Caption Contest 89: HULK SMASH!

Come up with the best replacement dialog for this random comics panel and you'll win your choice of either any item you like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3's final release, or a custom black and white "Sketch of the Day" style illustration!

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep 'em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep 'em funny!

No limit on the number of submissions beyond normal self-editing (i.e. don't spam crappy entries hoping to get lucky), so good luck to everyone. Contest closes next Monday.

(Image © Marvel Comics.)

125 Responses to Caption Contest 89: HULK SMASH!

  1. Avatar Al says:

    A) Where is my rubberducky?!

    B) HULK SMASH!

    C) Torch on!

    D) Violence is no solution.

  2. Avatar joel says:

    “Oh no! Murky Dismal has drained me of my color!” (rainbow brite reference)

  3. Avatar Captain_Kicktar says:

    Give me back my green paint!

  4. Vengenace Vengenace says:

    this a good place for a stick up

    What you never drop smokie numer 2 when you lift a tank??

    you pick a tank up you put a tank down now we’re doing the hokie pokie

  5. Avatar Matt says:

    This is so wizard!

  6. Avatar adam h says:

    BRING BACK FIREFLY!

    A ROBOCOP REMAKE?!

    THIS…IS…KAAAABUUUUL!

    take this Ang Lee!

    don’t ask, don’t tell!

    they’re re-releasing star wars in 3d? EAT THIS LUCAS!

  7. Avatar Matt says:

    Its because im green inset it.

  8. Avatar Rick says:

    1. “Spotlight dance!”
    2. “Where’s Waldo????”
    3. “Papa Hulk Spank!”

  9. Avatar adam h says:

    THIS…IS…KAAAABUUUUL!

    BRING BACK FIREFLY!

    hey Ang Lee! catch!

    don’t ask, don’t tell!

    A ROBOCOP REMAKE?!

    they’re re-releasing star wars in 3d? EAT THIS LUCAS!

  10. Avatar Z. Daniel Phoenix says:

    Hulk not just strong.

    Hulk Army Strong!

  11. Avatar Vogie says:

    and one! and two! flex those abs!

  12. Avatar Runt82 says:

    1. Hulk have manners! Hulk tank you very much!

  13. Avatar kyle says:

    Let’s see chuck Norris do this!

  14. Avatar Nick Hentschel says:

    First, the obligatory commercial parodies:
    “Hey, Kool-Aid”
    “I’m not just the Green Club president, I’m also a client!”
    “Hi, I’m Joe Isuzu…”

    Political jokes:
    “What good’s a tank with no GAS!?”
    “Hummers suck!”
    “I’ll GIVE you a ‘surge’!”

    Pop culture jokes:
    “In just 7 days, I can make you a MAAAAAN!” {Rocky Horror reference]
    “Yo Joe!”

    HM in-jokes:
    “Welcome to THE WORLD’S MANLIEST RITUALS!” πŸ˜‰

    And just plain silliness:
    “I wanted a CHOO-CHOO for Christmas!”
    “Damn wide-screen TVs… a shoe’s not big enough to throw!” (Too long?)

  15. Avatar dave3dclark says:

    Where’s Hulk’s Keys !?!

  16. Avatar Watson Bradshaw says:

    “HULK PARK TANK, YOU TIP BIG!!!”

  17. Avatar count libido says:

    Now Hulk just need other Hulks to spell out M-C-A!

  18. Avatar Runt82 says:

    2. [sings, as only Hulk can…]
    “…You know grey is Hulk’s favorite color. Hulk felt so symbolic, yesterday. If Hulk knew Picasso, Hulk would buy Hulk a grey guitar and play…”

  19. Avatar Runt82 says:

    3. Hulk feel comfortable in Wrangler jeans.

  20. Avatar Dr. Shrinker says:

    “Lets see Lou Ferig…Farig…whats-his-name do THIS!

  21. Avatar kyle says:

    2.Next one of you calls me the Jolly Green Giant is going to get it!

