Goldbug, yo!

Goldbug had a problem. He enjoyed running around town in his gangland bandana, but he also wanted to be a super villain. His brilliant solution proved he belonged in the upper echelons of crime -- fashion crime, that is:

The integrated bandana look lets him retain his street cred while still allowing him to wear spandex. Not an easy achievement, believe me.

Even better, this sartorial revolution led to another great innovation, namely patterning your chest to look like you're armored, even if you can't afford armor! It's brilliant. Imagine the intrepid heroic adventurer facing Goldbug for the first time. Assuming he or she can get over their immediate fear of the bandana -- "Will his Crip or Blood mates be jumping me if I stop him?!" -- they still might hesitate wondering if their blows will have any effect against his awesome red-and-gold, "No, it's not an Iron Man ripoff" faux body armor.

The squiggly lines in the arms and calves further serve to confuse the enemy. Is he some sort of gold-meister, or is that lava? Do I wear my asbestos underwear or do I need to rush off and double the guard at Fort Knox? That kind of hesitation can kill you in a super battle if you're not careful.

And so we salute you, Goldbug, and your combination Firestar/Spider-Man Eyes/Iron Man Armor homage. Peace out!