Caption Contest 62: Last Train to Clarksville

It's that time again, kids, for another Caption Contest! Come up with the best replacement dialog to fill the blank balloon in the panel below and you'll win the chance to choose either a caricature of your face (or someone else you know), or any item you choose, to be included in HeroMachine 3.

All entries must be made in the comments to this post, and you can only enter up to three times. Also, please keep it relatively clean. I'll choose a winner next Tuesday, so until then, good luck! Here's your panel:


Thanks to Friend of HeroMachine John for the initial panel suggestion. Now make with the funny!

(Image and character © DC Comics, Inc.)

78 Responses to Caption Contest 62: Last Train to Clarksville

  1. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    Have fun at Hogwarts!

  2. Avatar Gero says:

    NOW who’s more powerful, huh?


    And people wonder how I always arrive in time to save the day…


    Make the trains run on time NOW, Mussolini!

  3. Avatar Whit says:

    Crap, I forgot! I’m *faster* than a locomotive, not *stronger*!

  4. Avatar Jeff Hebert says:

    Wow, three very strong entries to start off, well done!

  5. Avatar remy says:

    1. X-games….train style!

    2. People say I’m more powerful than a locomotive; however, I just find “loopholes” in the system.

    3. (as superboy)This ramp will get the train from this remote place to it’s final destination! I hope I get a good grade on my science fair project!

  6. Avatar Rick says:

    1. Choo Choo Kachoo
    2. But can you fly?
    3. Superman HUNGRY!

  7. Avatar Ian says:

    1. So he wants me to floss, huh?
    2. I think you’re coming in a little high, man…
    3. I saw this in a Michael Bay movie once!

  8. Avatar knight1192a says:

    “I thought they said they’d wait till I was done laying the track.”

    “Ok Mr. Knieve, all set. Jump that train!”

    “These idiots think I’m really Kal-El. Wait till they learn I’m his twin.”

  9. Avatar SongBird says:

    1. See? You TWO can go up, up, and away!
    2. If Lois thinks that she’s leaving and taking the dog, she’s got another thing coming.
    3. Always whining: “SAVE US SUPERMAN!” “Help us SUPERMAN!” Well, Superman says, “Go to HELL!”

  10. Avatar Mike says:

    1. Now, who’s coming round the mountain?

    2. I’ve always wanted to cause a major rail disaster.

    3. The guys at the bugle always said to make my own news.

  11. Avatar Gero says:

    If a train leaves Boston going 135mph and another leaves Bangor going…oh SCREW IT!!


    Thank God this is Bizzaro world, or I’d get in big trouble for this…


    Now that THAT’S settled, where can I find some bullets and a tall building?

    P.S.-Since there appears to be no 3 entry limit on this one, I’m going to keep entering until I run out of ideas ^_^

  12. Avatar tristan says:

    1. wait this isnt lex’s train.
    2. teach lois to say no to my preposal!
    3. When my Ma says wait. WAIT!!!

    @mike Superman works for the planet not the bulge

  13. Avatar Mike says:

    Number 3 redone: The guys at the Planet always did say to make my own news.

  14. Avatar Whit says:

    2nd paragraph, first sentence: “All entries must be made in the comments to this post, and you can only enter up to three times.”

  15. Avatar Gero says:


    Ah, missed that. I liked the old rules format a little better. My second set of entries is now up for grabs, have fun!

  16. Avatar Whit says:

    2) It’s the Chattanooga Screw-You!

  17. Avatar dementedtheclown says:

    1) BOOM, Headshot

    2) I always wanted someone to run a train on me.

    3) This is gunna be a bump ride.

  18. Avatar RJ mcd says:

    i’ll show you superdickory

  19. Avatar Tim says:

    1) Alright punch it!

    2) Test of strength in 3…2…1

    3) Argh! Your tickets are overpriced!

  20. Avatar Anarchangel says:

    “Open wide. Here comes the choo choo train. Nom nom nom.”

  21. Avatar Whit says:

    Anarchangel–that one is GREAT!

  22. Avatar Skiriki says:

    “Watch out! There’s a penny on the tracks! I’ll save you!”

    (I loved that Mythbusters ep, FYI…)

  23. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    1. “Tab A into slot B”?


    3. Just kidding!

  24. Avatar TopHat says:

    1. “What are these train tracks doing out he- Oh crap”

    2. ” Damnit! I told them I’d be finished fixing the tracks at 9:30 not 9:15!”


  25. Avatar Jose Inoa says:

    (@Whit #17) BWA-HAH-HA-Haaa!

    [1] Back to Moscow, Traitor Train!

    [2] I’ll meet you at the Police Station!

    [3] No, YOU’RE ridin’ the CRAZY TRAIN!!

  26. Avatar Montana Player says:

    1. Mmmmmm, here comes the buffet
    2. Time to show that Hancock bum how a real man stops a train!
    3. Ya know, this seemed like a good idea on paper….

  27. Avatar Hakoon1 says:

    1) Oh wait, this is the good guy train!

  28. Avatar Hammerknight says:

    “See what happens when you don’t pay your taxes.”
    “Where are the girls from Petticoat Junction at?”

  29. Avatar Bael says:

    1) This time I really will be late to work because I missed the train!

  30. Avatar Soccerchoco says:

    1) Fly my friends, and I’ll meet you there.
    2) My nemesis glued me to this train track… HELP?!
    3) Electric shock… ouch!

