Gourgazm!

The results are early, but overwhelming, so in honor of this being RPG Friday and all, I am going to take the 18-2 split as definitive and launch our Lone Wolf into the fray against the awful Gourgaz!

The creature that you now face is a Gourgaz, one of a race of cold-blooded reptilian creatures that dwell deep in the treacherous Maakenmire swamps. Their favorite food is human flesh!

The Prince’s Sword lies at your feet. You may pick up and use this weapon if you wish. The Gourgaz is about to strike at you — you must fight him to the death.

Gourgaz: COMBAT SKILL 20 ENDURANCE 30

This creature is immune to Mindblast.

One has to wonder how the Gourgaz prefers his favorite meal of human flesh. If he likes it grilled and there is no handy grill, I’d say we’re fine on that score. Plus come on, it’s in the middle of a battle, who’s going to take the time to enjoy a light snack? So ignore that wetness trickling down our pants leg, folks, it’s highly doubtful we’re going to end up as lunch even if we lose. Probably.

Gulp.

To business, we don’t need the Prince’s Sword. In the first place it clearly didn’t do the Prince much good, and in the second our preferred weapon is an Axe, which we have handy already. It sucks that Mindblast doesn’t work on these Gourgaz creatures (I wonder if that’s a backhanded dig at Gary Gygax?), as that’s two valuable combat points we’re missing out on. But such is life for the intrepid young Kai Warrior in training.

With the axe our combat skill is 21, and our Endurance is currently at 17. Only a one point advantage and only 2/3 the enemy’s stamina is going to be a tough, tough fight. See, this is why cowards thrive!

Anyway, nothing for it but to get to it. I’ll chronicle the combat rounds after the jump. Here’s hoping we win!

Round 1: Rolled a 4, Enemy-7 (23), Lone Wolf-3 (14).
Round 2: Rolled a 6, Enemy-9 (14), Lone Wolf-2 (12).
Round 3: Rolled an 8, Enemy-11 (3), Lone Wolf-0 (12, wahoo!).
Round 4: Rolled a 3, Enemy-6 (-3, dead!), Lone Wolf-3 (9)

We won! Wow, tough fight, though, we lost 8 Endurance, almost half our remaining total. We’re down to 9 now from our high of 24. This is what you meddling kids get for not taking the back way out!

The book says “If you win, turn to 82.” I love how they don’t give an “if you lose” page because come on, if you lose you’re dead and the authors frankly can’t be bothered with you any more, you slacker. That’s awesome.

The giant Gourgaz lies dead at your feet. His evil followers hiss at you and then fall back from the bridge. The Prince’s soldiers form a protective wall around you and their dying leader with their shields. Black arrows whistle past your head.

The dying Prince looks up into your eyes and says, ‘Kai Lord, you must take a message to my father. The enemy is too strong, we cannot hold him. The King must seek that which is in Durenor or all is lost. Take my horse and ride for the capital. May the luck of the gods ride with you.’

You bid a sad farewell to the Prince, mount his white steed and head south along the forest path. The battle still rages behind you as the Prince’s men fight off another assault on the bridge.

Turn to 235.

About time the Prince’s soldiers formed a wall around him. A little late to the party, fellahs, but thanks! I’m sure his corpse will appreciate your tardy arrival. Punks.

The Prince’s horse is indeed a magnificent animal, fast and sure of foot. You gallop along the twisting track as if itwere a straight highway, until the noise of battle has disappeared far behind you.

You are hungry and must eat a Meal during your ride.

After several miles, the path stops abruptly at a junction. There is a signpost, but it has been hacked down.

We’re out of food now, by the way. That means if we’re instructed to eat a meal at some point and we haven’t found another one, we lose 3 Endurance points.

6 Responses to Gourgazm!

  1. So hungry…

  2. William A. Peterson

    I like how 10% are still voting for “I don’t know how to read”!

  3. Being left-handed I’m voting to go left…

  4. Yeah, rule of Batman, go left.

    I’m kind of tickled that we stole the Prince’s clearly superior horse, even though the soldiers had already given us one of our own. I’m less enthused with our failing health. From now on, I’m staying staunchly on the side of cowardice, unless we’re offered bandages and food for taking part in the next fight.

  5. Hooray for the trolling jackass! Gosh, if only they couldn’t read. Though I do have a question- what do you mean by “rule of Batman?”

  6. In Batman: the Animated Series, Batman always goes left when he doesn’t know which way to go.