Caption Contest 48: BRAM!

I wanted to do a caption contest with a big ol' onomontoPOWia, so here you go! Come up with the best replacement dialog for this panel and you'll win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason):


The rules are simple: No more than three entries per person; all entries must be left in the comments to this post; and try to keep it clean (appropriate for late-night TV). You have one week, the winner will be chosen and announced next Tuesday.

Good luck everyone!

75 Responses to Caption Contest 48: BRAM!

  1. Avatar amathakathi says:

    1. ZZTop couldn’t make it so I…

    2. Ahh! That kick made my ankle swell up!

    3. You damn kids get off my lawn!

  2. Avatar Xstacy says:

    Ya gotta stomp these nonsense words before they breed.

  3. Avatar hookman says:

    I’m sorry Bram but there can be only one ridiculous thing in this panel and thats me!

  4. Avatar Danny Beaty says:

    1. MY NAME AIN’T “BRAM”!



  5. Avatar Runt82 says:

    1) It was supposed to be BATTERING RAM, but there wasn’t much space left after my gigantic foot.

  6. Avatar Runt82 says:

    2) Damn those banana peels!

    3) There’s two scoops of pain in Kellog’s Raisin Bram.

  7. Avatar Runt82 says:

    EDIT: Kellog’s should be Kellogg’s

  8. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    Trick or Treat! Smell my–Oh, what the hell!

  9. Avatar Jose Inoa says:

    [*Not an entry] #3 is awesome, Runt82!! πŸ™‚

  10. Avatar bgh2 says:

    Yes, that’s my foot!

  11. Avatar Joshua says:

    1). Here’s a lil’ bit of “sole” for you, Dracula!

  12. Avatar DJ says:

    1.Time too kick ass and chew bubblegum… and im all outta gum


    3.”It’s NERF or nothing!”

  13. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    You want me to f***in trash your lights? Then why are you trashin my scene?

    Sorry, probably not appropriate, but it had to done

  14. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:

    Cool hair, tough as heck, and every bit as racist. Don’t mess with the Dog 2.0

  15. Avatar Ballin' Boy says:


  16. Avatar D says:

    I know what you’re thinkin’. Did I wipe my feet before I kicked your door down. Well, did ya, punk?

    One small step for Bram, one giant leap for Bramkind!

    Someone get this word outta my way! It’s blockin’ ma dramatic entrance!

  17. Avatar Frankie says:

    “Cut, cut, cut! You cue the BRAM! when I fire the gun, not when I kick the door.”

  18. Avatar John says:

    *THIS* is a left foot!

  19. Avatar Frankie says:

    “I’ve jsut escaped Liefeld’s “artistic” clutches and I need a real background STAT.”

  20. Avatar Frankie says:

    “What? !MARB…?? What does that mean?”

  21. Avatar The Grizz says:

    Chuck Norris, I AM YOUR FATHER!!!

  22. Avatar The Doomed Pixel says:

    1) Set phasers to “nonsensical noises”!

  23. Avatar Whit says:

    1) Stoker’s Dracula!

  24. Avatar Whit says:

    2) Look out, I’ve got an unnecessary pouch in my sights!

  25. Avatar Hootscheese says:

    “Do you know what I mean, Vern?”

  26. Avatar miggo says:

    1) POW! POW! POW!
    2) Here comes.. PINKY! [<- pls color PINKY pink and bold πŸ˜‰ ]

  27. Avatar miggo says:

    Thought of a third one:
    3) I brought you a cookie.. but I eated it!

  28. Avatar Rick says:

    1. “Say hello to my lil’ friend!”

    2. “I got ya Wolverine, right here!”

    3. “These boots were made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do…”

  29. Blue Blazer Blue Blazer says:

    1. The pouch has attached itself to my boot!
    2. My gun must’ve been made in China.
    3. I am NOT Dale Earnheardt!

  30. Avatar Fishpants says:

    1. Now I gonna brast you!
    2. That Bram Stoker was a bad mutha–
    3. Wow, I gotta change my boot ringtone.

  31. Avatar Bael says:

    1) Landshark!

    2) Room Service! Who ordered the butt kicking?

  32. Avatar Ed H says:

    1) Uck Uck Uck! Great balls o’ fire, and bodacious!


    2)…Stoker’s Dracula, coming soon to a theater near you!

    3) I can get off ONE GOOD SHOT before I FALL FLAT ON MY ASS!

  33. Avatar Lies and Perfidy says:

    “I said, PLAY FREEBIRD!”

  34. Avatar Chuckles says:

    Hi Mom…I’m Home.

  35. Avatar Chuckles says:

    Quit playing Mannilow!

  36. Avatar Hootscheese says:

    “i already told you girl scouts, no samoas no deal!”

  37. Avatar Gus says:

    “taste my strange gun! it shoots colored plastic balls!!”


