Of fire nipples and Cyclothongs

If you’re standing next to Emma Frost and you’re the one people point at while shouting “That’s a horrible costume!”, then you, my friend, have achieved truly epic levels of sartorial psychopathy:

It’s bad enough that Cyclops is wearing a red thong here (or “banana hammock” if you want to be technical about it), set against a black backdrop so it really pops. What’s worse is that it’s the same shape as his Cyclopean eye slit, making you think maybe they’re both staring at you and waiting to blast you with a beam of some sort. Yuck.

His metal or leather or whatever the chic super-hero fabrique du jour is has a deep, plunging neckline cut into it in the shape of a phoenix, presumably because he’s been taken over by the Phoenix Force. Or the NBA’s Phoenix Suns, which would be much worse. Either way, it’s good that the cutout exists because his nipples are on fire. That’s gotta smart, but if you’re not willing to take the pain then you’re not really committed to your fashion choice.

So congratulations, Cyclops, you’ve managed to wear an outfit so bad I can’t even mention Emma Frost, a sentence I’m pretty sure no one anywhere ever thought they would be able to write.

(From “Avengers vs. X-Men” 6, ©2012 Marvel Comics.)

22 Responses to Of fire nipples and Cyclothongs

  1. What. The. F***.

  2. Lordgrimm01

    What Dan said O_O

  3. I think he forgot his costume and had to wear Emma’s spare. That can’t be intentional, can it?

    On the subject of Emma’s costume, it looks like it came from one of those “difficult” HM moments where you can’t get any of the clothes to fit the pose. Boots, yes. Gauntlets, check. Everything else? No idea. Just put something in the way and hope for the best.

  4. Actually his suit isn’t cut out, it just has some wonky lighting from the fire.
    This IGN article has both his costume on fire and not. Without it, he just has a red phoenix shaped leather.
    http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/06/07/the-second-act-of-avengers-vs-x-men-begins

  5. Honestly I think his costume would be fine without the crotch emblem, it’s a little derivative of the new Nightwing outfit, but it’d be a good look with just the one chest emblem. I’m a fan of the pointed visor, it makes him look otherworldly and menacing.
    Emma’s is just classic barely there Emma, and from that link I actually rather like Colossus’s phoenix look. The belts and the mini-tunic work well on him. Magik’s isn’t too bad either, a little S&M with the spiky full body gloves, but cool looking at least..

  6. “Crotch emblem.” I think that about sums it up right there.

  7. Yeah, it’d be fine without the crotch helmet… What a pain in the @$$!

  8. Well, Vampyrist, thanks for ruining our fun with your visual facts. Now we can’t talk about cyclops’s nipples anymore…sheesh.

  9. Yeah, upon further review of the facts, I’ll give ‘em a pass on the chest cut out. But I’m sorry, that crotch emblem is a crime against humanity.

  10. Frankie:
    Well, Vampyrist, thanks for ruining our fun with your visual facts.Now we can’t talk about cyclops’s nipples anymore…sheesh.

    Well, we could if we wanted. Ahem….Scott, I’ve read from running forums that you could treat that by rubbing them with some vaseline a couple times a day.

  11. wait so the phoenix force is back and cyclops is hosting it?

  12. I just noticed the copyright is 2012. Are they really still drawing costumes like this? Jeff could literally post this same picture next week and talk about Frost instead. Between Cyclops’s crotch visor and her Borat-style bikini/Michilen-man leggings these are two of the worst non-Liefeld Marvel costumes I’ve seen a long while…

  13. Okay, I know Cyclops has become even more of a douche recently, but just outright stealing Nightwing’s current costume just pushes him a little further toward epic doucheness. If “doucheness” isn’t a word, it really should be.

  14. knight26:
    wait so the phoenix force is back and cyclops is hosting it?

    It’s a recent development in the Avengers vs. X-men saga. The Phoenix Force was on its way to Earth. Everyone assumed it was targeting Hope Summers as its next host. She made her way to the Blue Area of the Moon to try and greet it in hopes (no pun intended) that she could control its power and become a messiah for the mutant race. SPOILERS!!!: Iron Man and Henry Pym (along with the rest of the Avengers) caught up to the X-men on the moon and used a hastily put together disruptor cannon to try and ‘kill’ the Phoenix Force (as Hope was having trouble keeping its power under control).

    What they accomplished was merely a fracturing of the Phoenix Force (which goes in line with its history, given that pieces of the Phoenix have splintered off before and occupied certain people/objects) dividing it into five pieces. These five pieces promptly occupied Colossus, Magik, Emma Frost, Cyclops, and Namor; imbuing them all with the cosmic level abilities enjoyed by other Phoenix hosts. It remains to be seen what they do with their newfound godhood, but all signs point to them trying to reshape the world as a safer place for mutants. The Avengers of course won’t be having any of it, leading to further conflict and six more issues of an already drawn out crossover saga…

  15. DiCicatriz, thanks for explaining that. I haven’t been reading comics of late and that kind of storyline ain’t what’s going go get me back into it.

    Plus, I think Jeff said it all…

    Jeff Hebert:
    “Crotch emblem.” I think that about sums it up right there.

  16. The actual costume is fine. My only problem with this outfit is his visor is too clunky. Besides that, the outfit isn’t that bad. I think the thong is a bad chioce, but the problem is the crappy background. You cannot tell which is cyclopse and what’s the background. If the fire was more realistic his costume would be ok.

  17. I dunno what is more aggravating today, seeing more artist fall into the trappings of bad design and lack of physical proportions (see DCnU Catwoman #0 issue cover) or having been put on hold by a government office for over 35 minutes and still not get through. -_-

    We need to send these artist back to school and teach them the rules and properties of quality artwork that doesn’t look like the 90s lost its lunch all over it or has women looking like sex objects with bodies that had to be made from living near Chernobyl all their lives. Also, can we make an example of artists like Jim Lee and Rob Liefeld by using corporal punishment on them and then force them to sit in the corner and wear the dunce cap for the rest of the school year? Would certainly send the message home to the rest of the class.

    Also, the same message can be said about the writing in comics. Tell Rob and Jim to make room for Bendis cause he’s one of many who need to be made an example of.

    Mr. Q

  18. In chastising Phoenix powered Cyclops, we’ve completely overlooked Phoenix power Namor:

    http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/10/101444/2392216-clos0.jpg

    Leather sleeves – no torso
    Leather trousers with a scaley crotch cover (cause you know, he’s from Atlantis) and exposture of his inner thighes.

    For a guy who wore a speedo most of the time, I wouldn’t have though it could get much worse (well, apart from 90s Namor). But here he is – being the one showing the most flesh, in a group that includes Emma Frost

  19. Frevoli:

    http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/10/101444/2392216-clos0.jpg

    Is anyone else slightly disturbed by what looks like an extra lump at the bottom of Magick’s swimsuit?

  20. Should have a doctor look at that

  21. That’s just the corner of her loincloth folding over :D

  22. McKnight57: Is anyone else slightly disturbed by what looks like an extra lump at the bottom of Magick’s swimsuit?

    DiCicatriz:
    That’s just the corner of her loincloth folding over

    That might be true, DiCicatriz, but what has been seen cannot be unseen.