The winner of the HeroMachine Caption Contest 42 is … Ian!

The whole thing tickles my brain in a weird way, from the nonsense of the actual sentence to the look on Thor’s face. I imagine him being all “whaa-hunhn?!” Plus the combination of leather and lemon cookies is just perfect with the long flowing blond hair. Well done, Ian!

The other Honorable Mentions from this week in my humble opinion were:

• Runt82: You know the Kama Sutra? They had to write an entirely new chapter because of me.
• The Doomed Pixel: Wait…That’s not the Heimlich…
• Ian: Mmmmm…you smell like leather and lemon cookies!
• The Imp: Lemme show you why they call me ‘Mr. Fantastic’…
• Ballin’ Boy: Giddy up!
• Neil Leslie: Hello there, Thor. Let me tell you about my stimulus package.

Neil Leslie’s in particular was very timely, and now every time I watch the news and hear that phrase I’m going to get the willies. Thanks for that mental image, Neil.

Many thanks to everyone who entered! Ian and I will be talking about what he’d like for his prize, and we’ll be sure to share it with you once we’re done.

I am happy to announce that the winner of Caption Contest 41 is … John D!

Congratulations to John, who wins a custom black and white illustration of whatever he likes (within reason). I had to truncate the lyrics a bit to fit the balloon, but I loved the idea of Thanos appearing in a musical. Maybe if he did that more often he wouldn’t be so grumpy and bent on universal destruction, you know?

The other Honorable Mentions this week were:

• Kaldath: Five … Five Dollar Foot Longs!!
• jude: “Spirit fingers!!!!!”
• epochfox: join the dark side…. we have cookies and these lovely costumes
• Bael: “Well aren’t you just the cutest little homicidal xenomorph in the whole wide universe! Yes you are! Yes you are! Yes you are!”
• Ballin’ Boy: You’re an angry elf!
• Rick: Ribbed… for your pleasure.

I apparently love commercial references, obscure movie quotes, cookies, baby talk, and lewd allusions. Me in a nutshell, pretty much!

Thanks to everyone who entered, and keep an eye out in a bit for Caption Contest 42 and YOUR chance to win a professional illustration!

The winner of the hotly contested and very difficult to judge Caption Contest 40 and a custom black and white illustration by yours truly of whatever he or she likes is … Fishpants!

After a lot of mental wrangling I chose this one because a) just what the hell IS he a doctor of, anyway?, b) thinking it’s in podiatry made me laugh, and c) the casual tone of the reply fit with the way the figure is standing and the gentle tapering of its fingers. Its fingers of DOOM!!

Ahem.

The other notable Honorable Mentions as I saw them were:

• Ed: FOOL! HOW DARE YOU DEFY — oh, yeah, I can hold….
• Jester: Hello, Mr. Yakatori? My name is Victor von Doom, and I’d like to talk to you about joining my new world order…
• Loki: No I don’t want to vote for him! leave me alone!
• Dave: 1) NO! Doom does NOT want to switch his long distance! 2) Doom WILL have two large pies with extra cheese! 3) Doom demands your supervisor! Doom did not spend $700 on text messaging!
• Frankie: “What do you mean he can’t come to the phone right now? Do you have any idea what I’M doing right now?”
• Meg: Alright, I’ve opened Control Panel, what do I do if it’s still flashing?
• Zincspider: Stop calling Tony… Yes, your movie was better, I don’t care… are you drinking again?
• Timespike: Hello and welcome to the supervillain hotline. This call may be recorded for quality purposes. For account information, press 1. If your doomsday device is malfunctioning, press 2. If the heroes are knocking on your door, press 3. If your costume is out of date, press 4. If you need to rent more minions, press 5. If you need to punish the fools, press 6. If you need help deciphering ancient tomes, press 7. If your second in command is in league with the heroes, press 8. If your army of mind-controlled giant robot ant-sharks with laser beams on their antennae has stopped working, press 9. For all other calls, press 0, and a representative will be with shortly. Your call is important to us.

I think Dave best nailed the way Doom would actually talk on the phone. I liked Meg’s line because it made me imagine myself getting Doom on the phone back when I worked tech support for Dell and … ouch. But they were all good in their way, and I thank everyone who submitted an entry. Nice job everyone!

Check back in the next little while for Caption Contest 41 and your chance to win your own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like (within reason)!

