Caption Contest 89: HULK SMASH!

Come up with the best replacement dialog for this random comics panel and you'll win your choice of either any item you like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3's final release, or a custom black and white "Sketch of the Day" style illustration!

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep 'em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep 'em funny!

No limit on the number of submissions beyond normal self-editing (i.e. don't spam crappy entries hoping to get lucky), so good luck to everyone. Contest closes next Monday.

(Image © Marvel Comics.)

125 Responses to Caption Contest 89: HULK SMASH!

  1. A) Where is my rubberducky?!

    B) HULK SMASH!

    C) Torch on!

    D) Violence is no solution.

  2. “Oh no! Murky Dismal has drained me of my color!” (rainbow brite reference)

  3. Captain_Kicktar

    Give me back my green paint!

  4. this a good place for a stick up

    What you never drop smokie numer 2 when you lift a tank??

    you pick a tank up you put a tank down now we’re doing the hokie pokie

  5. This is so wizard!

  6. BRING BACK FIREFLY!

    A ROBOCOP REMAKE?!

    THIS…IS…KAAAABUUUUL!

    take this Ang Lee!

    don’t ask, don’t tell!

    they’re re-releasing star wars in 3d? EAT THIS LUCAS!

  7. Its because im green inset it.

  8. 1. “Spotlight dance!”
    2. “Where’s Waldo????”
    3. “Papa Hulk Spank!”

  9. THIS…IS…KAAAABUUUUL!

    BRING BACK FIREFLY!

    hey Ang Lee! catch!

    don’t ask, don’t tell!

    A ROBOCOP REMAKE?!

    they’re re-releasing star wars in 3d? EAT THIS LUCAS!

  10. Z. Daniel Phoenix

    Hulk not just strong.

    Hulk Army Strong!

  11. and one! and two! flex those abs!

  12. 1. Hulk have manners! Hulk tank you very much!

  13. Let’s see chuck Norris do this!

  14. Nick Hentschel

    First, the obligatory commercial parodies:
    “Hey, Kool-Aid”
    “I’m not just the Green Club president, I’m also a client!”
    “Hi, I’m Joe Isuzu…”

    Political jokes:
    “What good’s a tank with no GAS!?”
    “Hummers suck!”
    “I’ll GIVE you a ‘surge’!”

    Pop culture jokes:
    “In just 7 days, I can make you a MAAAAAN!” {Rocky Horror reference]
    “Yo Joe!”

    HM in-jokes:
    “Welcome to THE WORLD’S MANLIEST RITUALS!” πŸ˜‰

    And just plain silliness:
    “I wanted a CHOO-CHOO for Christmas!”
    “Damn wide-screen TVs… a shoe’s not big enough to throw!” (Too long?)

  15. Where’s Hulk’s Keys !?!

  16. Watson Bradshaw

    “HULK PARK TANK, YOU TIP BIG!!!”

  17. Now Hulk just need other Hulks to spell out M-C-A!

  18. 2. [sings, as only Hulk can…]
    “…You know grey is Hulk’s favorite color. Hulk felt so symbolic, yesterday. If Hulk knew Picasso, Hulk would buy Hulk a grey guitar and play…”

  19. 3. Hulk feel comfortable in Wrangler jeans.

  20. “Lets see Lou Ferig…Farig…whats-his-name do THIS!

  21. 2.Next one of you calls me the Jolly Green Giant is going to get it!

    3.Die spider!

  22. 4. Hulk know he look like Frank Sinatra in face. Hulk get that all the time.

  23. “I don’t know how to express myself!”

    “It aint easy bein’ green. that’s why i got a color change operation.”

  24. 1. I LOVE Black Fridays!

    2. Who ordered the tank?

    3. Since when is it a crime to lift weights in public?

  25. Hulk has HAD IT with urbal supliments!!!! GIVE HULK BACK HIS STEROIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. “I say, you wouldn’t happen to know where I could set down this tank would you? it’s frightfully heavy.”

  27. Geez how I hate these movment turns in 1 to 1 scale wargaming! Lets see how far does armor move in this turn?

  28. Last time I play with G.I.Joes at Larry Hama’s house!

  29. 5. Hulk SMASHES the competition at Hulk’s Auto and Tank Emporium!

