Weekend Open Critique Day #H9

Another open critique day is under way. Show us what you have been working on all week. Ask for help and guidance. We are here for you.

19 Responses to Weekend Open Critique Day #H9

  1. Nick Hentschel

    As promised, I’d like to continue the conversation I had with Herr D (and perhaps some others), concerning the “Mandalorian EMT” character that I whipped up. First, here’s the old one……

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/huskybike/8411050285/

    …..And now, the new version, in response to Thursday’s advice:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/huskybike/8419733509/

    The changes are threefold:
    a) I’ve changed the entire body-color to “ambulance yellow,” ditching the red undersuit. I decided that he would concentrate on being purely visible, instead of looking good.
    b) I ditched the chest-pack, and went back to an earlier concept, whereby he wears a medical symbol on his chest.
    c) I made my first effort at adding a blaster-mounted fire suppressor, thus creating a combination tool useful for rescues. It’s not perfect, with only a short tube (maybe it’s retractable?), but it was tricky to make, and it’s a start. I also changed the color back to black: good or bad?

  2. Kicktar:
    http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/LordSovir_zpsee9865b2.png
    Lord Sovir, alter-ego to Losvir (http://i891.photobucket.com/albums/ac111/Kicktar/HM/Losvir2_zps36b33e27.png)
    Critique Sovir, primarily his similarity to Losvir

    Where is the back of his cape? Also, does he need some kind of belt? Then to the good part: I LOVE Sovir’s face! Great work!

  3. https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/558188_4161851330636_1073438736_n.jpg

    https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/75012_4161850610618_2088029216_n.jpg

    Giladria, a Paladin-Assassin. The skin tone is a racial thing (Drow/High Elf cross). Don’t let her blindness fool you, she’s deadly.

    I’m mainly curious if anyone’s got any tips for the sleeves. They came out pretty well I think but I’m not 100% happy with them. Thanks in advance.

  4. Nick Hentschel

    Jason22274:
    https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/558188_4161851330636_1073438736_n.jpg

    https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/75012_4161850610618_2088029216_n.jpg

    Giladria, a Paladin-Assassin.The skin tone is a racial thing (Drow/High Elf cross).Don’t let her blindness fool you, she’s deadly.

    I’m mainly curious if anyone’s got any tips for the sleeves.They came out pretty well I think but I’m not 100% happy with them. Thanks in advance.

    There’s very little technically “Wrong” with the drawing: the overall style is quite aesthetically pleasing, and the celtic-knot trim down the front is a very nice touch. The worst that I can say, is that it could be given a little more use of subtle color here and there, like hair color, skin tone, cloak/hood lining, etc.

    I’d cut yourself a little slack about the sleeves: there’s nothing wrong that you shouldn’t be able to fix in the long run. A little bit of gentle re-sizing and/or movement, here and there, or *maybe* some use of the “elbow” items from Top – MaleCoats or such, should resolve it all eventually. Just be patient.

    You might consider changing the belt/sash a bit, perhaps by using a simpler sash with another belt over the top, a la the Jedi style: this might explain better how she’s able to put those pouches on (it doesn’t work well with a sash, but is fine with a leather belt).

  5. Jason22274:
    https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/558188_4161851330636_1073438736_n.jpg

    https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/75012_4161850610618_2088029216_n.jpg

    Giladria, a Paladin-Assassin.The skin tone is a racial thing (Drow/High Elf cross).Don’t let her blindness fool you, she’s deadly.

    I’m mainly curious if anyone’s got any tips for the sleeves.They came out pretty well I think but I’m not 100% happy with them. Thanks in advance.

    I see a very good illustration here. If I were to nitpick, there are two things:

    1) the head of the staff is behind her head… it feels a little off

    And…. since you asked….

    2) the sleeves… they are pretty good, and you did a very good job making sure the fold lines match…. they feel a little bit bulky. This is what I mean:

    https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-zBPR2PgmId8/UQW32zuI0WI/AAAAAAAAFPg/s3PCYncm92A/s1600/jason-example.png

    See where the red lines intersect? That’s where her elbows should be. The areas I marked in green are what feels bulky… Extra fabric that feels a little out of place…. Just remember, I highly stress that this is a nitpick. Not a major problem.

