Poll Position: Super stopper

The Poll Position for this week is:

{democracy:57}

Discussion after the jump.

As you might have guessed by now, I like to think about what would happen if well-entrenched characters switched roles somehow, and to puzzle through what I would do if I were in control of sorting it all out. I also love a big slug-fest, which is where the idea for this week’s question came from. I think which answer you pick will say a lot about what you like in comics stories, but for what it’s worth, here’s what I would do.

  1. Batman: The obvious choice, since so many creative types have taken it through the years. But I think it’s been done to death, and frankly I don’t think a completely rational Superman would actually be taken in by Batman for too long. I think Bruce could stretch out the conflict for a while, but I don’t believe he could come through as the ultimate victor. In fact, I suspect that you’d rapidly be unable to tell the difference between Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor.
  2. Dr. Doom: For dramatic monologues and egotistic grandstanding potential alone, I love this. From a practical standpoint (can you use the word practical when talking about super-heroes? I suspect not), Doom not only has the brains, the money, and the tech to make him a legitimate threat, but he also has access to magic, one of Big Blue’s few actual vulnerabilities.
  3. Green Lantern: The case for GL can be summed up in three words: Power ring kryptonite. ‘Nuff said. And I think he could withstand whatever long-range attacks were launched at him as well. I do, however, think back to a random issue from years back, when Superman takes out an alien with one punch who’s pilfered Hal’s ring. Hal’s in disbelief but to Superman it was no big deal. “Nice trinket” I think he says. Granted, this was pre-revamp Superman, but still, it was impressive.
  4. Hulk: Admit it, you’d love to see this done right. The harder he’s hit and the madder he is, the stronger Hulk gets. And Superman can both hit hard and piss people off, so there’s that. Now that I think about it, wasn’t Doomsday just a space-going Hulk clone for all practical purposes?
  5. Magneto: At first I almost didn’t put him on the list because, come on, magnets vs. Man of Steel is threatening only as a metaphor. But Magneto’s a very tough customer, and knows how to use an enemy’s weaknesses against him. At the end of the day, though, I just don’t see him having the power set to hang with Superman.
  6. Metamorpho: I like the odds for a shape-changing dude who can transform his whole body into Kryptonite.
  7. Thor: Dude’s a god, that’s all I’m sayin’. And I would pay cash money to see the scene where Superman melts those big silver helmet wings with his heat vision.
  8. Wolverine: Frankly I only put this in here to titillate the fan-boys. Oops, I did it again by using the word “tit”illate.
  9. Wonder Woman: I don’t honestly think she’s got much of a shot, but I want to see the scene where one or both of them get tied up by the other and forced to tell the truth about stuff. “You like spanking, don’t you? ADMIT IT!!”
  10. Zatanna: This would be a race; could Zatanna conjure up a bunch of super-sonic flying Kryptonite bullets before Superman could kill her at super speed? Discuss.

So given those choices, and having thought it through, with the weight of responsibility solely on my shoulders for stopping what would have to be considered the gravest threat the world had ever seen, I’d probably turn to … Doctor Doom. The only reason he keeps getting his ass kicked by the Fantastic Four is that Reed Richards is smarter than he is, and let’s get real here — Superman isn’t exactly the Albert Einstein of the super-hero set, know what I’m saying? I think he’s the only one on the list with the lack of scruples and vast resources (financial, super-powered, technological, and magical) you’d need for such a monumental task.

But that’s just me, what would you do if the choice were yours?

24 Responses to Poll Position: Super stopper

  1. First choice: Wolverine for the match up of his claws versus Supermans bullet proof skin. Supes would win easily though by flying him into space.

    Second choice: Thor…why? He is a god. Would his powers be counted as magic or what?

    Third Choice: Hulk. All the reasons you stated. Why I would choose him? He could be flown into space and left there.

    Fourth Choice: Metamorpho. Kryptonite vs. Supes= Superman is down for the count. I choose him.

  2. Why not just Lois Lane? I can imagine the scene, Superman is about to win, Lois comes in, and says sommething like, Stop foolin around!!! Get the bins out! It’s trash day tomorow!

    But for the ones in the list, i would pick the hulk, would make one hel of a show. The structural damage would be huge, but still worth seeing the show

  3. Zatanna. Why? Fish. Net. Stockings. Game over.

    (hubba hubba!)

  4. lol I chose Zatanna thinking she could just ship him off to an alternate dimension we need more love for the magic people haha.

  5. Zatanna as Supermans only other weakness is magic

  6. Zatanna because she just tells Superman to peels ot og.

  7. From the list, I would probably choose either Dr. Doom or Hulk.

    Not from the list, I would choose Captain Marvel (DC), having just finished to read the really awesome Kingdom Come story.

