Keeping with Dan’s suggestion that we take a look at the worst-dressed moments in this history of the Avengers in the movie, I bring you Thor, God of the G-String!

First, let this serve as a warning to all you budding artists out there that you should never base your drawings on your action figures.

Second, if you can tear your eyes away from that Ken-like monstrosity of a crotch and the giant balloon legs, think about how this outfit works. A normal plunging neckline (for instance, like Luke Cage’s) covers all but the middle of your chest because presumably you want lots of protection from the elements and enemy bullets while still letting the chicks gaze with wonder at your pecs.

To that, Thor says “Nay nay”! Because apparently Thor heard about these things called “G-Strings” and wanted to try them out, only to be thwarted by his articulated nether regions. So he went all atomic wedgie and yanked that sucker over his head.

It’s like a negative-space shirt, covering what ought to be open and opening what ought to be covered. I bet that’s what the giant floating heads behind him are screaming so violently about. “THOR! I CAN SEE YOUR NIPPLES! AND WHY IS YOUR CROTCH THAT? SERIOUSLY BROTHER, YOU SHOULD SEE SOMEONE. LIKE, NOW. AND WHERE IS MY BODY?! I CAN’T STOP SCREAMING, YAAAAAAH!”

(From “Target Comics” number 12, 1941.)

Let’s say instead of random aliens coming through the wormhole in the “Avengers” movie, it was actually the Galactic Empire, led by Darth Vader, fully-functional Death Star and all. In the same scenario as the movie — a fully prepared invasion in force trying to establish a beachhead in Manhattan, opposed by the Avengers — who do you think would come out on top?

Let’s say up front that Vader doesn’t have the same kind of personality quirks and psychological imperatives as Loki. Loki is a trickster, delighting in sowing dissent and discord, preferring to take the back-stabbing approach rather than a more confrontational stance. Mostly.

Vader is arguably more aggressive and willing to fight head-to-head. He’s led massive military efforts before, better fitting the role of general. Plus, while Loki has a mind-control stick, Vader has a light saber.

In terms of the armies at their disposal, it seems like both the Empire and the Chitauri have about the same level of pilot skill. Namely, they can mostly avoid flying directly into solid objects as long as they’re not too distracted. We’re not exactly talking the Red Baron here in either case.

Regardless, you have to admit it would be pretty awesome to see Hawkeye shooting TIE fighters out of the sky, massive AT-ATs wading down Wall Street while the Hulk smashes them to bits, Iron Man dodging blaster fire through skyscrapers, Thor calling lightning down on Star Destroyers, Black Widow firing widows’ bites at Vader while he blocks them with his light saber, and Captain America wading through waves of Stormtroopers.

I’d still go with the Avengers over the Empire, largely playing out the same way it did against the Chitauri. Except for the ending, which would have Iron Man zipping along the Death Star trench to fire at the portal with his repulsor beams, Thor picking off TIE fighters as he advances. Because apparently the Empire and the Chitauri both buy their giant space ships from the same supplier.

(From “Target Comics” number 11, 1940.)

Since this came up in the contest thread, I just want to point out that anyone at all is more than welcome to put together one of these. Write it up however you like and email it to me, and if it seems like something helpful I’ll post it.

If you’d rather not be that formal, I’d definitely encourage you to post them on the “Tips & Tricks” forum. That’s open to anyone who’s registered and you can do it up however you like.

Your challenge this week is to come up with the best replacement dialog for this comics panel:

The best entry (as judged by yours truly) wins the author’s choice of either any item they like or any portrait to be included in HeroMachine 3′s final release, or a custom black and white “Sketch of the Day” style illustration (you pick the subject, I draw it however I like).

All entries must be left as a comment (or comments) to this post. Keep ‘em clean (appropriate for a late-night broadcast TV show), but most importantly, keep ‘em funny!

No limit to entries, but please, self-edit and only put up ones you genuinely think are good!

I was stunned to find 159 entries waiting for me from Character Contest 90 — you all outdid yourselves. They were universally high in quality as well, which pleased me greatly.

Furthermore, we had quite a few first-time entrants. Welcome to you all! I’m humbled and grateful to anyone who is willing to share his or her creativity with the world.

I do want to say a quick word about the point of these contests in light of so many new folks joining us. The selection process is just one guy — usually me — and his opinion of what looks neat. If you’re not among the finalists it doesn’t mean your work is bad or unappreciated, it just means on that day it didn’t happen to beat out a few other entries in my own personal opinion. If you see these weekly contests as a chance to flex your creative muscles and to have fun, you’re already a winner before you even start. The rest is just for fun.

Since everyone did such a great job this week, though, I wanted to put up a gallery with one illustration from every person who entered. For those who had multiple entries, I picked the one that I thought was the best. And if you sent some in but don’t see one here, please let me know and I’ll correct the oversight.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Character Design Contest 90 entrants!

As you can see, I had a really tough choice facing me. I’m going to pull out a few that were sort of in my final cut and share with you why I went the way I did.

First up is AJ’s “Strike Spectre”. I just thought this was a very solid, visually interesting super-hero design. I can’t say I get “spectre” from it but it’s a great illustration.

Next is Ariana Iris’ “Cannon Priest”. Again, a really solid character sketch where every piece fits and makes sense. I love the guy’s expression and the gun is stellar.