With many thanks to our honored Guest Judge Jeff Rients (whose blog you really should make a regular read if you like gaming, creativity, or coolness), the winner of Caption Contest 39 is … Skulan!

Jeff wanted to be sure to mention the following entries as also being “laugh-out-loud funny”:

• Skulan: “Damn. I should have picked surrender”
• Settembrini: I should quit while I´m still ahead”
• Whit: “Just call me Shishka Bob.”

I see Jeff shares my love of good puns which, contrary to popular opinion, is not an oxymoron. It was great working with him; I’ve admired his blog for a long time and clearly he can bring it on caption contests too. Thanks again, Jeff!

There were a record number of entries for this one, and almost all of them were of a very high quality, so Skulan’s win is most impressive. He’ll get a free custom black and white illustration from yours truly of whatever he likes (within reason). If you didn’t win, don’t fret, Caption Contest 40 is going on right now, so put on the Funny Hat (not the one you got arrested in, the other one) and head on over for your chance at your own custom drawing!

The winner of Caption Contest 38 is our first three-time winner … xStacy!

This week was really tough to judge, I have to say. For the first time I generated two versions of the panel to help me decide, the other super-close runner-up was Gregg’s:

Ultimately I felt like xStacy’s made a little more sense in the panel, and its multiple possible meanings also intrigued me more. Plus, the final arbiter in these is always “Do I laugh even after having read it multiple times?” and xStacy’s definitely qualified. So, congratulations to her, she’ll win another custom black and white illustration from yours truly. She’s probably sick of them by now!

The other honorable mentions (all very good) were:

• Gregg: Avengers pull my finger!
• HalLoweEn JacK: Ok team, 3…2…1… GRIMACE!
• Frankie: “We’re gonna party like it’s 1985.”
• Fishpants: How do the assless pants look from back there, Steve?
• marx: OK! OK! Your telekinetic atomic wedgie counts as a super power!
• Cory: Run! Its the one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple, rip-off eater!

I really loved Fishpants’ “How do the assless pants look from back there, Steve?”, which makes me laugh every time I read it, especially looking at that horrible grimace on “Steve”s face. But, it ultimately was just too long to fit nicely in the balloon. HalLoweEn JacK’s was also very funny given the expressions on the other people in the panel. Frankie’s reference to the dated headband, hair, and outfits was great, marx’s comment really fit the whole look of what is going on in the scene, and Cory’s was the cleverest, I think. Great entries all the way around, thanks everyone!

I am pleased to announce that the winner of Caption Contest 37 (the Thanksgiving Edition) is … HalLoweEn JacK!

Don’t get me wrong, I like cats just fine, but this caption made me laugh every time I read it. It’s the look of absolute glee on the girl’s face that does it. I don’t condone kitty cruelty though, let’s be clear on that!

Other honorable mentions from this round include:

• Kaiju: Wow! I never knew hansel smeled so good!
• Scorpidius: Wow, lets give mom a big hand!!. . . . . oh wait!
• John D: Oooo yummy! Daddy DID come home for the holidays!!!
• Jester: I’m so glad you used the Betty Crocker recipe… But what are we gonna tell her folks?

Many thanks to all the entrants! As always, I’ll be posting the prize to the blog for everyone to enjoy (assuming JacK’s all right with that). Check back in a bit for Caption Contest 38 and your chance to win your very own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like!

I am happy to (belatedly) announce the winner of Caption Contest 36 as … TheNate!

I really appreciated TheNate’s originality and unique spin on this one, I think the line perfectly captures both the look on the guy’s face and the weird stance. Plus I just love the idea of a criminal techno-mastermind being stymied by a child-proof cap, that’s classic. I look forward to getting the details on what the prize illustration will be.

Having said that, there were a number of great entries, including the following Honorable Mentions:

• Vengeance: Every body dance. Now!!
• John: …wha? Batteries not included? *&^% Wal-Mart!
• HalLoweEn JacK: mmm mm MMMMMMMMM! mmm mmmmm mmmmmm!
• Whit:Let’s see, that’s left, left, A, B, right, X, B…
• devo6: Great Spiraling Sperm!! These Gloves make texting impossible!!
• Kramer: (in small print) “I think… I think I just soiled my armor.”
• Jester:(and, to quote a line from one of my new favorite movies) Ok, let’s face it: This isn’t the worst thing you’ve caught me doing.