    “not a head-shot, but a left kidney shot”

    Oh man the last one was a shit…i know that

  38. Avatar Rendu says:


  39. Avatar Cavalier says:

    “Don’t mock the boot purse!”

  40. Vengeance Vengeance says:

    Whoa is that freedom rock ???

    Whoa don’t eat the brown acid!

    Old Hippie Power

  41. Avatar Loki says:




  42. Avatar Niall Mor says:

    For the last time! These are NOT Doc Martens! See?

  43. Avatar TheNate says:

    Here’s Johnny… Doctor Johnny Fever.

    It is not a mullet!

    Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?

  44. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    1. “Liefield?! Drop that pencil! Herbert says hello.”

  45. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    WHile I think of more entires – respects to John for “THIS! is a left foot.” – awesome.

  46. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    2. “YOU! Straighten my panel frame NOW!”

  47. Avatar anjin says:

    1. a lam ding dong!

  48. Avatar HalLoweEn JacK says:

    3. “This is Avon calling, bitch.”

    (Is ‘bitch’ within the censorship restrictions? if not, please replace it with ‘scumbag’)

  49. Avatar Damien says:

    1] Get ready for a George Carlin SMACKDOWN!
    2] Do these boots make me look fat? DO THEY!?
    3] Redneck Demolitions! We…oops, wrong address. Sorry.

  50. Avatar David says:

    Bram?! BRAM?! That’s the best sound effect he can come up with? Darn you Leifeld, darn you!

  51. Avatar David says:

    Oh no! I forgot to hide my feet!

  52. Avatar Steve says:

    1. (whistling) I called the witch doctor…

    2. (singing) I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts…

    3. I told you its NOT delivery!

  53. Avatar Cory says:

    1. (Monty Python Reference) “…Its…”

    2. I believe you have my friend’s stapler. The red one.

    3. I’ll take the #4, hold the pickles, extra mayo.

    (im really surprised that THIS IS SPARTA! hasnt been used, and Id use it..if I wasnt pretty sure it’d be seen as unimaginative)

  54. Avatar Level says:

    1 It’s me, Young Stan Lee.
    2 Does this boot make my foot look big?

  55. Avatar Jester says:

    1. How’s that fer Chuck Norris?

    2. Yeah, that’s right, Liefeld. It’s a foot. Now, take it!

  56. Avatar deadeas says:

    Did I get the gum off my shoe?

  57. Avatar Timespike says:

    Pizza delivery!

  58. Avatar David says:

    Hold it! your under arrest, you have the right to remain- oh, sorry! Wring house!

  59. Avatar David says:

    Edit: ‘Wring’ should be Wrong.

  60. Avatar Hootscheese says:

    “you’ve been served, here’s you’re citation”

  61. Avatar ninjast4r says:

    “Now that I’ve got your attention, let’s talk about your long-distance calling plan!!!”


    “Where’s your bathroom? This BRAM muffin went right through me!!!”

  62. Avatar Uncle Ben says:

    “And BRANG, you’re dead.”

  63. Avatar ZOrbas th- OH YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW!!! says:

    1. WHERE’S THE RENT!!!!!



  64. Avatar Zorbas th- OH YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW!!! says:

    My WHERE’S THE RENT comment was based off the “Pearl” vids by Will Ferrel.

  65. Avatar Solander says:

    1. “We need more napkins…I’m really hungry,”

    2. “Wake up, wake up! Tomorrow is today and today is yesterday!”

    3. “This boot is so clean you could comb your hair off it!”

  66. Avatar James says:

    1. Oh YEAH! (Kool-aid man)

    2. Leggo my eggo!

    3. Can I interest you in some dictionaries?

  67. Avatar Timespike says:

    Caaable guy!

  68. Avatar Socrates says:

    1. Don’t mess with the Dog, bra!

  69. Avatar Ronin Kai says:

    #1: ( Caption “Bram” equals some one scream big guys name ) “Hey luci i am home!”

    ( yeah i know not original but still funny )

    #2: ( back panel wall thingy falls to make the “Bram noise” ) “First bad are now bad scenery from Leifeld what next, bad …. never mind its all bad.”

    #2: “Hear that? that’s my boot, its worse then this here gun”

  70. Avatar Excession says:

    All I’ve got is a bad pun.

    1. “Stop or I’ll Shoe-t!”

  71. Avatar Jeff Hebert says:

    @Excession: There are no bad puns. Or all puns are bad, one or the other.

  72. Avatar Mask says:

    1. Crackers!
    2. Not if my head of gorgeous blonde hair has anything to say about it!
    3. Get out of my tool shed!

  73. Avatar David says:

    Lets see, I’ve got a nice big grimace, bolbous muscles, and lots of pouches, what’s missing? Oh ***** I forgot to hide my feet!

  74. Avatar cory gene says:

    do these boots go with this gun

  75. Avatar Marcus says:

    HELLO SIR! May i interest you in this nice barcode scanner?