    3.Die spider!

  22. Avatar Runt82 says:

    4. Hulk know he look like Frank Sinatra in face. Hulk get that all the time.

  23. Avatar joel says:

    “I don’t know how to express myself!”

    “It aint easy bein’ green. that’s why i got a color change operation.”

  24. Avatar HecNukem says:

    1. I LOVE Black Fridays!

    2. Who ordered the tank?

    3. Since when is it a crime to lift weights in public?

  25. Avatar Tuldabar says:

    Hulk has HAD IT with urbal supliments!!!! GIVE HULK BACK HIS STEROIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Avatar joel says:

    “I say, you wouldn’t happen to know where I could set down this tank would you? it’s frightfully heavy.”

  27. Avatar Rich Willett says:

    Geez how I hate these movment turns in 1 to 1 scale wargaming! Lets see how far does armor move in this turn?

  28. Avatar Rich Willett says:

    Last time I play with G.I.Joes at Larry Hama’s house!

  29. Avatar Runt82 says:

    5. Hulk SMASHES the competition at Hulk’s Auto and Tank Emporium!

  30. Avatar Oquies says:

    “Throw throw throw your tank gently down the street.”

  31. Avatar ajw says:

    1. Im grey hulk! Higher IQ, same bad judgment calls.

  32. Kaldath Kaldath says:

    Here’s your Tank General Ross, Thank you for using the Hulk Valet Service!

  33. Kaldath Kaldath says:

    As you can clearly see by the way I hold this tank, not only do I have super human levels strength but I also have Stretch Armstrong like arms as well!

  34. Avatar Mr. Q says:

    “I’m just trying to find a parking spot! God, you rent-a-cops need to get over yourselves!”

    Mr. Q

  35. Avatar Myro says:

    Hulk finds night games clashes with Hulk’s purist ideals! And using game to honor military service men only cheapens their sacrifice!

  36. Avatar Hines57 says:

    1 – Hulk no like playing with green army men.
    2 – Hulk no like tanks!
    3 – Here, boy! Go fetch!

  37. Avatar Razhwurz says:

    “NO BODY MOVE! I lost a contact lense!”

  38. Avatar yojimbo jones says:

    ok everybody remember where we parked

  39. Avatar Cha$e says:

    Wheres my shirt and I am not a jersey shore cast member

  40. Avatar EnderX says:

    Hulk said PUT TOYS AWAY!

  41. Avatar thejay says:

    1. ARMY STRONG!
    2. HULK IS HUNGOVER!!
    3. YOU THINK YOUTUBE MAD HITLER IS MAD? HULK SHOWS YOU REAL MAD!!!
    4. I haven’t taken these damn pants off since 1962!

  42. Avatar Matt says:

    Ho Ho Ho Green Giant

  43. Avatar Matt says:

    My jeans are to tight!

  44. Avatar Matt says:

    Damn skinny jeans

  45. Avatar Matt says:

    I want Edward Norton back!!!

  46. Avatar Matt says:

    Ive always been green!
    Tank uses to much diesel fuel!

  47. Avatar Matt says:

    I’m to sexy for my shirt!

  48. Avatar Matt says:

    I do not use steroids!!!

  49. Avatar Matt says:

    OK Who said I look like Shrek!

  50. Avatar Oquies says:

    “Dang not under here either.”

  51. Avatar Tim says:

    1) “HULK WANT PANCAKES!! GIVE HULK PANCAKES!!!”

  52. Avatar Chisoph says:

    “Huh? Why there speech bubble come out of armpit? He talk?!”

  53. Avatar frankie says:

    “ARMY GO HOME! HULK WATCH SPARTICUS AT DRIVE-IN!”

  54. Avatar Tim says:

    2) “It’s over 9000!!!”

  55. Avatar frankie says:

    “WHAT YOU LOOK AT? HULK LEAVE KEY IN PURPLE PANTS!”

