Caption Contest 38: Power Squat Happy Team JUMP!!

I don't know if I find his stance, distended crotch, Eighties headband, or power-dump expression the most disturbing, but he's all yours now:

guardians-20-major-wang.jpg

Come up with the best dialog for the missing balloon and you’ll win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like from professional artist Jeff Hebert! I've put this panel up before with the actual dialog, but I am pretty sure you can come up with something better than the original writer.

As always, no more than three entries, left in the comments to this post, and keep it relatively clean. Good luck everyone!

60 Responses to Caption Contest 38: Power Squat Happy Team JUMP!!

  1. The Doomed Pixel says:

    INVISIBLE BIKES!

  2. Vengeance says:

    No it’s LEEROY JENKINS!!!!!! At least I still got chicken.

    No in the last caption contest it was this pose.

    OOOWWWWW do you smell it too!!

  3. The Doomed Pixel says:

    Awww, COME ON! We lose EVERY YEAR!

  4. Rick says:

    1. Get Ready for my fastballs special!

    2. Woooo! I’m a gas baby!

    3. Behold my mighty… uh, shield!

  5. The Doomed Pixel says:

    SOOPAH MUSHROOM!

  6. DJ says:

    SO NOT FAIR! HE CHEATED!

    DIE ANT DIE!!!!

  7. DJ says:

    SHUT UP! THE ARMLESS TRENCH COAT SO DOES KICK ASS!

  8. Loki says:

    1. I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky!

    2. IN THE NAME OF CROTCH PAD!

    Look ma, no hands!

  9. Collex says:

    1) COWABUNGA!

  10. Collex says:

    2) MOMMY!!!!!A SPIDER!!!!

  11. jude says:

    Man, I shouldn’t have had that burrito.

  12. The Imp says:

    1. What do you mean, I look like Michael Pare?

    2. I taught Steven Tyler everything he knows!

    3. That’s MY loofah!

  13. HalLoweEn JacK says:

    1. Ok team, 3…2…1… GRIMACE!

  14. HalLoweEn JacK says:

    2. My anus is bleeding!

  15. HalLoweEn JacK says:

    3. SPOON!

  16. Whit says:

    1) Major Hernia!

  17. TheNate says:

    Eeek! A mouse!

  18. TheNate says:

    Gimmie a piggyback ride!

  19. hookman says:

    Engage Fart Boosters!

  20. Darkplanet01 says:

    1)Shut up! My mum thinks I’m freakin’ awesome!!
    2)WHAT did you say about my eighties headband!??
    3)I can’t stand these stupid mosquitoes!!

  21. ATyger says:

    Put your right foot in and shake it all about…

    Madness you say? THIS. IS. AMERICA!

    La Cucaracha, my mortal enemy, at last you die!

  22. Whit says:

    2) Okay, three more, feel the burn!

  23. Whit says:

    3) And for my next trick, I’ll sit on this guy’s head!

  24. The Icedaemon says:

    Chairhead, Myhairisburning, Charge!

    Punkman team assemble!

    Not if the X-treem Kang has anything to say about it!

  25. Jester says:

    1. MUFFINS!!!

    2. Invisible skis, FTW!

  26. Gregg says:

    AVENGERS PULL MY FINGER!

  27. D says:

    1) Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!
    2)Waaah! I wanna icecream!
    3) C’mon, Rob! You can do eet!

  28. Joshua says:

    I’m a shoo-in to play Cap in First Avenger!

  29. pdf says:

    YOU TOLD THE PANTS WEREN’T GOING TO SHRINK IN THE WASHER¡

  30. tristan says:

    go! team!

    arahhhhhhh

    cowabunga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  31. GreenBat says:

    1. Ah, Ah, Ah, I’m Staying Alive!

    2. I’m beating you in the Jerk Hurdle, Firehead!

    3. WhEEEEEEEEE!!!

  32. Frankie says:

    “We’re gonna party like it’s 1985.”

  33. Zorbas The Awesome says:

    1.Take THIS Jeff Hebert for making fun me in rhat patriot contest!!!

