Mashup 6: An expert on the Flush Toilet

If you love randomness and comic books (and let’s face it, if you didn’t you would never have found HeroMachine), you’re in luck, because it’s time for another edition of the Random Monday Mashup! Every week I take one panel from each of ten randomly selected comic books and attempt to forge an entertaining (if not necessarily coherent) story out of them. So sit back and enjoy the ride, as we encounter temptresses, toilet jockeys, space-bound warlocks, and more!


Deep in the halls of the Pentagon, the CIA has uncovered what they think is a sinister plot.

They’re gathering in space …

Little do they know that the space gathering is actually far more sinister than an invasion fleet — it’s an adult goth-themed party!

Welcome to the very halls of death

Unfortunately some pervert brought a kid with a penchant for touching other males to the party, a major buzz-kill for most of the attendees.

Wish I could touch him!

One young party girl is so disgusted she starts to leave, but she has caught the fancy of young Tony Bombast already, who fails to realize that he is using the world’s oldest pickup line.

Have we met before?

Two of the observers are unimpressed with the young lad’s clumsy attempts.

Rump duster. Spit-slinger.

Performance anxiety, coupled with repeated rejections in his past, quickly threaten to overwhelm the hopeful paramour.

Maybe everything that’s happened is making me crazy!
Only the girl’s body before me is not an illusion …

Ego shattered, Tony clutches himself and turns to leave, not realizing that the girl’s body is indeed very much in front of him, now clad in a skimpy negligee and garters — his cheesy pickup line actually worked!

Where ya goin on a night like this

Alas, shooting someone is the last thing poor Tony will be able to manage with that “rod”, as the other party hecklers had planted Ex-lax in the fudge at the catering table …

He’s getting to be an expert on flush toilets!

… with unfortunate results:

Ba-THROOM!

Explosive diarrhea is bad enough, but in space, explosions are really, really bad, and so the adult goth-themed party ends before it could truly begin. As does this edition of the Random Monday Mashup. Hope you enjoyed it! (And isn’t that last panel the greatest onomontoPOWia ever? Who else uses the name of a room in your house as a sound effect? Brilliant!)


Today’s Mashup consisted of the following comics, in order of appearance:

  1. “Harbinger”, Vol. 1, No. 34, ©1994, Voyager Communications, Inc. Very little to go on in this issue for my purposes.
  2. “Ray Bradbury Comics”, Vol. 1, No. 4, ©1993, Topps Comics, Inc.
  3. “Ray Bradbury Comics”, Vol. 1, No. 3, ©1993, Topps Comics, Inc. The first half of this one is mostly text with paintings, and so not suitable for this project, making it a tough one to integrate. The Dinosaur story this image is taken from is pretty good, a grown-up Calvin and Hobbes kind of deal in terms of a boy dreaming of being a dinosaur.
  4. “The Official Marvel No-Prize Book”, Vol. 1, No. 1, ©1982, Marvel Comics Group, Inc. The No-Prize was a recognition given out by Stan Lee to readers who spotted errors in the Marvel line of comics.
  5. “Jack Kirby’s Secret City Saga”, No. 1, ©1993 Jack Kirby. The Secret City Saga was illustrated by Steve Ditko, the man whose distinctive art helped make Spider-Man famous. Unfortunately, Ditko’s style did not translate well at all to this project. In fact, it’s downright bad. I kept wishing Jack Kirby had just drawn the thing himself.
  6. “Jack Kirby’s Secret City Saga”, No. 3, ©1993 Jack Kirby.
  7. “Warlock, Special Edition”, Vol. 1, No. 1, ©1982, Marvel Comics Group. This is some heavy, trippy stuff — vampire-gemmed space wizard battles his own evil soul from the future in an effort to stamp out false gods. Someone was high when they wrote this sucker, but it’s pretty good.
  8. “Noir”, Vol. 2, No. 2, ©1995, Creative Force Productions. A black and white collection of gangster and other pulp fiction, light on illustrations, making it hard for me to work with on this deal.
  9. “Jack Kirby’s Secret City Saga”, No. 2, ©1993 Jack Kirby.
  10. “Jack Kirby’s Secret TeenAgents”, No. 3, ©1993 Jack Kirby.

About Jeff Hebert

Jeff is a 44 year old city boy who has somehow found himself located in Colorado, fulfilling his lifetime dream of making a living drawing super-heroes all day.

6 Responses to Mashup 6: An expert on the Flush Toilet

  1. That has to be the most hilarious Monday Mashup yet! And BA-THROOM! as an OnomotoPOW!a? Add the fact that you mashed up those two individual scenes, not to mention the young lady’s sudden quick-change to seduction outfit #7, gives us an amazing link I wouldn’t think possible. You, Mr. Hebert, are one brilliant fothermucker. Hopefully that quick-change of its own isn’t too racy, but it oughtta be a heck of a follow-up to facegina. Either way, editing my comment or not, just know I appreciate your randomness, sense of humor, and skill at putting-whatever-the-H-E-double-hockey-sticks-together-that-you-can-find, and then making sense of it.

    PS: I had a question, in the downloadable version of 2.5, would it be possible to throw in some of the ommitted items? Of particular interest to me are the Crossbow, Claymore, and larger flail. I think I could live without the severed head, not that that wouldn’t be a nice addition, but that’s the one item I’m not asking “Pretty please with sugar on top?” to be included.

    Whatever way it goes, looking forward to the release!

  2. Thanks Brad!

    As for the other items, I’m not sure. I’m so heartily sick of working on these at this point that the thought of adding yet more makes me want to hurl.

  3. Ashton Jakobson

    These actually make more and more sense everytime you make a new one…

  4. HalLoweEn JacK

    How about a mashup competition? You post a collection of random panels in a set order and see who can come up with the most cohesive and entertaining story…

  5. That’s an interesting idea, Jack, I’ll have to mull that over.

  6. *gasp* You lost your passion for it, Jeff? That doth suck muchly! Hopefully you won’t be too fed up with everything by then. But I imagine it is rather boring and irritating working on the same darned thing for six bodies. Hm, in that case, it would at the very least be possibly refreshing to see some $%&@ing thing different in flash to make six times over at different sizes and positions.