  56. Avatar Tim says:

    3) “Catch!”

  57. Avatar Fishsticks says:

    1. Hulk worst at Hide-and-Seek.
    2. I’ll give your tank back when you all learn to play nicely.
    3. Christmas came early!

  58. Avatar Big Loom says:

    “Hulk eat Wheaties!”

  59. Avatar remy says:

    1. Touchdown!!

  60. Avatar James Smith says:

    HULK SMASH BIG METAL GUN!

  61. Avatar James Smith says:

    BASEBALL BAT!

  62. Avatar James Smith says:

    STOP SHOOTING ME!

  63. Avatar James Smith says:

    HULK HATE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!

  64. Avatar Knitesoul says:

    – “HULK PLAYING REAL LIFE CALL OF DUTY!”

  65. Kaldath Kaldath says:

    (Just because it’s that time of year)

    Ebenezer Scrooge I am the ghost of Christmas SMASH!!!!!!!!

  66. Avatar Rhinoman says:

    “DUDE! Where Hulk’s Car?”

  67. Avatar Big Loom says:

    Old Spice body wash blocks odor for 16 hours!!!!!!!

  68. Avatar Tyrin says:

    DONT BE AFRAID, IT JUST STEROID SYMPTOM!!!!!!!!!!

  69. Avatar Fyzza says:

    1) GIVE HULK SWEETIES OR HULK DROP TANK ON YOU!
    2) WHERE HULK PUPPY?

  70. Avatar JonnyDemon says:

    Oops,I pooped my pants!

  71. Avatar Gero says:

    (Only one I could think of. Anyone who’s played old arcade games should get it…)

    1.”Palette swap Hulk hate being player 2!”

  72. Avatar LoneWolf6155 says:

    HULK NOT DRIVE! HULK WALK!

    HULK BREAK SUPERMAN’S RECORD!

    To start off Hulk’s workout routine we lift tank. After 100 reps we lift battleship.

  73. Da da da duh duh duh… Secret Hulk disproportionate body frame power!

  74. Avatar John says:

    STOP! I dropped a contact lens!

  75. Avatar Matt says:

    Blast this Christmas music. It’s joyful and triumphant.

  76. Avatar Matt says:

    [a taxicab passes him by]
    It’s because I’m green isn’t it?

  77. Avatar Matt says:

    Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day. And then the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches, plus two!

  78. Avatar venomfang666 says:

    All your tank belong to hulk!

  79. Avatar Mr. Q says:

    “This is the last time I’ll warn ya… KEEP YOUR DAMN TANKS OFF MY LAWN!”

    Mr. Q

  80. Avatar crittersherwood says:

    “THIS IS MY PARKING SPACE!!!”

  81. Avatar jay says:

    “Hulk teach you not to park tank in handicap spot!!!!”

  82. Avatar knighthawk says:

    This is ant man, help me! The stench is too much!

  83. Avatar bobtheb903 says:

    This puny tank will help me “SMASH” puny humans. RAAAAAA!!!

  84. Avatar bobtheb903 says:

    This puny green thing will help hulk itch Nut-Sack… Ahhh It feels so good! RAAAAAA!!!

  85. Avatar JINx345 says:

    “TANKS FOR NOTHIN!”

  86. Avatar Frevoli says:

    I scroll down 88 comments with no tanks/thanks puns, and then in comes JINx345 (therefore I can’t in good conscience do “Tanks for the memories”)… moving on:

    First he Eric Bana, then he Edward Norton now he Mark Ruffalo… HULK CONFUSED!

    STUPID MAN STEAL HULK’S PARKING SPACE!

    Hulk should make all his clothes from jeans

  87. Avatar Dan says:

    Mark Ruffalo?? HULK SMASH BAD CASTING!!!

  88. alphaalpharomeo alphaalpharomeo says:

    1-Hulk be Santa….Where is tree
    2-Hulk mad not Christmas Green
    3-Hulk hate Army…Go Navy

  89. Avatar Nick Hentschel says:

    …and, of course:

    “Hulkamania is runnin’ wild!!!”