    Cheers,

  6. I just had a thought, which character has had the most alternate costumes throughout DC and Marvel? In marvel I would have to say Spiderman. Theres his regular costume, then a couple of simple mods to that one, the symbiote suit, noir suit, armormed spiderman, scarlett, 2099, ect. I dont know who it would be for DC though.

  7. Tool, you are clearly not that familiar with Marvel’s Wasp

  8. Wow that’s a lot of bad costumes LOL.

  9. Prof. Abercrombie Q. Anthrax

    If Wasp doesn’t fit the definition of “clothes horse”, I’d be hard pressed to figure out who would.

  10. Nick Hentschel

    Prof. Abercrombie Q. Anthrax:
    If Wasp doesn’t fit the definition of “clothes horse”, I’d be hard pressed to figure out who would.

    She’s not a Clothes Horse; she’s a Fashion Bug. ;-)

    P.S. Does NOBODY have anything to say about my character?

  11. Nick and Worf: Thank you both for the insight. I think Worf it it on the head on what has been bothering me about the sleeves. I’m gonna work on altering them slightly to account for that bulkiness. I also didn’t even think about the difficulties with the belt which has been addressed.

    I know for a fact I’m overly critical with my work (My friends won’t let me forget) but it’s part of who I am. I see such great work week after week on the contests though, it’s easy to try holding myself up against such great standards.

    Anyway, I’ll post a revised version next week. Thanks again.

  12. Nick: Fair is fair.

    Three things that stick out to me, and these are just preferences.

    With the neck, arms and legs all being yellow it looks to me at least to be his skin tone not a jumpsuit. I think using the first set of pants under male-pants would help as it’ll add seams. Similarly the sleeves on Malefantasycommon, third page. I do like that you went away from the darker colored undersuit. It looked completely out of place before. I think I might have gone with fire-engine red instead though. Again, just a preference.

    This is a complete nit-pick, but I think the helmet looks a bit too small to me. Or is he a robot and that’s his head? I’d try resizing it a slight bit larger.

    Lastly, the blaster: I think it’s improved over the previous version. If possible I’d go with a grey line on the black portions so you get better definition. It might just be my color settings but to me it’s just a silhouette.

    Hope I helped at least a bit.

  13. Nick Hentschel

    Jason22274:
    Nick: Fair is fair.

    Three things that stick out to me, and these are just preferences.

    With the neck, arms and legs all being yellow it looks to me at least to be his skin tone not a jumpsuit.I think using the first set of pants under male-pants would help as it’ll add seams.Similarly the sleeves on Malefantasycommon, third page. I do like that you went away from the darker colored undersuit.It looked completely out of place before.I think I might have gone with fire-engine red instead though.Again, just a preference.

    This is a complete nit-pick, but I think the helmet looks a bit too small to me.Or is he a robot and that’s his head?I’d try resizing it a slight bit larger.

    Lastly, the blaster: I think it’s improved over the previous version.If possible I’d go with a grey line on the black portions so you get better definition.It might just be my color settings but to me it’s just a silhouette.

    Hope I helped at least a bit.

    I tried adding a pattern to the undersuit, here and there, but wasn’t happy. I’ll try harder.

    Yeah, the head’s a little small, but it came out that way, and my attention was diverted elsewhere. Good thought about the LineColor for the gun: I’ve been having trouble with the appearances of dark-colored firearms in several drawings. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me: I’ve already been using it with dark-colored hair.

    Thanks.

  14. Nick Hentschel

    JASON22274:

    Here it is, with the corrections you suggested. You seem to have been right, across the board.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/huskybike/8425179490/

    I found a simpler way to add “seams” to the undersuit, using the MaleSpandex category, instead of MalePants. In fact, this approach might allow me to add a pattern to one side of the seam, but not the other, creating some interesting effects!

    Thanks.

  15. Nick: Excellent! I like the effect with the seems/spandex. I agree, the potential for adding patterns is staggering this way.

  16. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, good luck getting him to do anything else.
    Fishing

  17. Nick Hentschel

    Jason22274:
    Nick: Excellent!I like the effect with the seems/spandex.I agree, the potential for adding patterns is staggering this way.

    I’ve actually gotten one image made already. ;-)

    Thanks again.