Professor Anthrax’s Musty Old Barroom

[Herr D]

[Herr D comes in, sits down, watches bartender a moment, nods, picks up extra tap, attaches to self between third eyestalk and seventh tentacle–the blue one, pours sticky green smoke-like liquid into spare glass. Watches nearest other patron recoil, sighs in subsonic pitch, reabsorbs green stuff.] One Coke no ice, please. What’s a Duke Nukem?

[Prof.Anthrax]

@Herr D said:

What’s a Duke Nukem?

It’s hard to explain… Do they have a term that means “overblown crud” in your native land? That’s a good place to start…

[Herr D]

It’s hard to explain… Do they have a term that means “overblown crud” in your native land? That’s a good place to start…

If I translate it correctly, I think it comes out “type A personality with undeserved credentials, too few useful tentacles, and methane-infused breath.” That about right?

Artist’s block? Heard about it. You could stick with the theme of half-seas and make a band? No wait. Give your centauris an instrument too so they can only play at the shore! Add a squiddy for multiple instruments. Now THAT is a band I’d pay to see play.

[Prof.Anthrax]

Sounds fair enough.
Agh, the well of creativity is running low…

[Herr D]

Artist’s block? Heard about it. You could stick with the theme of half-seas and make a band? No wait. Give your centauris an instrument too so they can only play at the shore! Add a squiddy for multiple instruments. Now THAT is a band I’d pay to see play.

[Herr D]

[Herr D enters and rapidly moves to barstool. Motions bartender over.]
“I hinted to some colleagues that a bunch of half-human, half-sea creatures might hold a benefit called ‘Save The Humans.’ Their manufacturing hardware was limited, but they contributed these [places large package on table] to your prize closet in hopes it would happen.” [opens package to reveal seventeen green left rubber boots each containing three ziploc bags of seawater]
“Let me know the concert date ASAP, right?” [Gestures and makes odd sounds toward martini glass for a moment.] “Rats. I need to practice that dialect, too. Silicate life-form languages are harder for me to pronounce.” [Dashes out.]

[Author]

Posts