    2. MONTAZUMA IS TAKING—–REEEEVEEEENG!!!

    3. KAAAAAAAAAA-(takes breath)-AAAAAAAAAAAHN

  34. Zorbas The Awesome says:

    1.Take THIS Jeff Hebert for making fun me in rhat patriot contest!!!

    2. MONTAZUMA IS TAKING—–REEEEVEEEENG!!!

    3. KAAAAAAAAAA-(takes breath)-AAAAAAAAAAAHN

  35. Meg says:

    1. Alright gang! Now, Plié, Plié, Plié!

    2. Alright, I killed Captain America for the costume and Ryu for the headband… And I’m glad to see you got into the spirit by getting the Green Lantern’s costume, Inexplicably-head-on-fire Girl!

    3. Gaaaawd that felt good!

  36. Meg says:

    By the way, feel free to chop down #2 to the finest elements. It’s a tad lengthy. 🙂

  37. Tinith says:

    1. Quick run before the gas gets you!
    2. Never insult the hair!
    3. Take that! You – Damn it I followed through.

  38. Fishpants says:

    1. How do the assless pants look from back there, Steve?
    2. You guys! Get OFF my freakin’ TRAMPOLINE!
    3. Yow! These tights are chafing around the Mason-Dixon line!

  39. Neil Leslie says:

    “Sweatin’ to the Oldies,” My Ass! What’s Simmons got that I ain’t got, huh?

    This is THE LAST time I buy a Richard Simmons exercise video!

  40. Kade Bathory says:

    HOLY CRAP ITS ASHTON KUTCHER!

  41. C. Yusuf Mumtaz says:

    1. Ow! One power leap thrust too many!

    2. Truth be told, half my courage comes from keeping my eyes shut…

    3. Jump in the line! Rock your body on time!

  42. marx says:

    OK! OK! Your telekinetic atomic wedgie counts as a super power!

  43. Fabien says:

    Come on every body. It’s dancing time.

  44. Blue Blazer says:

    1. Invisible Pegasus, awaaaaaaaayyyy!
    2. Soylent Green is people!
    3. Christ, I think I pulled something!

  45. The Grizz says:

    1.) HUZZAH! The feast has arrived!

    2.) Bootleg Captain America, AWAY!

  46. TheNate says:

    Awww, might as well JUMP!

  47. Frankie says:

    “If you think that’s big, wait till you see George Clooney’s codpiece.

  48. jude says:

    Beat this Richard Simmons

  49. Xstacy says:

    Look out below! It’s comin’ out HOT!

  50. the creator says:

    FAME!!!!I’m gonna live forever…

  51. Tracer says:

    1. MARVEL REJECTS ASS-EMBLE!!!

    2. LET’S SHOW THESE SPARTANS WHAT AMBIGUOUSLY GAY REALLY IS ABOUT!!

    3. YAY! THEY ACTUALLY PUBLISHED ME!!!

  52. Cory says:

    1. MY GOD! I can’t move. I’m trapped in a caption contest!

    2. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    3. Run! Its the one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple, rip-off eater!

  53. Josh says:

    1. “Only if Ron Jeremy could see me now!!!”

    2. “I’ll be the catcher and you be the pitcher”

    3. “I am what happens when Betsy Ross and John Rambo get together.”

  54. Ballin' Boy says:

    I am American Idol

  55. Ballin' Boy says:

    Captain Obvious Patriot away!

  56. Ballin' Boy says:

    …M-A-L Abysmal

  57. Jason says:

    1) So, do I win the worse Captain America impression contest or what?

    2) Fart Power!

  58. “Uncle Sam wants YOU!”

  59. Dave says:

    RAMBO AIN’T GOT NOTHING ON ME!

  60. Brad Carter says:

    1.Looks like Capt. is movin his way out of last place in the 300 meter hurdles!!!Look at him go!!!

    2.Come on people i sick of stayin in the 60’s!!!

    3.Get to the chopper!!! Swartzneggar style!!!