Poll Position: Summer Movies 2011

We've been fortunate enough to have the Summer of Supers this year, which prompted me to consider the following question:

{democracy:189}

  • Professor X ("X-Men: First Class"): Mind control and extremely powerful telepathy, plus the power of an amazingly cool British accent. OK, so you wouldn't get that or his vast fortune and enormous mansion, but on the plus side you don't have to be bound to a wheelchair either.
  • Magneto ("X-Men: First Class"): You could certainly argue that Magneto's powers would make you one of the most powerful people on the planet, as it does for Erik in the Marvel Universe. But I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that part of what makes those powers so effective is the man using them. He's creative, ruthless, extremely quick to make decisions, and visionary. Plus, in the real world, how much good does it do you to be able to fling tanks around? I suppose you could rent yourself out as a mercenary, or even set yourself up as a major super-villain, but ... what fun is that? I mean, you get shot at all day.
  • Sebastian Shaw ("X-Men: First Class"): You can absorb energy, basically making yourself bulletproof (at least, in the absence of a telepathic lockdown). As a special bonus, you're also immortally young and healthy. That's pretty awesome.
  • Thor ("Thor"): On the other hand, Thor is also immortal. You get to control the weather (that would be worth a fortune in the real world), you're super strong, you can fly, and for fun you can fling your hammer to knock down mountains. Sadly, as with Xavier's spiffy British accent, you don't get the long golden hair or unbelievable pecs.
  • Captain America ("The First Avenger: Captain America"): Extreme strength, agility, and combat prowess to make you the world's greatest soldier. However, see "shot, getting at" from the Magneto entry, only this time without a bulletproof magnetic shell. Pass.
  • Hawkeye ("Thor"): Granted, you didn't get to see Hawkeye actually do anything, so this is a hard sell. But I'm going to assume this is the same version of Hawkeye we were treated to in the Millar/Hitch "Ultimates", the guy who killed a whole house full of murderous soldiers by ripping his fingernails off and flinging them. I don't care who you are, that's freaking awesome.
  • Green Lantern ("Green Lantern"): On the plus side, you can use one of the most powerful weapons in the galaxy to do almost anything you can imagine. Except make yourself young or to grant yourself acting ability. Or underwear, once the ring runs out of juice, which it will 24 hours after arriving in our own real (as in, "There is no OA") universe.

To me, the strongest competitors are Shaw, Xavier, and Thor. Because eternal youth and health would be unbelievably awesome all on its own, I'm going to have to eliminate Xavier. Sorry, Chuck.

The problem with Thor is, everyone expects you to run around beating the snot out of everyone, and that's just not my bag. I could totally see myself living my normal life as Shaw, supplemented by the kind of a living you can make when you've got three hundred years to play the stock market. Plus you could wander down to the nearest wildfire raging out of control, suck down all its energy, and be good to go for however long you want.

What about you, what would you choose?

24 Responses to Poll Position: Summer Movies 2011

  1. Watson Bradshaw

    Stick me in a pod and zap, come out as yoked as Chris Evans, sounds good to me.

  2. Thor.
    I could go in for beating the snot out of jackasses.

  3. Thor, hands down. Who wouldn’t want to be the God Of Thunder?

  4. I’m going with Magneto. “They call me the Master of Magnetism. That moniker describes but a fraction of my capabilities”

  5. Nick Hentschel

    I’d STILL rather be telekinetic; it’s the most practical gift. But if I’m confined to this list, I’ll take Hawkeye: I’m a burgeoning outdoorsy/bushcraft/hunting/archery type, and I’d be able to put his skills to use right away.

  6. I’d have to say Magneto. Because it could also be practical in the real world. You could make your house/car keys come to you. Also, if First Class’s Magneto has the same power set as the comic Magneto, you can also fly. Besides, ‘The Master of Magnetism’ is just a cool title.

  7. Me, Myself & I

    Its a real toss up for me between Professor X and Thor. Being able to read minds and influence others would have tremendous use in the real world. Likewise, being immortal could help, well pretty much, indefinately.

  8. Oh gee, that’s a tough one.

    Oh wait, no it isn’t. God-power wins out every time.

  9. I’m taking Xavier’s power set. Call me whatever you want, but psychic cheating will get me very rich in the business world. And I’m not convinced immortality is all that.

  10. I’d take Shaw’s powers, as long as I don’t have to look like Kevin Bacon.

    Was anyone besides me surprised at how damn good X-Men: First Class was?

  11. i’d take Cole mcgrath’s powers off of Infamous but as for movies i’d probably take Hawkeye’s

  12. @Imp, I totally was. After X3 and Wolverine, I pretty much figured the X-Franchise was dead. As a hugh X-Men fan, I was really done with the movies. And as many weird changes as they made, I still loved it. I only wish they had done it as a reboot instead of a prequil, just so they could have started over completly from scratch.

