have recently acquired money in the amount of $100,000,000.00 USD due to the death of my father. Because of a stipulation in his will, I need your help…

  55. Iron Skull gently removed the five pound note, and used it to by a new knife before his audition for England’s Got Talent.”

  56. alphaalpharomeo

    1) And Dobby the elf turns into a human, allowing Bellatrix to kill him.

    2)You could say that her break up letter was a bit extreme.

    3)His skull of steel allowed him to later read the note on the knife.

    4)He was so busy looking at the note he forgot to move.

    5)He was trying to come up with a more effect mode of delivering letters when it hit him

  57. Dear Mr. Iron Skull,
    You have been made obsolete. There is an Ironman now. you can pick up your last paycheck at city hall.

    signed,
    The Mayor

  58. Dear face, Meet dagger

  59. I was well accustomed to weapons bouncing off my head, but a note? That would have raised my eyebrows, if I had any.

  60. 1. “If found, please return to The Enchanted Dagger. P.S. It’s the only one I have. If I lose it, I may be forced to throw steam irons.”

    A little obscure, but some of the older HeroMachinists might get the reference.

  61. Iron Skull is suprised to learn that noone was trying to kill him this time, but only trying to send him a message.

  62. If you have the Kai discipline to mend knives, turn to page 34
    If not, take 3 ENDURANCE and turn to page 73

  63. ‘BOOM HEADSHOT!’
    Your flatmate

  64. PROPERTY OF BOYSCOUT TROUPE 5

    Don’t look now, but somebody is about to throw a bungalow at your head.

    –David

  65. The mob delivers a sharply written reply

  66. 1) “Do you like me? Check yes or no.”

  67. And that note was C sharp.

  68. 1) “If you can read this, you’ve got a hole in your head.”
    2) His boss can’t resist some fun at Iron Skull’s expense.
    3) “The honeymoon’s over, I want a divorce!”
    4) “We have hostages and demand (continued on next knife)”
    5) “Next time it’s the machete!”

  69. RE: Myro, #60:
    Glad to see I’m not the only one who peruses the Digital Comics Museum. Or are you actually in your 70’s?

  70. Skybandit (69): Not so much with either. The Enchanted Dagger made a couple appearances on the HeroMachine blog almost a year back. I just have a memory for weird things like that.

  71. “Don’t turn around, but there’s a man in a trench coat and large hat behind you and he has free candy in his van.”

  72. 2): “Lucky for Iron Skull, there were a few indisputable truths in the universe: Paper covers Rock, Rock smashes Scissors, and Skull shatters Dagger.”