  8. I concurred with J. Herbert here. Doom would likely have access to magic and Kryptonite both, sooner or later. Plus, after ending Superdickery, the world might look more favourably upon possible future world dominators.

  9. A ditto here for Doom. If there is a dossier floating out there on Superman, it’ll be a matter of time before Doom gets his metal-mitts on ‘em. Second, being a master of magic and alchemy, he’ll transmogrify something into kryptonite or cast a spell evening the odds. Third, the time-machine. Yeah, the very one he invented one night even while intoxicated on a NyQuil bender (…sue him, even Doom appreciates a medicine that addresses those nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, and fever problems.). In fact, Doom travels through time, finds the infant Kal-El and raises him with unquestioning loyalty to Doom. How’s that to conquer a foe? If Superman were good and pure as we know him, then the JLA would have intervened at Doom’s attempt to corrupt the timeline. But lecherous, greedy, and downright smarmy Supes? His title quickly changes from “The Man of Steel” to “Doom’s Biznitch”. :)

  10. In the first DC/Marvel crossover Dr. Doom DID defeat Superman. No doubt he could do that again. It’s his combination of intelligence, technology, and broad ability. The armor gives him a chance to survive; his science and magic provides ways to defeat him.

    Thor is probably the second choice. He would stand up well physically and possesses much more than just ‘brick’ powers to have even a chance.

    I know Batman is Supe’s quintessential opponent, and he does rank high in regards to brains and tech, but not near the level of others. Superman tolerates Batman, but could defeat him with little trouble.

    In fact, Batman, Metamorpho, Zaratana, and Green Lantern would all need to reply on a first strike for even a chance to win.

    Hulk, Wonder Woman, Wolverine, and Magneto could help set up an attack, but my themselves would not last long.

  11. Two questions:

    1. What’s the chemical composition of kryptonian blood?

    2. Is kryptonite ferromagnetic, paramagnetic, or dimagnetic?

    The answers to these could give Magneto a fighting chance…

  12. Batman, as he already has kryptonite and plans for just such an emergency.

    easy question.

  13. Jeff had me considering Doom and Joshua convinced me. Seriously? A NyQuil-inspired time machine? Nice.

  14. William A. Peterson

    Doom and Zatanna both have the same problem…
    They’re way too slow!
    Doom has that force field, so he might last long enough to pull out a gizmo, IF he’s had a chance to prepare…
    But, if Supes launches a pre-emptive strike, before that can happen, he’s going down!
    Thor’s a good second choice, since Mjolnir IS a Magic Weapon, and he can take a punch…
    but, he really can’t fly fast enough to catch up to Clark.
    His best bet would be the old “Cosmic Vortex” routine, but Supes can manage to dodge Darkseid’s Omega beams, so dodging the old Interdimensional Whirlwind shouldn’t be a problem!
    My money’s on Hal…
    Yeah, in the hands of a complete amateur, with little willpower to call his own, and no knowledge of Supe’s weaknesses, the ring’s nearly useless.
    BUT, Hal has used the ring to best Supes before, and could easily do it again!

  15. William A. Peterson

    Oh, and forgot to mention…
    Metamorpho (to the best of my knowledge) can’t do Kryptonite (isn’t he limited to Earth elements?), and Supes has defeated the Kryptonite Man before, anyways…
    And, he can only alter the elements of his OWN body, not someone else’s, so, no turning Clark’s blood into Kryptonite, or anything of that sort!

  16. From the List I picked the God Of Thunder Myself ,, but I’d like to add two people not on the list for consideration ,, Dr. Strange and Dr. Fate

  17. No, no! Dr. Strangefate!!

  18. Yeah Doctor Strabge an Awesome idea. After all, he knows mor about magic than everybody else, and he is a hero, so you don’t have an ethical problem as with Doom.

    Another question: Is Superman Vulnerable to mind control? If yes, then why not get Professor X to fight him. I see that:

    Prof X: (You are a baby. A gentle little baby…)
    Supes: Gaga.

    Or maybe we could convince the Japanese to lend us their own Superman: Sangoku (from Dragonball)

  19. lissten i know batman is voted the best to fight an evil superman but he has no powers. :-)

  20. Maybe not, but he does have a sizable stock of kryptonite, a good grasp on how Superman reacts to any given threat, and no compunctions at all about hurting his rogue friend.

  21. Oh, he has compunctions. He’s simply man enough to not let them get in his way.

  22. I’m going to say doom. He’s taken down bigger dogs than superman in the past. He’s practically taken over the universe at some point. Doom in all kryptonite armor slinging magic blast would be awesom.

    Batman in an actual all out fight to the death would not last long once it really hit the fan. He’s won because deep down clark let him.

  23. Thor and Batman combined would beat him. Batman’s got the kryptonite, and Thor’s got the muscle and stuff to kick his butt back to that blown up planet

  24. batman stop superman whatever he could not stop the joker