Good stuff this week, thanks everyone! If you didn’t win this time around, never fear — Caption Contest 37 is going on right now, so head on over and try your luck for a chance to win your own professional illustration!

The winner of Caption Contest 35 is … Meg!

Meg will receive a free custom black and white illustration of whatever he or she likes (within reason). Look for your chance to win your own professional drawing every Tuesday right here at HeroMachine.com!

The other honorable mentions from this week were:

• TheNate:
  1) Excuse me, are those Bugle Boy Jeans you’re wearing?
  2) Ding dong! Avon calling!
• Rick: Yancy Street Makeover my ass!!!
• Meg: Honey? Does this crusty greenish skin make me look fat?
• C. Yusuf Mumaz: Those people at Maybelliene… I’ll give’em a real challenge!
• The Doomed Pixel: “Dad, I think I’m allergic to bees!”
• John D: I…want….MIDOL!!!!!!!!

I almost went with Meg’s other entry, because I like to use the word “crusty” whenever possible, but I thought maybe the internet one had broader appeal. I also liked the unspoken assumption that Ben Grimm would go out on a blind date wearing a mask, as if to hide his identity without noticing his giant orange rock hands poking out the ends of his coat.

Finally, as I said in the comments, Rick gets bonus points for the old-school Yancy Street Irregulars shout-out.

Nice job everyone, many thanks for your creativity!

I am happy to announce that the winner of Caption Contest 34 is … Runt82!

This is Runt’s second win, so big congratulations for him. I had immediate flashbacks of doing the hokey-pokey at the skating rink when I was growing up, and this guy would have fit right in there. Good job! Other honorable mentions included:

• marx: That’s right! My henchmen and I shook up every can of soda in the fridge! We’re hard-core evil like that, baby.
• HalLoweEn JacK: Fear me! All will trmble before ‘The Tugger’.
• Rick: I shall have my Yahtzee. You will see!
• Fishpants: Prepare yourself for…let’s see…3d6 damage plus two! Bwa ha ha ha!
• Fishpants: You FOOLS! For the last time it’s LEFTY-LOOSEY, RIGHTY-TIGHTY!

Thanks to everyone for the great entries! Not all of them were necessarily age-appropriate or censor-ready, but they were certainly entertaining.

I am running a couple of weeks behind on my prizes, but rest assured Runt82 will win his very own custom black and white illustration of whatever he likes. Last time he chose Draco, so I’m curious to see what we come up with this time around. Stay tuned for your chance to win your own drawing from yours truly, coming up later today!

The winner of Caption Contest 33 is … MLS!

MLS wins a custom black and white illustration of whatever they like (within reason), which I’ll post to the blog when completed.

There were a lot of really good entries this time, I guess everyone gets inspired by floating wienies. I know I do. Here were the ones I thought were particularly funny:

• Meg: Unidentified frying objects!
• Vengeance: Cry havoc! And let slip the pies of war!
• Will: Oh no! My “dinerkinesis” manifests itself at the worst times!
• Niall Mor: This is the second weirdest breakfast buffet I’ve ever seen.
• Kaldath: I know I said I wanted my order to go but this is ridiculous!
• Rick: I said I like the same thing every day not everything the same day!
• Danny Beaty: I’ll never eat at Chez San Andreas again!
• Yusuf Mumtaz: The Telekinetic Waiters union is getting too powerful.
• Whit: This isn’t what I meant when I ordered a float!

It was a real toss-up for me between MLS’s entry and Meg’s, Vengeance’s, Will’s, and Niall Mor’s. All of them I thought were especially creative and funny and I had a really hard time deciding. I particularly tip my hat to Will for coining a wonderful new term; I look forward to Marvel’s upcoming “Dinerkinesis Man”, I think we can all agree that would rawk. I think what finally decided me in MLS’s favor was the whole concept of a guy deliberately setting out to create — on purpose — lenses whose whole purpose was to levitate food. That’s just awesome. And then imagining what kind of outfit that kind of guy would come up, that just cracks me up and tickles my brain in just the right way.

Many thanks to everyone’s awesome entries this week, they are truly inspired. Congratulations to MLS, and to all of the honorable mentions as well. Great job everyone!

Your chance to win your own custom black and white illustration of whatever you like is coming up in just a bit, so be sure to check the site often!