Jonny and I have finished his illustration prize for winning Caption Contest 24, and it’s his own creation called “The Marshall”. Here was Jonny’s description:

I call him the Marshall. Picture super agents meet old west cowboys. Fedora,buckskin jacket,biker boots, and underneath it all is high tech bodyarmor. The Marshall always has a smile on his face no matter the circumstance. Lamb chop sideburns,and Rayban style shades are his hallmark. Standard issue sidearm in a thigh holster ,and if he is expecting trouble a submachine gun completes the kit. The Marshall is a combo of Nick Fury,John Wayne,and James Bond.

I added a toothpick, but it seemed to fit. And while that might be more of a snarl/grimace than a smile, I think it turned out really well:

Don’t miss your chance to win your own custom illustration in Caption Contest 25, going on now!

I’d say that giant space-going chimp blimps that spit lasers — literally — accompanied by the following onomontoPOWia effects are right up there at the top of the Awesome List:

I don’t know about you, but I can never get enough of space monkeys flinging their bodily excretions with a mighty “POOT” or “PTUI”. That’s the kind of thing that makes comics great, my friends.

(Image from “Rocket Raccoon”, Vol. 1, No. 3, ©1985, Marvel Comics Group.)

I’m heading out of town to Louisiana for a wedding (not mine!) today, returning Sunday. I’ve got a number of posts scheduled to go up so by all means check in as usual, but if I’m slow responding to comments, that’s why.

Ten years ago there was no such thing as blogging, and thus the comics from that era were largely free from the kind of scathing mockery that’s so vital a part of our daily lives today. You can find plenty of people online reviewing comic books being published right now, but who will serve the needs of those neglected issues from years gone by?

Me, that’s who!

Each week I’ll take at least a few of the books in the Random Ten and write them up just like the big kids do for comics being published today. For now I’m calling this feature “Retroviews” (retrospective reviews, dontchaknow), and our first victim item on the chopping block review stand from the past is the 1998 DC comic “Haywire”.

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Danny and I have finished his prize for winning Caption Contest 23, “The Battling Patriot”:

Many thanks to Danny for the great direction and concept, I’m very happy with the way this one turned out.

If you want to win your very own custom black and white illustration, head on over to “Caption Contest 25:Clown Town“, going on now!

When it comes to bad super costumes, you can’t limit yourself to just the actual uniform. Weapons count too, which is why I adore “Psychoman” so much:

Granted, he doesn’t look all that bright, so maybe simpler really is better in this case. It certainly cuts down on the size of the decision tree he needs to consider during battle. “Hmm, I’m about to get smacked in the face by The Hulk. Perhaps he needs a generous dose of HATE! No, wait, that would be counter-productive. A healthy bout of self-doubt as to whether his massive green thews can truly smash my orange shiny head? I’m already afraid so that’s out. Decisions, decisions…”

You can tell how confident his secret creator is about Psychoman’s cognitive acumen by the dialog. “Unknown to him, I secretly guided a renegade scientist’s efforts to unlock the enigma of fear.” That’s some enigma there, very difficult to unlock. Now I’m no scientist but I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess you’d press that gigantic button marked “fear” to unlock that particular enigma. I’m surprised they were brave enough to put three buttons on the giant box instead of just one marked “PRESS HERE DUMMY!”

Speaking of which, I love the size of the buttons. There’s nothing worse in the middle of a super battle than to accidentally press the wrong button and enrage the crowd you’re trying to disperse fearfully. Plus, the way he’s holding it, so tenderly, it makes me wonder if there’s not a “Technophile” button on the back of the thing set permanently to “on”. Because you should love your gadgets but don’t, you know, love your gadgets.

(Image from “Dr. Strange, Sorcerer Supreme”, Vol. 1, No. 32, ©1991 Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc.)