  30. “Throw throw throw your tank gently down the street.”

  31. 1. Im grey hulk! Higher IQ, same bad judgment calls.

  32. Here’s your Tank General Ross, Thank you for using the Hulk Valet Service!

  33. As you can clearly see by the way I hold this tank, not only do I have super human levels strength but I also have Stretch Armstrong like arms as well!

  34. “I’m just trying to find a parking spot! God, you rent-a-cops need to get over yourselves!”

    Mr. Q

  35. Hulk finds night games clashes with Hulk’s purist ideals! And using game to honor military service men only cheapens their sacrifice!

  36. 1 – Hulk no like playing with green army men.
    2 – Hulk no like tanks!
    3 – Here, boy! Go fetch!

  37. “NO BODY MOVE! I lost a contact lense!”

  38. ok everybody remember where we parked

  39. Wheres my shirt and I am not a jersey shore cast member

  40. Hulk said PUT TOYS AWAY!

  41. 1. ARMY STRONG!
    2. HULK IS HUNGOVER!!
    3. YOU THINK YOUTUBE MAD HITLER IS MAD? HULK SHOWS YOU REAL MAD!!!
    4. I haven’t taken these damn pants off since 1962!

  42. Ho Ho Ho Green Giant

  43. My jeans are to tight!

  44. Damn skinny jeans

  45. I want Edward Norton back!!!

  46. Ive always been green!
    Tank uses to much diesel fuel!

  47. I’m to sexy for my shirt!

  48. I do not use steroids!!!

  49. OK Who said I look like Shrek!

  50. “Dang not under here either.”

  51. 1) “HULK WANT PANCAKES!! GIVE HULK PANCAKES!!!”

  52. “Huh? Why there speech bubble come out of armpit? He talk?!”

  53. “ARMY GO HOME! HULK WATCH SPARTICUS AT DRIVE-IN!”

  54. 2) “It’s over 9000!!!”

  55. “WHAT YOU LOOK AT? HULK LEAVE KEY IN PURPLE PANTS!”

  56. 3) “Catch!”

  57. 1. Hulk worst at Hide-and-Seek.
    2. I’ll give your tank back when you all learn to play nicely.
    3. Christmas came early!

  58. “Hulk eat Wheaties!”

  59. 1. Touchdown!!

  60. HULK SMASH BIG METAL GUN!

  61. BASEBALL BAT!

  62. STOP SHOOTING ME!

  63. HULK HATE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!

  64. – “HULK PLAYING REAL LIFE CALL OF DUTY!”

  65. (Just because it’s that time of year)

    Ebenezer Scrooge I am the ghost of Christmas SMASH!!!!!!!!

  66. “DUDE! Where Hulk’s Car?”

  67. Old Spice body wash blocks odor for 16 hours!!!!!!!

  68. DONT BE AFRAID, IT JUST STEROID SYMPTOM!!!!!!!!!!

  69. 1) GIVE HULK SWEETIES OR HULK DROP TANK ON YOU!
    2) WHERE HULK PUPPY?

  70. Oops,I pooped my pants!

  71. (Only one I could think of. Anyone who’s played old arcade games should get it…)

    1.”Palette swap Hulk hate being player 2!”

  72. HULK NOT DRIVE! HULK WALK!

    HULK BREAK SUPERMAN’S RECORD!

    To start off Hulk’s workout routine we lift tank. After 100 reps we lift battleship.

  73. Da da da duh duh duh… Secret Hulk disproportionate body frame power!

  74. STOP! I dropped a contact lens!

  75. Blast this Christmas music. It’s joyful and triumphant.

  76. [a taxicab passes him by]
    It’s because I’m green isn’t it?

  77. Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches, plus two!

  78. All your tank belong to hulk!

  79. “This is the last time I’ll warn ya… KEEP YOUR DAMN TANKS OFF MY LAWN!”

    Mr. Q

  80. crittersherwood

    “THIS IS MY PARKING SPACE!!!”