What can I say about dblade’s “Xenoplague” besides “WOW”? If you look at his oeuvre, you’ll notice how smart he is about the use of color. The foreground character and land are in cool colors while the sky and backplane are all warm oranges, yellows, and reds. That contrast really sets off the figure while giving the entire composition a lot of dynamism and depth. Plus the character herself is incredible, looking like she stepped right out of a Geiger drawing.

Guy Genesis’ “Winter Stryke” again brings a clean, simple, solid elegance to the table with a cohesive color scheme, consistent item selection, and well-directed concept.

Long-time man-crush Imp is back with another outstanding Golden-Age type of design in “Gold Spider”.

Kaylin88100′s “Chance Bloom” gives us a wonderful moment of SQUEE along with an illustration that nails the random name she was given. I love the energy, vibrancy, and attention to detail in this one. Like dblade’s, this is one of those I look at and think “I couldn’t have drawn that”. Which is pretty remarkable since in a way, I did! But no way I could come up with either of these freehand.

Lime is back! All of her illustrations manage to tell a story, which is truly remarkable. “Fish Soul” is no different, showcasing a great combination of the real and the fantastic. Plus, all of her characters tend to look like individuals. Here’s the little write-up she posted with the submission:

He found the guitar in a pawn shop, with a label on it that read “Fish Soul.” He thought it was called that because there were sharks on it. He soon learned otherwise.

Great, great job.

Like dblade, Papa Krok has a shot at winning every single week. “Mastera” is no exception. I mean, look at the expression on the creature! Most drawings of HUMANS don’t get show kind of emotion!

Rhinoman’s “Battle Cleric” is a classic, well-executed D&D style character illustration. I love the simplicity and focus in this one, where every item, position, and color reinforces the character concept.

RobM only had one entry this week but it’s a doozy. “Phantom Howler” is both a great concept and a great illustration. I could totally see this as the cover of a DC or Marvel book featuring the titular character, and I could totally see myself buying it.

Shiboreth is, I think, a first-time entrant, and really knocked it out of the park with “Light Empress”. The energy effects, the costume, and the glowing eyes all combine to make for a very powerful illustration. Well done and welcome!

Admit it, Skullcraze made you laugh with “Girl Man”.

Finally, Trekkie brings her signature style to “Steel Bug”, another vaguely Golden Age-ish character design that I’d love to see in a comic.

Those are all so great … Looking back over them I’m having a really hard time narrowing it down to just one. dblade’s clearly is a fantastic illustration, but Kaylin88100′s is so much fun. All of the others are also fantastic … ugh.

I can’t choose. So guess what, YOU get to! Here’s a quick poll, which I’ll leave up till tonight. You can vote for your Top Three; the entry getting the most overall votes by tonight will win the prize. Good luck!

(From “Target Comics” number 11, 1940.)

Many thanks to everyone who took the time to enter our Mother’s Day Pop Quiz! We had some fun entries that really gave me a chuckle. Without further ado, here they are:

I had a hard time picking a winner. I liked LogosGal’s book cover very much, but I thought it was more super-girlfriend related than super-mom. Similarly, I liked Myro’s and LoneWolf6155′s jokes a LOT but I had a hard time working through the arrangement of the word balloons. JohnnyGear’s Rose Galaxy was sweet, but didn’t quite have the visual impact I was hoping for. Mad Doctor’s entry, like Skybandit’s, was great but a little dark. Cliff’s was probably the most cohesive and “Mother’s Day” like of all, but I got more “Princess” than “Super” from it.

I liked Atomic Punk’s entry, especially the pink bow on the rocket launcher and the funky background. The concept of both Shiboreth’s and Gene’s was good but I didn’t feel like I’d “get” them from just the images. Herr D’s was cute but it looked more like they were all just dudes standing around rather than a basket of severed heads.

Kytana’s was adorable, particularly the combination of the mask with the PJs.

ManiacMick’s entry was solid but the perspective on the book bothered me a little, and I felt like too much space was taken up with the table.

Which sort of left me with NHA247′s:

It was thiiiis close to falling into the Gene/Shiboreth category of not quite getting it purely from the visual, but I thought the floating flowers gave it an edge. And I laughed at the idea of a super-powered guy giving his mom dirty laundry to do on Mother’s Day.

So congratulations to NHA247, and another sincere thanks to everyone who participated.

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day in the US of A — wait, is it Mother’s Day in other countries, too? I’m so parochial! — so your one-day slightly-more-complicated-than-usual quick-fire challenge is:

My mind boggles at the possibilities. Also, just because my mind is generally in a boggle-ish state.

You only get one entry — that’s right, just one! So make it your best. Most of the other rules are the same as for a regular contest, but instead of a whole week I’ll announce the winner either tonight or first thing in the morning.

• All entries must be in JPG or PNG form (BMPs are too big), posted to a publicly accessible website (like ImageShack, PhotoBucket, the UGO Forums, whatever);
• Entries must be made as a comment or comments to this post, containing a link directly to the image and the character name;
• Please name your files as [your name]-[character name].[file extension]. So DiCicatriz, for instance, would save his “Bayou Belle” character image as DiCicatriz-BayouBelle.png.
• Please make the link go directly to the image (like this) and not to a hosting jump page (like this). Here’s a quick-start guide on how to do that for various image hosting services.

The winner will receive their choice of either one item or one portrait to be included in the final HeroMachine 3 release, or one Sketch of the Day style drawing where you pick the subject and I draw it how I like.

Good luck!