I don't know if I find his stance, distended crotch, Eighties headband, or power-dump expression the most disturbing, but he's all yours now:

Come up with the best dialog for the missing balloon and you’ll win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like from professional artist Jeff Hebert! I've put this panel up before with the actual dialog, but I am pretty sure you can come up with something better than the original writer.
As always, no more than three entries, left in the comments to this post, and keep it relatively clean. Good luck everyone!
INVISIBLE BIKES!
No it’s LEEROY JENKINS!!!!!! At least I still got chicken.
No in the last caption contest it was this pose.
OOOWWWWW do you smell it too!!
Awww, COME ON! We lose EVERY YEAR!
1. Get Ready for my fastballs special!
2. Woooo! I’m a gas baby!
3. Behold my mighty… uh, shield!
SOOPAH MUSHROOM!
SO NOT FAIR! HE CHEATED!
DIE ANT DIE!!!!
SHUT UP! THE ARMLESS TRENCH COAT SO DOES KICK ASS!
1. I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky!
2. IN THE NAME OF CROTCH PAD!
Look ma, no hands!
1) COWABUNGA!
2) MOMMY!!!!!A SPIDER!!!!
Man, I shouldn’t have had that burrito.
1. What do you mean, I look like Michael Pare?
2. I taught Steven Tyler everything he knows!
3. That’s MY loofah!
1. Ok team, 3…2…1… GRIMACE!
2. My anus is bleeding!
3. SPOON!
1) Major Hernia!
Eeek! A mouse!
Gimmie a piggyback ride!
Engage Fart Boosters!
1)Shut up! My mum thinks I’m freakin’ awesome!!
2)WHAT did you say about my eighties headband!??
3)I can’t stand these stupid mosquitoes!!
Put your right foot in and shake it all about…
Madness you say? THIS. IS. AMERICA!
La Cucaracha, my mortal enemy, at last you die!
2) Okay, three more, feel the burn!
3) And for my next trick, I’ll sit on this guy’s head!
Chairhead, Myhairisburning, Charge!
Punkman team assemble!
Not if the X-treem Kang has anything to say about it!
1. MUFFINS!!!
2. Invisible skis, FTW!
AVENGERS PULL MY FINGER!
1) Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!
2)Waaah! I wanna icecream!
3) C’mon, Rob! You can do eet!
I’m a shoo-in to play Cap in First Avenger!
YOU TOLD THE PANTS WEREN’T GOING TO SHRINK IN THE WASHER¡
go! team!
arahhhhhhh
cowabunga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Ah, Ah, Ah, I’m Staying Alive!
2. I’m beating you in the Jerk Hurdle, Firehead!
3. WhEEEEEEEEE!!!
“We’re gonna party like it’s 1985.”
1.Take THIS Jeff Hebert for making fun me in rhat patriot contest!!!
2. MONTAZUMA IS TAKING—–REEEEVEEEENG!!!
3. KAAAAAAAAAA-(takes breath)-AAAAAAAAAAAHN
1.Take THIS Jeff Hebert for making fun me in rhat patriot contest!!!
2. MONTAZUMA IS TAKING—–REEEEVEEEENG!!!
3. KAAAAAAAAAA-(takes breath)-AAAAAAAAAAAHN
1. Alright gang! Now, Plié, Plié, Plié!
2. Alright, I killed Captain America for the costume and Ryu for the headband… And I’m glad to see you got into the spirit by getting the Green Lantern’s costume, Inexplicably-head-on-fire Girl!
3. Gaaaawd that felt good!
By the way, feel free to chop down #2 to the finest elements. It’s a tad lengthy. 🙂
1. Quick run before the gas gets you!
2. Never insult the hair!
3. Take that! You – Damn it I followed through.
1. How do the assless pants look from back there, Steve?
2. You guys! Get OFF my freakin’ TRAMPOLINE!
3. Yow! These tights are chafing around the Mason-Dixon line!
“Sweatin’ to the Oldies,” My Ass! What’s Simmons got that I ain’t got, huh?
This is THE LAST time I buy a Richard Simmons exercise video!
HOLY CRAP ITS ASHTON KUTCHER!
1. Ow! One power leap thrust too many!
2. Truth be told, half my courage comes from keeping my eyes shut…
3. Jump in the line! Rock your body on time!
OK! OK! Your telekinetic atomic wedgie counts as a super power!
Come on every body. It’s dancing time.
1. Invisible Pegasus, awaaaaaaaayyyy!
2. Soylent Green is people!
3. Christ, I think I pulled something!
1.) HUZZAH! The feast has arrived!
2.) Bootleg Captain America, AWAY!
Awww, might as well JUMP!
“If you think that’s big, wait till you see George Clooney’s codpiece.
Beat this Richard Simmons
Look out below! It’s comin’ out HOT!
FAME!!!!I’m gonna live forever…
1. MARVEL REJECTS ASS-EMBLE!!!
2. LET’S SHOW THESE SPARTANS WHAT AMBIGUOUSLY GAY REALLY IS ABOUT!!
3. YAY! THEY ACTUALLY PUBLISHED ME!!!
1. MY GOD! I can’t move. I’m trapped in a caption contest!
2. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
3. Run! Its the one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple, rip-off eater!
1. “Only if Ron Jeremy could see me now!!!”
2. “I’ll be the catcher and you be the pitcher”
3. “I am what happens when Betsy Ross and John Rambo get together.”
I am American Idol
Captain Obvious Patriot away!
…M-A-L Abysmal
1) So, do I win the worse Captain America impression contest or what?
2) Fart Power!
“Uncle Sam wants YOU!”
RAMBO AIN’T GOT NOTHING ON ME!
1.Looks like Capt. is movin his way out of last place in the 300 meter hurdles!!!Look at him go!!!
2.Come on people i sick of stayin in the 60’s!!!
3.Get to the chopper!!! Swartzneggar style!!!