  90. Avatar jay says:

    “Hulk like to see Solomon Grundy do this!!!”

  91. Avatar X-stacy says:

    T is for Tank, tossed to Timbuktu!

  92. Avatar Jack Zelger says:

    “Who ordered the tank? C’mon, I got other deliveries to make!”

  93. Avatar CHOSENONE81385 says:

    Where Hulk put remote?!?!?!

  94. Avatar Jake says:

    “Hulk love dance party.”

    “Hulk use tank as sunblock. That why Hulk so pale.”

    “Hulk want more eggnog!”

    “Green Hulk get big when he angry. Gray Hulk get big when he bored.”

  95. Avatar The Imp says:

    @Runt (14): that had me laughing so hard I spit soda out of my nose. πŸ˜€

  96. Avatar thor1066 says:

    You call this an undercoating?

  97. 1. This is Hulk’s p-p-p-poker face!

    2. Handle this truth, Colonel Jessep!

    3. Bustin’ out the seams of my velcro fly!

    4. Say hello to my armored friend!

    5. Hulk tired of pop culture references!

    6. Argh! Not vertebrae C2 through C5!

    7. Hulk call left bicep “Twitchy!”

  98. Avatar frankie says:

    “HULK NOT STUPID. HULK SEE ‘NINJA TANK’.”

  99. alphaalpharomeo alphaalpharomeo says:

    Hulk love plastic army men

  100. Avatar Kountkill says:

    Who said TanksGiving was over?!

  101. Avatar John says:

    The return of the Ninja Tank! Outstanding! Well done, frankie, well done indeed!

  102. Avatar Kidpool says:

    Hulk want purple pants back

  103. Avatar Harvey Richardson says:

    My pits stank so bad that I turn grey after green.

  104. Avatar Oquies says:

    “Its play time.”

  105. Avatar Tyrin says:

    IM NOT HULK, IM JEROME, THE ANGRY BLACK GUY

  106. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    Green tank with purple treads make no sense to Hulk!

  107. Avatar Shogran says:

    A )Guys, Where did you want this? I can’t Hold it all friggin day!

    B) They said if i shook it hard enough candy would come out.. WHERES MY CANDY

    C) This situation feels familiar, Why am I always throwing tanks?

  108. Avatar Chisoph says:

    “This World not colorful! Come Tanky! We need good paint! World Jump!”

  109. Avatar kingmonkey says:

    Hulk smash John Byrne!

  110. Avatar bookaddict1978 says:

    Hulk big boy now! Hulk lift tank!

  111. Avatar MontanaPlayer says:

    1. Body by Jake? Bah, body by Hulk!
    2. Wanna see my fastball special?
    3. Top this Mr.Incredible.
    4. Betty, make up your mind, where do you want this at!

  112. Avatar joel says:

    “Now I will hide amongst the army men, cleverly disguised as a garden fountain.”

  113. Avatar X-stacy says:

    Many are like it, but this one is mine!

  114. Avatar Mr.Chris says:

    Hulk got your christmas present right here

  115. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    1. WHO PARKED THIS IN MY SPACE?!?
    2. PUT FISHY BACK IN MY TANK!
    3. I WANTED A RED ONE! NOW CHRISTMAS IS RUINED FOR, LIKE, EVER!

  116. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    4. HULK IS NO DUMB BUNNY AT THINKING!

  117. Avatar 3rdvendetta says:

    HULK…NOT…PURPLE!!!

  118. Avatar Kidpool says:

    WHO said Spiderman was more popular than me?!

  119. Avatar andshutup says:

    “Kool-aid aint got nuthin on me”
    “IM here to pump u up”

  120. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    WHO SAYS HULK LOST PERSPECTIVE?!?

  121. Avatar kyle says:

    where is hulk tv special?