  13. Xavier – No. His telepathic powers would be too much of a temptation, I don’t trust me with these. And, IMO, changing the way someone thinks or feels is akin to mental rape.

    I think you’re unfair to GL. They have portable batteries, after all.

    If shaw was totally immortal, it’d have put me back, since, when you’re tired of life, you’d be stuck with it. But, since asphyxion and drugs work, I’d go with it, and make a living at fukushima.

  14. Imp (10): I’m in the same boat as Dan (12) on this. The last two X-Men movies had been such disappointments, and a climate of hostile internet buzz from the geeks had left me with pretty much low expectations on First Class. So it was a pleasant surprise.to find this was quite an awesome movie to watch by any measure.

  15. Only thing I didn’t like about First Class was the weird plot holes it created. It’s definitely a prequel (was confirmed on by makers, features Romain (sp?) and Jackman from other movies in bit parts), but shows a second Emma Frost (though she could just be the mother of the one from Wolverine); shows Magneto and Xavier parting ways in their early 20’s, even though they’re still working together in their 30’s/40’s when they recruit Jean Grey; and Xavier loses his ability to walk when it was shown that he could walk fine at least 20 years later when he rescues everyone at the end of Wolverine. Aside from those (and the really weird choice of Kevin Bacon for the main villain), it was a great movie, much better than X3…

  16. @ gero, I could be wrong, because I was only able to sit through Wolverine once, but I thought Xavier was in the chair for his scene at the end. I might be mistaken, because I was laughing at the horrible CGI attempt to make Patrick Stewart look younger.

  17. Considering Green Lantern can make anything it’s not really a contest. I’ll take the magic ring that lets me make anything I can imagine over any of these powers.

    Telepathy? I can ring up an anti-telepathy helmet or a helmet that grants me telepathy.

    Magnetism? GL rings can generate magnetism on their own, and I can just ring up something to pick up whatever I need anyway so no need for magnetic powers to move metal around.

    Absorbing energy? Ring shield. Done.

    Godly power? I can ring up a copy of Thor to fight for me and give him as much power as I can imagine.

    Enhanced strength, agility, stamina, etc.? Anything those abilities would be useful for could be just as easily accomplished with a ring construct of some kind.

    Arrow shooting? Shyeah, right.

  18. I”m going with Thor here. No contest. Immortality AND Godpower.

    I’m just wondering who are the silent people voting for the 24 hour rush with no aftereffects (green lantern). I mean, unless you go on a huge crime spree to rob every bank you can find, I just don’t see the advantage.

  19. Worf (18)

    Green Lantern rings come with a personal power battery. Assuming they couldn’t be recharged is a pretty obvious gimping. I chose to deliberately disregard that part and apparently so did a lot of other people.

  20. I chose Captain America, because while I suspect immortality might be really over-rated (I’m going to be crushed when my old cat dies; I can’t even imagine the horror of outliving everything that I love), health and fitness–especially health and fitness that you don’t have to, you know, work for–would be nice to have. As for getting shot at…well, I don’t have to tell anybody I’m the world’s greatest soldier, do I?

  21. “Considering Green Lantern can make anything it’s not really a contest. I’ll take the magic ring that lets me make anything I can imagine over any of these powers.”

    Assuming you have the willpower, intellect and other qualities needed to utilise the ring properly.

    So, given that Thor’s powers require none of that to work his are the better choice.

  22. Green lantern’s ring isn’t as limited as some here seem to think. Kyle Raynor’s ring and battery worked fine after Hal destroyed Oa. And the ring can provide a lot of technical detail the wielder can’t. In the movie, Hal creates a Hot Wheels track that could take a lot of angular momentum and the weight of a helicopter. You think he’s an engineer? Or Or an astrophysicist to grasp the concepts behind the wormhole that took him to Oa? If I can imagine it, I can make it. And I have read a lot of comic books.

  23. Sean Murphy

    The Power Batteries have been shown to be able to work even when separated by entire dimensions from Oa and the Guardians. And Kyle was given a fragment of the original Central Power Battery by the lone surviving Guardian – it generated plenty of power for one Ringbearer. If that hadn’t been one of the choices I would have had a tough choice between Magneto and Thor – Magneto’s power magnifies his intellect, by amping up his neuroelectric impulses – but with GL on the list, well, anything that can turn my imagination into the ultimate tool can’t be resisted.

  24. I would have to admit the 24 hours of the green lantern ring would be like one of those “Just one day” things: If you had one day to live what would you do? In this case you have just 1 day to change the world, I’d honestly rob a lot of banks and such in a better disguise than a domino mask and then just vanish a day later with no trace or ability to repeat the events. Taking the money I would then try to do my best to enrich the lives of those around me. A $100 in every mail slot of my apartment complex could be the one thing to change peoples lives in ways I will never know.