Caption Contest 97

Sorry for the delay on this one folks!

With hearty thanks once again to Glenn3's "Say What? Pictures", your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny! That might be a challenge given the nature of this week's panel, but I'm sure you can pull it off.

This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!

52 Responses to Caption Contest 97

  1. Avatar Rendu says:

    “I’m sorry, darling- there’s no wite-out left for YOUR speech balloon.”

  2. Avatar Patrick says:

    I just don’t find Steve Carell funny.

  3. Avatar The Eric says:

    You tell us to keep them clean, but you don’t make it easy.

  4. Avatar StarMan2000 says:

    1. This giant white circle follows me everywhere!
    2. I’ve got a stash everywhere, darling
    3. Let’s dance all over town.

  5. Avatar Jeff Hebert says:

    I’m evil that way, Eric. But just look at those first two entries, those are money. MONEY, I tell you!

  6. Avatar Joel says:

    “They have writers”

  7. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    I hate redundant questions. Even in the office.

  8. Avatar Mr.MikeK says:

    Curse You, Patrick! How dare you get to the joke first!

  9. Avatar Sutter_Kaine says:

    1) Personally, the “dinner plate wedged in the skull” look isn’t for me, but on you it looks great.
    2) Please stop saying “Even in the office?”.
    3) You can poke me with that delightfully disturbing Reece Witherspoon chin of yours anytime.
    4) Trust me, no one’s going to care that you’re the moon’s conjoined twin.
    5) Leotard, check. Tights, check. You’re almost ready to start your cat-burglar career. All you need is this tiny little mask like Robin wears so no one will recognize you.

  10. Avatar Kountkill says:

    I want to stare into your nostrils for the rest of my life.

  11. Avatar Worf says:

    1) I’m sorry baby, but I just can’t see you anymore.

  12. Avatar Worf says:

    2) WOW, that security ball will follow you literally ANYWHERE!!

  13. Avatar Kountkill says:

    2) I confess! I have an addiction to snorting white-out.

  14. Avatar Worf says:

    3) Really. I promise to always greet you with “How you doin’?”

  15. Avatar Kountkill says:

    3) …and that’s why the court order bars me from using Vaseline ever again.

  16. Avatar Kountkill says:

    4) My soul is a plaything of the elder gods.

  17. Avatar Worf says:

    4) In order for my cover to work, I need you to do that high-pitched scary voice every time you see me.

  18. Avatar Kountkill says:

    5) While I’m Pesident, you can come by the White House and “smoke a cigar” anytime you want.

  19. Avatar Jake says:

    1) I like to wear ladies panties.

    2) Wanna play the question game?

    3) Why does the moon keep talking to us?

    4) My wife can never know about what we did.

  20. Avatar Joe says:

    “Where ever I go. women throw themselves at me.”

  21. Avatar Jake says:

    5) It’s okay. We don’t have to do this. Any other time or place you want.

  22. Avatar Tim says:

    1) “Want to see a trick I learned in prison? It can be done anywhere.”

  23. Avatar Tim says:

    2) “I think Ricky Gervais is hilarious.”

    [Sorry, Patrick #2. I saw an opening and I went for it :)]

  24. Avatar Myro says:

    1. “In order to complete the illusion, I need to talk like Tony Curtis anywhere I go.”

  25. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    I only need you to pretend to be a woman for a couple more days.

  26. Avatar Whit says:

    1)

    o/` o/` I can feel your halo halo halo… o/` o/`

  27. Avatar Whit says:

    2)

    Darling, do me a favour: wear that enormous bonnet *everywhere*.

  28. Avatar Gargoyle323 says:

    1)”I check out Hero Machine whenever I can!”

  29. Avatar Whit says:

    3) [playing off the poorly placed speech balloon. Yes, if I have to explain it, it mustn’t be that good…]

    Moon, I hate to tell ya, but I’ve been having sex with this girl you see here. A LOT.

