Caption Contest 62: Last Train to Clarksville

It's that time again, kids, for another Caption Contest! Come up with the best replacement dialog to fill the blank balloon in the panel below and you'll win the chance to choose either a caricature of your face (or someone else you know), or any item you choose, to be included in HeroMachine 3.

All entries must be made in the comments to this post, and you can only enter up to three times. Also, please keep it relatively clean. I'll choose a winner next Tuesday, so until then, good luck! Here's your panel:


Thanks to Friend of HeroMachine John for the initial panel suggestion. Now make with the funny!

(Image and character © DC Comics, Inc.)

78 Responses to Caption Contest 62: Last Train to Clarksville

  1. Have fun at Hogwarts!

  2. NOW who’s more powerful, huh?


    And people wonder how I always arrive in time to save the day…


    Make the trains run on time NOW, Mussolini!

  3. Crap, I forgot! I’m *faster* than a locomotive, not *stronger*!

  4. Wow, three very strong entries to start off, well done!

  5. 1. X-games….train style!

    2. People say I’m more powerful than a locomotive; however, I just find “loopholes” in the system.

    3. (as superboy)This ramp will get the train from this remote place to it’s final destination! I hope I get a good grade on my science fair project!

  6. 1. Choo Choo Kachoo
    2. But can you fly?
    3. Superman HUNGRY!

  7. 1. So he wants me to floss, huh?
    2. I think you’re coming in a little high, man…
    3. I saw this in a Michael Bay movie once!

  8. “I thought they said they’d wait till I was done laying the track.”

    “Ok Mr. Knieve, all set. Jump that train!”

    “These idiots think I’m really Kal-El. Wait till they learn I’m his twin.”

  9. 1. See? You TWO can go up, up, and away!
    2. If Lois thinks that she’s leaving and taking the dog, she’s got another thing coming.
    3. Always whining: “SAVE US SUPERMAN!” “Help us SUPERMAN!” Well, Superman says, “Go to HELL!”

  10. 1. Now, who’s coming round the mountain?

    2. I’ve always wanted to cause a major rail disaster.

    3. The guys at the bugle always said to make my own news.

  11. If a train leaves Boston going 135mph and another leaves Bangor going…oh SCREW IT!!


    Thank God this is Bizzaro world, or I’d get in big trouble for this…


    Now that THAT’S settled, where can I find some bullets and a tall building?

    P.S.-Since there appears to be no 3 entry limit on this one, I’m going to keep entering until I run out of ideas ^_^

  12. 1. wait this isnt lex’s train.
    2. teach lois to say no to my preposal!
    3. When my Ma says wait. WAIT!!!

    @mike Superman works for the planet not the bulge

  13. Number 3 redone: The guys at the Planet always did say to make my own news.

  14. Gero:
    2nd paragraph, first sentence: “All entries must be made in the comments to this post, and you can only enter up to three times.”

  15. @whit

    Ah, missed that. I liked the old rules format a little better. My second set of entries is now up for grabs, have fun!

  16. 2) It’s the Chattanooga Screw-You!

  17. Avatar dementedtheclown

    1) BOOM, Headshot

    2) I always wanted someone to run a train on me.

    3) This is gunna be a bump ride.

  18. i’ll show you superdickory

  19. 1) Alright punch it!

    2) Test of strength in 3…2…1

    3) Argh! Your tickets are overpriced!

  20. “Open wide. Here comes the choo choo train. Nom nom nom.”

  21. Anarchangel–that one is GREAT!

  22. “Watch out! There’s a penny on the tracks! I’ll save you!”

    (I loved that Mythbusters ep, FYI…)

  23. 1. “Tab A into slot B”?


    3. Just kidding!

  24. 1. “What are these train tracks doing out he- Oh crap”

    2. ” Damnit! I told them I’d be finished fixing the tracks at 9:30 not 9:15!”


  25. (@Whit #17) BWA-HAH-HA-Haaa!

    [1] Back to Moscow, Traitor Train!

    [2] I’ll meet you at the Police Station!

    [3] No, YOU’RE ridin’ the CRAZY TRAIN!!

  26. Avatar Montana Player

    1. Mmmmmm, here comes the buffet
    2. Time to show that Hancock bum how a real man stops a train!
    3. Ya know, this seemed like a good idea on paper….

  27. 1) Oh wait, this is the good guy train!

  28. “See what happens when you don’t pay your taxes.”
    “Where are the girls from Petticoat Junction at?”

  29. 1) This time I really will be late to work because I missed the train!