  31. Avatar Soccerchoco says:

    @ Whit: Loving your 2nd entry, and I totally agree with u about Anarchangel’s entry! LOL
    @ Anarchangel: Nice one! Made me laugh really hard!

  32. Avatar kyle says:

    1.tonight on jackass
    2. you too can fly superman
    3.dose the r mean rocket

  33. Avatar johny says:

    redo on 33

    1.tonight on jackass
    2. you too can fly like superman
    3.dose the r mean rocket

  34. Avatar kyle says:

    redo on 33

    1.tonight on jackass
    2. you too can fly like superman
    3.dose the r mean rocket

  35. Avatar Al says:

    Not let me go to the North Pole, will ya?

  36. Avatar johny says:

    2.If a train leaves Boston going 156 mph and another leaves Bangor going…oh SCREW IT!!
    3.CRAZY TRAIN anyone?

  37. Avatar Aaron says:

    1) I am the walrus ko-ko-kachoo

    2)April Fools!!!!!!

    2)This is Sparta!!!!!!!!!

  38. Avatar Loki says:


  39. Avatar bgh2 says:

    “Maybe I should have waited till the train passed.”

  40. Avatar Sol-leks says:

    bet this will make em piss their pants

  41. Avatar johny says:


    2)crazy train ahhhhhh

    3)dam it when i meant stop i meant stop

  42. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    2) Oh…oh God…did…did you need this?

  43. Avatar lil_Vince says:

    Superman say:
    1: «Watch out to the jump, you will rush on the moon!!!»

    2: «to infinity and beyond»

    3: «Ahhh, it’s a beautiful iron, I need it!»

  44. Avatar Matt says:

    1. What do you mean this ISN’T my model railway?
    2. I’m the only person with a long thing fast as a train!
    3. WAIT! There’s no kitten under here.

  45. Avatar Hakoon1 says:

    2) Where are my Keys?!

  46. Avatar Lawrence says:

    1) This is way more fun than Scalextrics.
    2) Typical, the one time it isn’t late …
    3) Hmmm, are these bear tracks or dear tracks? Uh oh!

  47. Avatar Lawrence says:

    whoops meant deer tracks.

  48. Avatar chase says:

    Right Turn not left GOD!

    Hold on I forget my purse on the train “SWOOSH”

  49. Avatar dementedtheclown says:

    3 Fixxed 3) This is gunna be a bumpy ride.

  50. Avatar Gero says:

    Two of my three accidental second entries are still up for grabs. Looks like someone used the math problem though. It’s Entry 12, if anyone is interested…

  51. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    3)One a’ ‘dese days, Amtrak…to ‘da moon!

  52. Avatar The Grizz says:

    GAH! How did I let Huckleberry Finn talk me into this one??!!

  53. Avatar ninjast4r says:

    Now finally I can get Chuck Norris’ autograph!

  54. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    Liefeld must be stopped!

  55. Avatar Crinold says:

    Where are you now with your funny talk, eh traindriver?

  56. Avatar Nancy says:

    “I think you can, I think you can…”

  57. Avatar Nancy says:

    “Where is Spiderman when I need him?!”

  58. Avatar Nancy says:

    “Hey! This is my old tinker toy set – get off!”

  59. Avatar Patrick says:

    What do you mean this is not the way to rescue a damsel left tied-up on train tracks?

  60. Avatar david says:

    Damn! Looks like I’m getting sued again.

  61. Avatar david says:

    And Aaron, it’s actually goo goo g’joob, I’ve listened to I am the walrus enough times to know that.

  62. Avatar Gero says:

    As long as we’re correcting people, Loki’s entry at post #39 should say “Lois”, not “Louis”. Though now that I think about it, Superman having a love-interest named Louis would be pretty funny…

  63. Avatar Fred says:

    Oh, crap, now how am i supposed to get my coins bent.

  64. Avatar berserker says:

    1.) Blaine the Train is such a pain
    2.) Who keeps ruining these tracks? this is the third time this week I’ve had to fix them and its only monday!!
    3.) Im just pumping iron and this train keeps making me stop!

  65. Avatar Gero says:


    Nice Dark Tower reference! Best. Series. Ever.

  66. Avatar Hakoon1 says:

    3) Ooooh, I was meant to let you kill the innocent citizen, leaving me to drown in guilt and the eventual destruction of Superman! I suppose I should put this down then.

  67. Avatar Frankie says:

    “I’m terribly sorry. But Lois wants a life size train set around the church for our wedding.”

  68. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Whew. That was close. I almost got hit by a train and I’m not wearing any clean underwear.”

  69. Avatar sabetoonth says:


  70. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Stay calm folks. You came from the wrong side of the tracks. Give me a minute, and I’ll flip them over.”

  71. Avatar david says:

    2.) That’ll teach them to charge $15.00 per ticket!

  72. Avatar Bixlord says:

    1) After the Elton John incident, I assumed people would stop trying to run a train on my face.

    2) Six Flags can suck it, this is a way better Superman ride.

    3) That little girl will pay for taking me to court.

  73. Avatar Xstacy says:

    Hovertrain goes whiiirrrr
    …not funny?

  74. Avatar berserker says:

    was wondering if anyone would get the reference

  75. Avatar Mad V says:


  76. Avatar Gero says:

    Well, considering I have all 7 books (not to mention everything else King ever published), and all the comics that are out so far, not that hard to imagine…

  77. Avatar JWMan says:

    1. I’m so baked right now.

    2. Recession-proofing myself.

    3. Top this Kanye!