  81. “Hulk teach you not to park tank in handicap spot!!!!”

  82. This is ant man, help me! The stench is too much!

  83. This puny tank will help me “SMASH” puny humans. RAAAAAA!!!

  84. This puny green thing will help hulk itch Nut-Sack… Ahhh It feels so good! RAAAAAA!!!

  85. “TANKS FOR NOTHIN!”

  86. I scroll down 88 comments with no tanks/thanks puns, and then in comes JINx345 (therefore I can’t in good conscience do “Tanks for the memories”)… moving on:

    First he Eric Bana, then he Edward Norton now he Mark Ruffalo… HULK CONFUSED!

    STUPID MAN STEAL HULK’S PARKING SPACE!

    Hulk should make all his clothes from jeans

  87. Mark Ruffalo?? HULK SMASH BAD CASTING!!!

  88. alphaalpharomeo

    1-Hulk be Santa….Where is tree
    2-Hulk mad not Christmas Green
    3-Hulk hate Army…Go Navy

  89. Nick Hentschel

    …and, of course:

    “Hulkamania is runnin’ wild!!!”

  90. “Hulk like to see Solomon Grundy do this!!!”

  91. T is for Tank, tossed to Timbuktu!

  92. “Who ordered the tank? C’mon, I got other deliveries to make!”

  93. CHOSENONE81385

    Where Hulk put remote?!?!?!

  94. “Hulk love dance party.”

    “Hulk use tank as sunblock. That why Hulk so pale.”

    “Hulk want more eggnog!”

    “Green Hulk get big when he angry. Gray Hulk get big when he bored.”

  95. @Runt (14): that had me laughing so hard I spit soda out of my nose. πŸ˜€

  96. You call this an undercoating?

  97. 1. This is Hulk’s p-p-p-poker face!

    2. Handle this truth, Colonel Jessep!

    3. Bustin’ out the seams of my velcro fly!

    4. Say hello to my armored friend!

    5. Hulk tired of pop culture references!

    6. Argh! Not vertebrae C2 through C5!

    7. Hulk call left bicep “Twitchy!”

  98. “HULK NOT STUPID. HULK SEE ‘NINJA TANK’.”

  99. alphaalpharomeo

    Hulk love plastic army men

  100. Who said TanksGiving was over?!

  101. The return of the Ninja Tank! Outstanding! Well done, frankie, well done indeed!

  102. Hulk want purple pants back

  103. Harvey Richardson

    My pits stank so bad that I turn grey after green.

  104. “Its play time.”

  105. IM NOT HULK, IM JEROME, THE ANGRY BLACK GUY

  106. Green tank with purple treads make no sense to Hulk!

  107. A )Guys, Where did you want this? I can’t Hold it all friggin day!

    B) They said if i shook it hard enough candy would come out.. WHERES MY CANDY

    C) This situation feels familiar, Why am I always throwing tanks?

  108. “This World not colorful! Come Tanky! We need good paint! World Jump!”

  109. Hulk smash John Byrne!

  110. bookaddict1978

    Hulk big boy now! Hulk lift tank!

  111. 1. Body by Jake? Bah, body by Hulk!
    2. Wanna see my fastball special?
    3. Top this Mr.Incredible.
    4. Betty, make up your mind, where do you want this at!

  112. “Now I will hide amongst the army men, cleverly disguised as a garden fountain.”

  113. Many are like it, but this one is mine!

  114. Hulk got your christmas present right here

  115. HalLoweEn JacK

    1. WHO PARKED THIS IN MY SPACE?!?
    2. PUT FISHY BACK IN MY TANK!
    3. I WANTED A RED ONE! NOW CHRISTMAS IS RUINED FOR, LIKE, EVER!

  116. HalLoweEn JacK

    4. HULK IS NO DUMB BUNNY AT THINKING!

  117. HULK…NOT…PURPLE!!!

  118. WHO said Spiderman was more popular than me?!

  119. “Kool-aid aint got nuthin on me”
    “IM here to pump u up”

  120. HalLoweEn JacK

    WHO SAYS HULK LOST PERSPECTIVE?!?

  121. where is hulk tv special?