Caption Contest 75 – Bold Pronouncement

It's Caption Contest time again! Come up with the funniest replacement dialog for this random comic book panel and you'll win your choice of either any item you like, or a portrait of yourself, to appear in the final HeroMachine 3 program!

The rules are very simple:

  • No more than three entries per person, left as a comment (or comments) to this post;
  • Keep it clean, appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show;
  • Make your entry or entries by next Monday, when I'll announce the finalists.

Good luck everyone!

93 Responses to Caption Contest 75 – Bold Pronouncement

  1. Joshua says:

    1). Did you think you’d get rid of Dick Cheney that easy?!

    2). Mr. President, I’m fertilizing your crops on Farmville as we speak.

    3). Maximum pwnage!!

  2. Now… Beverly Hills Cop… Da da da da da da da… Axel F, baby!

  3. MartianBlue says:

    Facebook or Myspace. These are the questions that matter.

  4. MartianBlue says:

    So that’s why they say not to goole yourself?

  5. MartianBlue says:

    *Google* not goole

  6. MartianBlue says:

    Leeeroyy Jankinss!
    just in case you don’t get the reference. I love that video.

  7. Jeremy says:

    I just saved a ton of money on my Car Insurance!

    Finally, a cure for this blasted sensitive skin!

    Can you hear me now?!

  8. Jeremy says:

    This is for what you did to my Brother!

    Someone find me a more comfortable headset!

    Global Defense of the USA, outsourced to Mars! I am a genius!

  9. Alex says:

    1.How are we gonna find Osama if you cant even find a freakin chair for me to sit in!!!
    3.HEY I’m not a n00b ,I’m Joe Biden ,this game sucks!!!

  10. Tim says:

    1) “Mom! Bring me more hot pockets!”

  11. Hammerknight says:

    1.”Hero Machine locking up again, to much masking.”
    2.”I, Jeff Hebert, can create HM3 designs and blog at the same time. Just need more power. HaHaHaHa, evil genius laugh.”
    3.”Pop ups, can’t stop the pop ups.”

  12. Jeremy says:

    Ooops, sorry, please remove my second comment (and this one too) I didn’t fully read the rules.

  13. Oquies says:

    1. Government Special Ops Troll. They will never know what hit them!

    2. Think I am just to white and nerdy.

    3. OMG! I hate spawn killers!!

    That last one might be a bit off color…

  14. Nick Hentschel says:

    A) Why isn’t the new “Doctor Who” on YouTube!?

    B) “Whistle while you work……” (or any other lame, effete song)

    C) I don’t mind working two jobs in this economy, but at the SAME TIME?

  15. SongBird says:

    1. “Who would have ever thought that I, Darth Vader, would ever become president of the United States. Funding for the Death Star is about to EFFIN’ SKYROCKET, BEEYOTCH!”

    2. “Damnit! I could have sworn that I told my assistant to upgrade my graphics card. I’m experiencing too much lag on WoW!”

    3. “I love you, too, SeXXy_WhiteH0useGyrl_4u. You’re always there for me on those cold, lonely nights…”

  16. Matt says:

    1.Damn you Pacman, ya slow yellow &%*@#*!!

    2.Sir, It’s urgent! The Enemy, IamSexy89, is attacking your Paladin sir!

  17. Mr. Q says:

    Microsoft tech support, please hold. Microsoft tech support, please hold…

  18. thor1066 says:

    SPF50 my %$$! I’ll nuke those Tropicana #$%*!$^#!!!

  19. [Mr_Right] Hey, baby, want to meet IRL?
    [Mrs_Left] Sure, W&W?

    Ahahahaha… now this is auto-erotic!

  20. MLS says:

    This is how we kick it Trent Reznor style!

  21. Last entry…

    I’ve done all the calculations. Yet, I still can’t believe it’s not butter!

  22. Worf says:

    1) Mathew Broderick I laugh at thee! I play the REAL War Games!

    2) You DARE to beat ME?!?!?!?! Let’s see you laugh with a nuke dropping on your house! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    3) HA you noob! Head shot!!!

  23. josephl79 says:

    “Let’s see who my skullette dosn’t in spire confidence in Mr. Puttin!”

  24. Superfan1 says:

    1. HAHA! Now, that i can type with two hands at one time…i can get back to saving the country.

    2.Too..many…e-mails. Must…check…them…all.

  25. amathakathi says:

    1. Why, yes – I would like to enlarge it!

    2. Damn you Hillary! Stop kill-stealing!

    3. Now with the CIA, FBI, NSA and FDA at my disposal… let’s find a *working* botox!

  26. Jack Zelger says:

    90% off VIAGRA!

  27. The Doomed Pixel says:

    1) Over Nine Thousand? That can’t be!

  28. Jake says:

    1. This is what I meant when I told Marty that we wouldn’t need roads. God, I love the future.

    (Back to the Future reference to anyone is unaware)

    2. What?! They SUNK our BATTLESHIP!

  29. remy says:

    1. Asshole! I was on a killstreak!
    2. Won’t let me get a nuke in the game? Fine. I’ll tactical Nuke all of your houses!