  30. 1) Fly my friends, and I’ll meet you there.
    2) My nemesis glued me to this train track… HELP?!
    3) Electric shock… ouch!

  31. @ Whit: Loving your 2nd entry, and I totally agree with u about Anarchangel’s entry! LOL
    @ Anarchangel: Nice one! Made me laugh really hard!

  32. 1.tonight on jackass
    2. you too can fly superman
    3.dose the r mean rocket

  33. redo on 33

    1.tonight on jackass
    2. you too can fly like superman
    3.dose the r mean rocket

  34. redo on 33

    1.tonight on jackass
    2. you too can fly like superman
    3.dose the r mean rocket

  35. Not let me go to the North Pole, will ya?

  36. 1.BWA-HAH-HA-Haaa!
    2.If a train leaves Boston going 156 mph and another leaves Bangor going…oh SCREW IT!!
    3.CRAZY TRAIN anyone?

  37. 1) I am the walrus ko-ko-kachoo

    2)April Fools!!!!!!

    2)This is Sparta!!!!!!!!!


  39. “Maybe I should have waited till the train passed.”

  40. bet this will make em piss their pants

  41. 1)BWA-HAH-HA-Haaa!

    2)crazy train ahhhhhh

    3)dam it when i meant stop i meant stop

  42. 2) Oh…oh God…did…did you need this?

  43. Superman say:
    1: «Watch out to the jump, you will rush on the moon!!!»

    2: «to infinity and beyond»

    3: «Ahhh, it’s a beautiful iron, I need it!»

  44. 1. What do you mean this ISN’T my model railway?
    2. I’m the only person with a long thing fast as a train!
    3. WAIT! There’s no kitten under here.

  45. 2) Where are my Keys?!

  46. 1) This is way more fun than Scalextrics.
    2) Typical, the one time it isn’t late …
    3) Hmmm, are these bear tracks or dear tracks? Uh oh!

  47. whoops meant deer tracks.

  48. Right Turn not left GOD!

    Hold on I forget my purse on the train “SWOOSH”

  49. Avatar dementedtheclown

    3 Fixxed 3) This is gunna be a bumpy ride.

  50. Two of my three accidental second entries are still up for grabs. Looks like someone used the math problem though. It’s Entry 12, if anyone is interested…

  51. 3)One a’ ‘dese days, Amtrak…to ‘da moon!

  52. GAH! How did I let Huckleberry Finn talk me into this one??!!

  53. Now finally I can get Chuck Norris’ autograph!

  54. Liefeld must be stopped!

  55. Where are you now with your funny talk, eh traindriver?

  56. “I think you can, I think you can…”

  57. “Where is Spiderman when I need him?!”

  58. “Hey! This is my old tinker toy set – get off!”

  59. What do you mean this is not the way to rescue a damsel left tied-up on train tracks?

  60. Damn! Looks like I’m getting sued again.

  61. And Aaron, it’s actually goo goo g’joob, I’ve listened to I am the walrus enough times to know that.

  62. As long as we’re correcting people, Loki’s entry at post #39 should say “Lois”, not “Louis”. Though now that I think about it, Superman having a love-interest named Louis would be pretty funny…

  63. Oh, crap, now how am i supposed to get my coins bent.

  64. 1.) Blaine the Train is such a pain
    2.) Who keeps ruining these tracks? this is the third time this week I’ve had to fix them and its only monday!!
    3.) Im just pumping iron and this train keeps making me stop!

  65. @Berserker

    Nice Dark Tower reference! Best. Series. Ever.

  66. 3) Ooooh, I was meant to let you kill the innocent citizen, leaving me to drown in guilt and the eventual destruction of Superman! I suppose I should put this down then.

  67. “I’m terribly sorry. But Lois wants a life size train set around the church for our wedding.”

  68. “Whew. That was close. I almost got hit by a train and I’m not wearing any clean underwear.”


  70. “Stay calm folks. You came from the wrong side of the tracks. Give me a minute, and I’ll flip them over.”

  71. 2.) That’ll teach them to charge $15.00 per ticket!

  72. 1) After the Elton John incident, I assumed people would stop trying to run a train on my face.

    2) Six Flags can suck it, this is a way better Superman ride.

    3) That little girl will pay for taking me to court.

  73. Hovertrain goes whiiirrrr
    …not funny?

  74. was wondering if anyone would get the reference

  75. GET IN MY BELLY!!!

  76. Well, considering I have all 7 books (not to mention everything else King ever published), and all the comics that are out so far, not that hard to imagine…

  77. 1. I’m so baked right now.

    2. Recession-proofing myself.

    3. Top this Kanye!