Caption Contest 97

Sorry for the delay on this one folks!

With hearty thanks once again to Glenn3's "Say What? Pictures", your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author's choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny! That might be a challenge given the nature of this week's panel, but I'm sure you can pull it off.

This week we have a cap of no more than five (5) entries per person, so make 'em your best!

52 Responses to Caption Contest 97

  1. “I’m sorry, darling- there’s no wite-out left for YOUR speech balloon.”

  2. I just don’t find Steve Carell funny.

  3. You tell us to keep them clean, but you don’t make it easy.

  4. 1. This giant white circle follows me everywhere!
    2. I’ve got a stash everywhere, darling
    3. Let’s dance all over town.

  5. I’m evil that way, Eric. But just look at those first two entries, those are money. MONEY, I tell you!

  6. “They have writers”

  7. I hate redundant questions. Even in the office.

  8. Curse You, Patrick! How dare you get to the joke first!

  9. Sutter_Kaine

    1) Personally, the “dinner plate wedged in the skull” look isn’t for me, but on you it looks great.
    2) Please stop saying “Even in the office?”.
    3) You can poke me with that delightfully disturbing Reece Witherspoon chin of yours anytime.
    4) Trust me, no one’s going to care that you’re the moon’s conjoined twin.
    5) Leotard, check. Tights, check. You’re almost ready to start your cat-burglar career. All you need is this tiny little mask like Robin wears so no one will recognize you.

  10. I want to stare into your nostrils for the rest of my life.

  11. 1) I’m sorry baby, but I just can’t see you anymore.

  12. 2) WOW, that security ball will follow you literally ANYWHERE!!

  13. 2) I confess! I have an addiction to snorting white-out.

  14. 3) Really. I promise to always greet you with “How you doin’?”

  15. 3) …and that’s why the court order bars me from using Vaseline ever again.

  16. 4) My soul is a plaything of the elder gods.

  17. 4) In order for my cover to work, I need you to do that high-pitched scary voice every time you see me.

  18. 5) While I’m Pesident, you can come by the White House and “smoke a cigar” anytime you want.

  19. 1) I like to wear ladies panties.

    2) Wanna play the question game?

    3) Why does the moon keep talking to us?

    4) My wife can never know about what we did.

  20. “Where ever I go. women throw themselves at me.”

  21. 5) It’s okay. We don’t have to do this. Any other time or place you want.

  22. 1) “Want to see a trick I learned in prison? It can be done anywhere.”

  23. 2) “I think Ricky Gervais is hilarious.”

    [Sorry, Patrick #2. I saw an opening and I went for it :)]

  24. 1. “In order to complete the illusion, I need to talk like Tony Curtis anywhere I go.”

  25. I only need you to pretend to be a woman for a couple more days.

  26. 1)

    o/` o/` I can feel your halo halo halo… o/` o/`

  27. 2)

    Darling, do me a favour: wear that enormous bonnet *everywhere*.

  28. 1)”I check out Hero Machine whenever I can!”

  29. 3) [playing off the poorly placed speech balloon. Yes, if I have to explain it, it mustn’t be that good…]

    Moon, I hate to tell ya, but I’ve been having sex with this girl you see here. A LOT.

  30. Dominic Marconi

    “I have to tell you. I’m an anarchist and have the urge to post renegade posters everywhere I go.”

  31. ThePerfectTense

    1. Let’s always speak in Klingon!

  32. 4)

    Honey, I hate to tell you this, but people are *talking* about your alien cranial implant.

  33. “I think of you every time I pleasure myself.”

  34. I dont know why, but everytime you say “Even in the office?” I want to kiss you even more.

  35. Don’t worry it ain’t harrasment.

    Bout time for a quickie.

    Can you put it on? i’m a little tired.

  36. Can I wear that lacy pink dress and matching pumps you keep in the back of your closet tomorrow?

  37. My darling, I think those Taco Bell bean barritos gave you horrible smelling gas!!!

  38. “I do not like green eggs and ham, Sam-I-Am.”

    @Patrick(2): I forfeit. Not only is that line the best, but I happen to agree! (Now excuse me while I don my flame-proof armor.)

  39. “I think we need to end our inter-office relationship.”

  40. 3) “Sometimes I like to feel pretty.”

  41. 4) “Tomorrow, I’ll go through the end day without pants. Just for you, doll!”

  42. 4) “Tomorrow, I’ll go through the entire day without pants. Just for you, doll!”

    (Fixed :))

  43. 1) As soon as this day ends, I will go through the rest of the year streaking.

    2) For some reason I have the urge to photo-copy my cheeks every day.

    3) Whenever I make a mistake, my policy is “Blame it on the alcohol.”

    4) As of tomorrow, I will go through the rest of the year wearing a neon pink fright wig.

    5) I want my own theme song that will play whenever I’m about to do something epic.

  44. “Yep, 1000 times in 1000 different places”

    “before the day is done, one of us will make a non sequitur”

  45. 1) Next time let’s not eat chicken nuggets anymore.
    2) Never wear that black sweater when I’m near. Never…
    3) That moon is evil! He’s watching me like a stalker…
    4) I always try to come up with methods, how to throw you out from the window.
    5) I have a personal slave.

  46. “Before we kiss, I need you to say those four magic words that drive me crazy.”

  47. I really should reword my caption from 24. It should read:

    1. “In order to complete the illusion, I need to talk like Tony Curtis everywhere I go.”

    also:

    2. “Honey, we need to install a toilet in every single room of our dream home.”

    I really don’t think I’ll be adding any more captions this week.

  48. 1. It’s only kinky the first time.
    2. You can wipe your bloody finger on my suit anytime.

  49. Okay, I lied. I’ve got one more, based mostly on the fact I ran across this joke 3 times this morning. And a tip of the hat to Patrick (2).

    “You know what I’m tired of? ‘That’s what she said’ jokes.”

  50. 1)every time I kiss a women a sceneic beach appears behind me.
    2)hold on as a second my love, the moon is asking me a question.
    3)Feel free to fake it anytime.
    4)I love when you wear your dress made out of a screen door.
    5)I wear this suit every where I go.

  51. 1. Sometimes I like to slap on a blonde wig. Prance around. Pretend I’m you.

    2. I dream of a life where I don’t have to wear pants.

    3. I’ll call mine “the monument”. You call yours “the office”.

    4. Remember no eye contact.

    5. I’d like to promote you to ‘sex manager’, heh heh.

  52. Those Giant Half Sheep Half Bear Things are everywhere