  30. Tim K. says:

    “Porn! Porn! Porn! Dammit Deviantart that’s not what I’m looking for!”

  31. Patrick says:

    Well President Obama, this how Tea Baggers roll!

  32. Tim says:

    2) Michael Bay! Explosions!

  33. Tim says:

    3) “How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us!!

  34. Montana Player says:

    1. Oh my God, my online girlfriend is actually fat bald mid-western man!
    2. Who’s the so call ergonomics expert that set up this work station?!
    3. Somebody call Bill Gates, I’m getting another damn blue screen of death.

  35. Oquies says:

    So far, in my opinion, this has been the best caption contest I have yet seen. I even had a lot more ideas I wanted to put in.

  36. Ribbet says:


  37. superawesomecoolman says:

    1. Hello, i’d like to order a extra large-super-extra-jumbo-super-size pizza with mushrooms, sausage, pepperoni,extra cheese, red peppers, onions, green- WHAT?!?! YOU FORGOT THE FIRST 3!?!?! I’ll just e-mail the WHOLE order to you then.


    3. where’s the mouse to this thing?

  38. Ben says:

    1. Sell! Sell! Sell! Stock market crash?!
    2. And if you buy now, I can throw in the handy-dandy pocket-sized slicer-dicer for just $5.99. A value of $19.99!
    3. President and world-class internet surfer? Yes we can!

  39. Val says:

    1. Twice the pRon.. muwahahahaha
    2. poke! POKE! POKE!!
    3. damn you demonoid registration.. .ARRRGH!

  40. Gero says:

    1. …And now, using this series of tubes, I’ll shut down the world’s power grids! They’ll all rue the day they laughed in the face of Ted Stephens!

    2. Thanks to my levitating microphone, I can now type with BOTH hands, muhahahaha!

  41. Gero says:

    3. Internet pornography…It’s so horrible, but I…can’t…look…away!

  42. Jake says:

    3. Pwnage.

  43. Tony says:


  44. carew12 says:

    -“Any hot chicks wanna cyber horny 16 male here”
    -2Girls1Cup reaction no#15624

  45. Bael says:

    Fifty million dollars worth of command center, and they cut payroll so I’m working two keyboards and a headset without a chair. Your tax dollars at work, people.

  46. TopHat says:

    1. “One more kill for a Tactical Nuke!”

    2. “MUHAHAHAHAHA! In just a few seconds, everyones Face-Book shall be full of pornography!”

    3. “I, the mighty James Cameron, have turned my attention to conquering the games industry!”.

  47. Rocking_h says:

    1) That is the freakiest thing I have ever saw on YouTube!
    2) “Ctrl-Alt-Del”, aw damn still doesnt work!
    3) Oh yea, high score on Asteroids!

  48. Bael says:

    Oh, please, gods, let it be a drill, and I promise I’ll never play Command and Conquer on the big screen again!

  49. Demetriknighthawk says:

    1)Curse that nigerian prince, eat tactical strike!

    2) cant…stop…watcing…lolcat!

    no, mother, I cant-
    yes I know he is-
    Alright! I’ll give Sen. McCain your number!

  50. Jigglypuff says:

    and I thought Darth Vader was cliche… Bring it on, Cthulhu!

  51. Neon Sequitur says:

    No anchovies this time…and I want it in 30 minutes or I’ll alpha strike your whole restaurant!

  52. NGpm says:

    Of course I’ve rebooted … can I speak to someone else?

  53. Gargoyle323 says:

    When I win this caption contest I can finally get Depends added to the Male-Legware section!!!

  54. Gargoyle323 says:

    Whadda ya’ mean I can only vote five times for my favorite “American Idol” ?

  55. Logan says:

    Spawn more Overlords?! Spawn my foot in your ass!!

    …and a case of Code Red Mountain DEW!!

    Christ… Now there’s just a blue screen.

  56. Gargoyle323 says:


  57. Danny Beaty says:

    1. Would you like fries with that?

    2. Hey EX-boss! A Nigerian king just left me ten million dollars, so SCREW YOU! Why are you laughing?

    3. What the hell is “buffering”?

  58. Ghost says:

    1. “The Lich King is no match for the President of the united states!”

    2. “Leeeeroy Jenkins!!!!!”

    3. “Delete my Cookies??? But I want my cookies!”

  59. Nancy says:

    1. I want that Chia Pet!! eBay makes me insane!

    2. Come on resume – this job sucks – now PRINT!

    3. Global Defense of America, how may I help you?

  60. Army of Darkness says:

    1.It’s time to suck on a nuke, France!!!
    2.Now that Vista is installed on this Global Defense Computer, the world will be mine!!
    3.Sighhh… 8 years at Harvard studying computers and I end up managing the president’s Facebook account.

