If you’ve ever wondered what the sound of a dismembered vampire arm crashing through a windshield and then reattaching itself is, wonder no more:

Now you’ll be prepared the next time that question comes up in class.

I had to wonder, however, why the vampire in question would want to reattach the arm, since it seems like having a detached limb capable of flying around independently with enough power to smash windshields might be an advantage in a fight. But I rarely battle the forces of evil any more, so what do I know?

Of course, given the vampire’s massive grin and hearty belly laugh, maybe an arm ka-slorping back into place just feels really, really good.

(Image from Vamps, #4, ©1994, DC Comics.)

When the “Iron Man” movie was first announced, I got so excited I put together an image of Robert Downey Junior in the red and gold because I just couldn’t wait to see it for real:

Now that the movie is almost released, I still can’t hardly wait. I don’t usually get too excited about super hero movies, as I usually figure they’re going to suck, but the pending debut of ol’ shell-head has me really pumped. In fact, after the very first teaser trailer came out last year, I put together this image of Iron Man on a motorcycle. With flames. And holding a gun. Why? Because he’s Iron Man, that’s why, now quit asking questions! A nerd in full-on geek mode has nothing to answer for, so nyah.

A friend of mine, Rob Rogers, has written what looks to be a very entertaining super-hero novel called “Devil’s Cape”, and you can now read the first chapter for free at Uberworld! I’ve followed along with a number of Play By eMail Champions campaigns Rob has put together and he’s a great writer. I highly recommend pre-ordering “Devil’s Cape” from Amazon, and/or asking about it at your local comics or book store. It looks to be a great read, and it’s always a good thing to help out a fellow geek. Take a look at the preview chapter and then get busy ordering!

Here’s what comics writer Greg Rucka had to say about “Devil’s Cape”:

There is NO WAY that this is Rob Rogers’s first novel. This is a novel replete with the rewards of a lifetime of training, effort, and passion. Devil’s Cape is a mesmerizing, seductive, and darkly moving piece of fiction that seamlessly, even gracefully, marries tactile reality with myth and magic to bring its own pulsating world to life. Beyond expectations, full of surprises, singing with resonance and emotion, Rogers has written a novel that first stabs the superhero genre in the back, then flips the body over and shocks it back to exhilarating life. What arises from this crime scene is a post-modern delight. Take the tour of Devil’s Cape—I guarantee you’re going to like it here!

Here’s hoping for “Devil’s Cape: The Movie” some time soon, once the novel hits the bestseller list! If you’re looking for a good, gripping, super-hero novel to read during break, you should definitely check it out either via pre-order or once it’s officially released on April 1.

Congratulations to Rob and to publisher Wizards of the Coast (for recognizing a great talent)!

Whoever said you couldn’t mix roller skates, ninjas, and disco was an America-hating fool, that’s what I say, for behold the jaw-dropping awesomeness that is … Skate Man!

Read the rest of this entry »

You can win your very own custom illustration (like this, or this) simply by exercising your wit and humor! In the comments below, enter dialog that should appear for the characters. Keep it suitable for prime time television, make it funny, and just win, baby!

As an example:

Rollerskater1: Yes, I am wearing a disco skating outfit and carrying a purse. Thanks for the directions and …
Rollerskater2: … here’s your tip. Don’t “blow” it all in one place, heh!
Shoe Shine Skater: Thanks!

Good luck everyone!

The winner of Caption Contest 3 is … Leihaha, with a fashion-dominista GL! Leihaha will now get a free custom black and white illustration (within reason), for this witty dialog:

Well done, and many thanks for all the entrants. Caption Contest 4 will be up momentarily if you want a chance to win your very own professional illustration, so sharpen those funny bones.

I’m starting a new feature here on the HeroMachine Blog — a daily Random Panel culled from the pages of the Great Random Comics Horde. I’ll be offering them up with no further explanations, for that perfect amount of mind-spraining Zen you’ve come to expect from me. I hope you enjoy them!