  30. Avatar Dominic Marconi says:

    “I have to tell you. I’m an anarchist and have the urge to post renegade posters everywhere I go.”

  31. Avatar ThePerfectTense says:

    1. Let’s always speak in Klingon!

  32. Avatar Whit says:

    4)

    Honey, I hate to tell you this, but people are *talking* about your alien cranial implant.

  33. Avatar frankie says:

    “I think of you every time I pleasure myself.”

  34. Avatar Hairwhip says:

    I dont know why, but everytime you say “Even in the office?” I want to kiss you even more.

  35. Avatar ajw says:

    Don’t worry it ain’t harrasment.

    Bout time for a quickie.

    Can you put it on? i’m a little tired.

  36. Avatar thor1066 says:

    Can I wear that lacy pink dress and matching pumps you keep in the back of your closet tomorrow?

  37. Avatar punkjay says:

    My darling, I think those Taco Bell bean barritos gave you horrible smelling gas!!!

  38. “I do not like green eggs and ham, Sam-I-Am.”

    @Patrick(2): I forfeit. Not only is that line the best, but I happen to agree! (Now excuse me while I don my flame-proof armor.)

  39. Avatar frankie says:

    “I think we need to end our inter-office relationship.”

  40. Avatar Tim says:

    3) “Sometimes I like to feel pretty.”

  41. Avatar Tim says:

    4) “Tomorrow, I’ll go through the end day without pants. Just for you, doll!”

  42. Avatar Tim says:

    4) “Tomorrow, I’ll go through the entire day without pants. Just for you, doll!”

    (Fixed :))

  43. Avatar McKnight57 says:

    1) As soon as this day ends, I will go through the rest of the year streaking.

    2) For some reason I have the urge to photo-copy my cheeks every day.

    3) Whenever I make a mistake, my policy is “Blame it on the alcohol.”

    4) As of tomorrow, I will go through the rest of the year wearing a neon pink fright wig.

    5) I want my own theme song that will play whenever I’m about to do something epic.

  44. Avatar Joel says:

    “Yep, 1000 times in 1000 different places”

    “before the day is done, one of us will make a non sequitur”

  45. Avatar Rapthama says:

    1) Next time let’s not eat chicken nuggets anymore.
    2) Never wear that black sweater when I’m near. Never…
    3) That moon is evil! He’s watching me like a stalker…
    4) I always try to come up with methods, how to throw you out from the window.
    5) I have a personal slave.

  46. Avatar frankie says:

    “Before we kiss, I need you to say those four magic words that drive me crazy.”

  47. Avatar Myro says:

    I really should reword my caption from 24. It should read:

    1. “In order to complete the illusion, I need to talk like Tony Curtis everywhere I go.”

    also:

    2. “Honey, we need to install a toilet in every single room of our dream home.”

    I really don’t think I’ll be adding any more captions this week.

  48. Avatar Mr.MikeK says:

    1. It’s only kinky the first time.
    2. You can wipe your bloody finger on my suit anytime.

  49. Avatar Myro says:

    Okay, I lied. I’ve got one more, based mostly on the fact I ran across this joke 3 times this morning. And a tip of the hat to Patrick (2).

    “You know what I’m tired of? ‘That’s what she said’ jokes.”

  50. Avatar nakiato says:

    1)every time I kiss a women a sceneic beach appears behind me.
    2)hold on as a second my love, the moon is asking me a question.
    3)Feel free to fake it anytime.
    4)I love when you wear your dress made out of a screen door.
    5)I wear this suit every where I go.

  51. Avatar B.Clouser says:

    1. Sometimes I like to slap on a blonde wig. Prance around. Pretend I’m you.

    2. I dream of a life where I don’t have to wear pants.

    3. I’ll call mine “the monument”. You call yours “the office”.

    4. Remember no eye contact.

    5. I’d like to promote you to ‘sex manager’, heh heh.

  52. Avatar kidpool says:

    Those Giant Half Sheep Half Bear Things are everywhere