  61. PCFDPGrey says:

    1. Not only am I a member of the Hair-Club for men; I’m the President!”

    2. It’s all about the Pentiums, Baby!

    3. Next up on American Bandstand, is Groovy Ghoulies by those meddling kids and their dog too, known collectively as Mystery, Inc.

  62. Niall Mor says:

    Once the judges see this video, I’ll be the new keyboard player for Styx for sure!

  63. Kibbles says:

    Dang Martian Blue, I saw that picture and saw just the same thing, Leerrroyyy Jenkinssss. My votes on you.

  64. Matt says:

    “Sir, three people have replied to your secret post on that dating site!… What do you mean shut up you idiot?

  65. Frankie says:

    “When are you going to start work on Heromachine 50? When are you going to start work on Heromachine 50? I told you. I won’t be able to get to it until after World War 5!”

  66. Frankie says:

    “Mom! Can you come down here? I can’t find my mouse.”

  67. Frankie says:

    “Jeesus! That’s one ugly MoFo. Man!…Oh, that’s MY webcam.”

  68. Christian says:

    1) Where the hell is Waldo?!?!?!

  69. TheNate says:

    “Spider-fingers, spider-fingers, do whatever spider-fingers do.”

  70. TheNate says:

    Must type faster! Wikipedia doesn’t edit itself!

  71. TJ says:

    In Paul Shaffer (Late Night w/ David Letterman)voice sings HAIL TO THE CHIEF! HAIL TO THE CHIEF!HAIL HAIL HAIL To the chief!

  72. Alexander says:

    1. Whats the red button do?
    2. YES! I hacked the presidents facebook.
    3. Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order.

  73. Christian says:

    2) What do you mean I’m fired?! Fine! Say goodbye to Florida!

    3) Whaa?? You’re Gamestop! How can you NOT have Battle Toads?!

  74. @Jeff: You opened a big can of too much funny!

    @Danny B #57, 3… Packets! (intern, LLA-humor.. TTY…)

  75. Ky2030 says:

    “My God, a batman original for 40c…BID BID”

    “Oh no my apps must get to them before they spoil”

  76. Jericho says:

    1. And now, for more TALES FROM THE CRYPT!
    2. Mr. Anderson, after all these years, what with the whole “human-machine alliance” you put in place, I’ve FINALLY got you!
    3. YES! I finally found the codes for the elusive and rare shark and penguin Facebook emoticons!

  77. Rick says:

    1. How do I feel? GGGGGGRRRREAT!
    2. Ma! Don’t Text me when I’m riding the wave!
    3. Bid! Bid! Papa needs a stinkin’ chair!

  78. Danny Beaty says:

    @Atomic Punk: About comment 74, I have no idea what you said to me. I hope it was good.

  79. kyle says:

    here’s Biden!

  80. SneakySpade says:

    1. I…declare him…to be an OUTLAW!!!

    2. …and then the other muffin said, “Holy crap! A talking muffin!”

    3. Now i can pretend to do TWICE as much work!

  81. Taylor says:

    What?! Justin Bieber tickets sold out!

  82. Aaron says:

    1)You may have already won 20 million….hello?

    2)Stop Calling me. Damn telemarketers.

    3)This isn’t what I meant when I said I wanted to enlarge my zucchini!!!!1

  83. Blue Blazer says:

    1) I was just calling today to ask if you’re satisfied with your current long distance provider.
    2) Sir, have you tried plugging your computer in? All right, how about pushing the Power button?
    3)Hey Nancy, it’s been a while. Listen…this is really embarrassing, but I just found out I have mouth herpes, and I wouldn’t feel right not calling and letting you know.

  84. Jack Zelger says:

    1. “PC load letter”? What the f*** does that mean?!?

    2. Enter!

    3. The Global Defense rug is a reproduction? Damn you, eBay!!

  85. Jack Zelger says:


  86. PsyckoSama says:

    1) YES! Now, my Beeny Baby collection is COMPLETE!

  87. X-stacy says:

    Well, why’d you answer the PHONE if you’re on the no-call list?!

  88. Khymera says:

    Add 3 inches to my penis size?! Who keeps sending me this crap?!

  89. The Atomic Punk says:

    @Danny Beaty: Geekspeak from back in the dial-up days. LLAs (Local Lan Administrators)

    Geek #1: You buffering?

    Geek #2: Yeah, optimus primed this mo’ fo’ to the full 96-O-O.

    Geek #1: Yo, that’s packets!

    Or, just shorten it to:

    Geek #1: Buffering?

    Geek #2: Yo

    Geek #1: Packets.

    TTY: Talk to ya!

  90. Kibbles says:

    1)What the F*** I didnt even accept that guys fight invite! HOW DID HE KILL ME!
    From South Park

  91. Kibbles says:

    2)Yes I leveled up on Hello Kitty Super Adventure Island! Now no one can stop me!!!!!!

  92. CJ1116 says:

    Stupid pop-ups! I will nuke you! I swear it!
    These noobs are no match for my superior skills!
    Why did you rob me on Mafia Wars you idiot!

  93. Arrgh! HeroMachine froze up on me again! I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!