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Batman and Robin: 1949 serial released by Columbia Pictures.
Starring Robert Lowery as Batman.
Directed by Sam Katzman.
Plot: Batman and Robin chasing (and finally unmasking in Chapter 15) an original villain called the Wizard.
Unique elements: The first on-screen appearances of both Vicki Vale and Commissioner Gordon.
Why it was good: It ditched the previous patriotic jingoism and was much more faithful to the comic.
Why it was bad: This serial had a budget that was found in the cracks of the producer’s couch.
Quality rating: 2 of 5.
Bizarre rating: 2 of 5.

Batman: 1966 film released by 20th Century Fox.
Starring Adam West as Batman.
Directed by Leslie H. Martinson.
Plot: The Joker, Penguin, Riddler and Catwoman attempt to kidnap a group of leading UN delegates.
Unique elements: Introduced new versions of the Bat-Copter, the Bat-Boat and the Bat-cycle. Plus, it had a shark.
Why it was good: If you like over the top camp and/or lots and lots of weed, then this is the film for you.
Why it was bad: If you don’t like over the top camp that simply rehashes the 60′s TV show, this film sucks.
Quality rating: 2 of 5.
Bizarre rating: 4 of 5.

Batman: 1989 film released by Warner Brothers.
Starring Michael Keaton as Batman.
Directed by Tim Burton.
Plot: The Joker terrorizes Gotham City until Batman hunts him down and kills him.
Unique elements: The Joker was given a name and replaced Joe Chill as the killer of Bruce’s parents.
Why it was good: The Gotham City setting. At first I thought sure it was shot on location in Cleveland.
Why it was bad: The Batplane just happened to have the right gadget to destroy the right number of toxic balloons.
Quality rating: 4 of 5.
Bizarre rating: 5 of 5.

Batman Returns: 1992 film released by Warner Brothers.
Starring Michael Keaton as Batman.
Directed by Tim Burton.
Plot: Penguin and Catwoman team up with Christopher Walken to take over Gotham City and raise Cain.
Unique elements: The Penguin was ret-conned as a mutant and Catwoman as a blonde crazy person.
Why it was good: Danny DeVito’s Penguin was truly evil, and Catwoman was truly mad. Plus, Pee Wee!
Why it was bad: Yet again, Beetlejuice unmasks himself simply to get into his girlfriends knickers.
Quality rating: 3 of 5.
Bizarre rating: 4 of 5.

Batman Forever: 1995 film released by Warner Brothers.
Starring Val Kilmer as Batman.
Directed by Joel Schumacher.
Plot: Two-Face teams up with the Riddler to mind-control all of the good citizens of Gotham City.
Unique elements: First depiction of Arkham Asylum, where Bruce Wayne’s psychiatrist/girl friend works.
Why it was good: Bruce’s new girlfriend helps him deal with the trauma of witnessing his parent’s murder.
Why it was bad: The director aped the style of the 1960’s television show without any of its dubious charms.
Quality rating: 2 of 5.
Bizarre rating: 4 of 5.

Batman & Robin: 1997 film released by Warner Brothers.
Starring George Clooney as Batman.
Directed by Joel Schumacher.
Plot: Cramming as many characters into the film as possible to cover the lack of a coherent plot.
Unique elements: Four words: rubber nipples and neon.
Why it was good: It wasn’t.
Why it was bad: This would require four more articles of this size.
Quality rating: 0 of 5. Some portions reach negative numbers.
Bizarre rating: 5 of 5. But not in a good way.

Batman Begins: 2005 film released by Warner Brothers.
Starring Christian Bale as Batman.
Directed by Christopher Nolan.
Plot: Bruce Wayne betrays his mentor Ra’s al Ghul, who follows him home to Gotham City for revenge.
Unique elements: First live action film depicting the Scarecrow, Ra’s al Ghul, Lucius Fox and Wayne Enterprises.
Why it was good: It used an absolute minimum of CGI to achieve rather spectacular stunts and effects.
Why it was bad: The film threw out 30 years of admittedly convoluted continuity to combine the Golden and Silver Ages.
Quality rating: 4 of 5.
Bizarre rating: 2 of 5.

atman’s new origin story.

The Dark Knight: 2008 film released by Warner Brothers.
Starring Christian Bale as Batman.
Directed by Christopher Nolan.
Plot: The Joker and Two-Face, both of whom are nuttier than squirrel turds, are supreme agents of chaos.
Unique elements: Batman’s Orwellian super-mega-hyper-ultra cosmic magical eavesdropping device.
Why it was good: Heath Ledger as the Joker got a well deserved (and sadly posthumous) Academy Award.
Why it was bad: Several rather gaping plot holes will distract the critically thinking audience members.
Quality rating: 5 of 5.
Bizarre rating: 4 of 5.

The Dark Knight Rises: 2012 film released by Warner Brothers.
Starring Christian Bale as Batman.
Directed by Christopher Nolan.
Plot: Talia al Ghul, Catwoman and Bane combine forces in order to destroy Batman and take over Gotham City.
Unique elements: First live-action appearance of Talia al Ghul, and Jim Gordon learns Batman’s identity.
Why it was good: The convoluted plot and its many twists put M. Night Shamalamadingdong to shame.
Why it was bad: Several more gaping plot holes are overshadowed by the fact that Batman RETIRED!!!
Quality rating: 4 of 5.
Bizarre rating: 3 of 5.