Poll Position: Wolverine Vs…

I'm going low-brow today with a favorite fanboi fantasy:


Let's don our Thinking Caps as we puff on the Pipe of Profundity as we contemplate this Great Philosophical Mystery. And yes, I know some of these have been done before, but let's not let reality get in the way of our fevered imaginations.

This Hulk worst haircut EVER! Die, little man!

  • Superman: I know this would be popular, and I further know that regular-human Batman has pulled this off successfully a number of times, but come on. Superman would eat his lunch.
  • Batman: I love the idea of unmatched fury and savagery of Wolverine versus the intense discipline and martial artistry of Batman.
  • Predator: The ultimate hunter versus what might be the ultimate prey. Very cool.
  • Xenomorphs: I'd watch this movie. Screw "Aliens vs. Predator", I want to see adamantium claws slicing through some aliens, baby!
  • Martian Manhunter: I like putting MM in these polls because frankly, he's Superman without being as scary for some reason. However, since all Logan would have to do would be to light J'Onn on fire with is cigar, this might not be the best matchup.
  • Spawn: I'm not a big Spawn fan, but I would like to see those chains get sliced in half. They bug me.
  • Venom: Again, not a huge Venom fan. But he's evil so I wouldn't mind seeing Wolverine get rid of him once and for all.
  • Wonder Woman: This would be worth it purely for watching her deflect those claws with her magic bracelets. I wonder which metal would win?

I think the Batman matchup would be the most interesting from an actual storytelling standpoint, but I'd also be keen to read a comic or watch a movie with Logan having to battle through hordes of xenomorphs.

Which would you pick?

15 Responses to Poll Position: Wolverine Vs…

  1. Worf says:

    At this point (5 votes in) I’m the lone vote for Batman. Hope that changes

  2. Danny Beaty says:

    I would like to see Wolverine fight Carnage.

  3. X-stacy says:

    I chose Superman because, honestly, I’d kind of like to see Wolverine get his ass kicked. I was a fangirl back in the day, but he’s just so over-done now.

    I imagine the fight going like this: “I’m the best”–Wolverine gets punched through a building, gets up and bares his teeth in a berserker’s ricktus grin–“there is”–Wolvine gets knocked around some more, puts a couple holes in Superman’s suit–“at what”–Wolverine gets heat-visioned down to a skeleton, recovers–“I do”–Wolverine is thrown into outer space to drift endlessly. Superman feels kinda bad about it, but on reflection, decides Wolverine is probably enough like Lobo to come through okay.

  4. Jeff Hebert says:

    X-stacy, you are hereby hired to write that comic.

  5. Jake says:

    I went with Martian Manhunter. The whole fire bit is dependent on Wolverine doing some research, which is not his style. MM is kind of like a mix between Batman and Superman. He has a lot of similar powers to Superman, but in his day job he is a detective.

  6. John says:

    I’m with X-Stacy. I’d love to see Logan rear back, claws extended, and thrust forward into Kal-El, only to have said claws explode backwards through his elbows upon contact with the invulnerable Big Blue Midsection.

  7. Dennis says:

    Although I agree that Batman vs. Wolverine would be an interesting story, and that it would be hysterical seeing him getting pulverised by Superman, I voted Predator. Just because it would be so damn cool.

  8. McNinja says:

    Well, seeing as Spawn is now basically a god in his comics, and Superman would just WTFPWN Wolverine, I’m stuck between Batman and the Predator.

  9. TopHat says:

    He could only kill the Xenos, the Predator and Batman. Supes, Wondy and MM would backhand him into outer-space, Venom would posess him and make Wolvie a symbiotes bitch and Spawn would just soul-rape the guy.

  10. Firecracker says:

    I’m going with Venom. Let’s face facts Wolverine is Wolverine … He tears things up and when he gets torn up he heals … not really that deep! But how would he fair against someting that can regenerate AND give lots of damage as well as join with you. Would Wolvie be able to resist that temptation and would Venom be able to contain all that rage?

  11. Tigerguy786 says:

    I went with Supes because I just love the idea of Wolvie getting some humility from the guy that really is the best. (Sorry all, it’s the truth. He might be Overpowered but whenever the DC universe is in trouble, Superman can win where no one else can and he won’t brag about it afterwards).

  12. DiCicatriz says:

    Martian Manhunter! Shape-shifting Professor X on superman steroids wins everytime.

    I feel like Xenomorphs and Predator would be really cool to watch, but no way he’s coming out on top. With their numbers and willingness to die for the hive, xenomorphs would have him reduced to a pile of acid charred bones in no time. Predator he could probably pull through, but then there’s the whole “every time I lose a fight I nuke the surrounding area” thing they have going for them. Would be an epic thing to see though…

  13. Oquies says:

    I went with Xenomorphs because I just love those things. Maybe his metal claws are not eaten by acid but his flesh isn’t. Even if he does kill the xenomorph he is still going to be pretty messed up if he slashes at it the usual way and gets acid flying all over the place. If he was fighting swarms of them (like they always are) he would never win.

  14. Steve M. says:

    I’d love to read the Wolverine Vs. Batman story. Both of these guys have such a reputation in the comics world for being ultimate bad-asses. Wolverine just keeps going, regardless of the punishment thrown out at him, and Batman is so crazy-prepared it’s ridiculous sometimes.

    The way I’d write it would be, regardless of how Wolvie ends up in Gotham, he’s somehow mind-controlled, and back in full-on Weapon X mode. Whomever the big bad is basically points Logan at Bruce Wayne as a living WMD. Bats then has to take Wolvie down, but with the healing factor in play, Wayne has to use increasingly drastic measures. It’d work from one storytelling standpoint as a character study, showing how obsessively prepared Batman has become because of his rogues gallery, and how unstoppable Wolverine can be. On the other hand, it would be fun to see Batman get ruffled, as Wolvie continually gets up from the latest beatdown, and Bats has to progressively improvise what he’ll do next. Plus, Bats can really start to drop some of his restraint, what with how much punishment Logan can take.

  15. Bearfoot says:

    what Steve M said.