Monthly Archives: February 2012

We spring like tiger. LIKE LASER BEAM MADE OF TIGER!

On our last episode, our ragtag band of plucky survivalists was about to be assaulted by a scraggly band of motorcycle marauders. We decided that rather than wading into battle on our shaking little chicken legs, we'd unlimber our trusty rifle and take aim at the vandals. Unfortunately it looks like at least one of them went to the Jean Claude Van Damm School of Fighting and Comportment:

We done been KICK-SERVED, mofos!

Thus we find ourselves exactly where we did not want to be: Pitting our shriveled manhood against Bald Tatto Guy. I've been there, my friends, and believe me, it's not fun. Not fun at all.

Resigning myself to another "Time to pick another adventure and hope we don't die so fast this time" post, I nonetheless gamed it out.

Continue reading

Too late!

(From "Blue Bolt" number 5, 1940.)

The Invisible Costume

I'm all for women feeling empowered enough to wear whatever they like, but there's a thin line between "sexy powerful" and "my son ran through my closet with a pair of scissors". A line Sue Richards clearly crossed here:

The matching chest and tummy cut-outs I understand. I mean, they look kind of stupid, but I understand that Marvel might have felt Power Girl's cleavage just left too much to the imagination and so had to one-up their rivals.

What I don't get at all, though, is the faux garter belts at both thigh and bicep. I can only assume Sue is using her powerful force field manipulation powers to hold them in place as some sort of homage to pointlessness.

Most confusing to me, however, is whatever is going on in the neck and shoulder area. You're already parading around in an outfit that that requires advanced super powers simply to stay on, yet somehow you feel the need for a high Victorian collar? And while your tummy and the area between your thigh and your naughty bits is perfectly all right to flash around, it's your shoulders that need covering up? Seriously?

Not to mention I also see no way that oval stays attached when its only connections to the rest of the outfit are the spandex suspender strap coming off her sports-bra-by-way-of-Victoria's-Secret.

Seriously, if she ever gets knocked unconscious wearing that thing and the force fields turn off, we're all in for a lot more visibility from her than we bargained for.

If only it were that easy

(From "Blue Bolt" number 5, 1940.)

Spawn vs. Ghost Rider

With the advent of the latest "Ghost Rider" movie ("Powered by the Rage of Cage!"), I thought this might be a good Versus question for today:

[polldaddy poll="5964547"]

You could make a very good argument that Spawn was just a motorcycle-less rip-off of Ghost Rider. They've got similar looks, similar powers, similar stories, and lots and lots of chains. And fire.

However, Ghost Rider has a motorcycle with flaming wheels, and therefore the point is moot -- he wins.

I dare you to refute my nerd logic!

New from Marvel: The X-Men vs. the WWE!

(From "Blue Bolt" number 5, 1940.)

Character Design Contest 82: Lust

Next up in our Seven Deadly Sins series of character design contests is Lust!

Your design challenge for this week is to create a character or characters based on something related to the second of the Deadly Sins, "lust". This one could get over the line pretty quickly, folks, so I'm reminding you that this is very much a PG-13 site.

You could do a vampiress or hunky vampire, a succubus, a super-character named Lust, or anything else that comes to mind. But really, it's up to you. Just make a great illustration based on the concept of "lust".

The rules are the same as usual:

  • All entries must be in JPG or PNG form (BMPs are too big), posted to a publicly accessible website (like ImageShack, PhotoBucket, the UGO Forums, whatever);
  • Entries must be made as a comment or comments to this post, containing a link directly to the image and the character name;
  • The image cannot have been used in any previous HeroMachine character design contest;
  • Please name your files as [your name]-[character name].[file extension]. So DiCicatriz, for instance, would save his "Bayou Belle" character image as DiCicatriz-BayouBelle.png.
  • Please make the link go directly to the image (like this) and not to a hosting jump page (like this). If you see "preview" or "rotate" somewhere in the link you're probably doing it wrong.
  • All entries must be in by next Monday, when I'll choose a winner.

The person with the winning entry as selected by our expert panel (i.e. me) will win their choice of a) a portrait to go in HeroMachine 3, b) an item to go in HeroMachine 3, or c) a custom black and white "Sketch of the Day" style drawing (also by me).

No limit again this week, knock yourselves out.

Good luck, everyone!

META: Why I don't allow HeroMachine to be used for copyrighted characters

As frustrating as my brush with Marvel's legal department was years ago, the litigation wars are escalating much further, much faster.

Because this is (or at least, was) a business, I am in a much more tenuous legal position than you are as individuals. And yet, here's a case where a guy did some cool Wolverine sketches and had to hire a lawyer to keep Marvel from retroactively taking them for their own.

Make versions of copyrighted characters at your own risk, folks. But if you do, you can't post them here.

Caption Contest 117 Winners!

Caption Contest 117 brought some funny entries, so many thanks to everyone who entered. I picked my favorites to replace the missing dialog in this panel:

Without further ado, here are your Finalists for this week:

  • MrMikeK: I will make this face until it freezes this way!
  • John: I will floss twice a day! I WILL!
  • EnderX: “I will not rest until my eyeballs return to normal!”
  • McKnight57: I vow to flip my way out of this hell! …. Did you see what I did there? Coyne. Flip. Really, nothin’?
  • The Atomic Punk: Never again will I touch these electrified bars!
  • Sutter_Kaine: “I’ll learn to breath through my nose if it’s the last thing I do!!!”
  • 1rd2th3st: I VOW TO NEVER AGAIN OPEN MY MOUTH MENACINGLY WHILE THINKING TO MYSELF!!!
  • Bael: Prison? Damn, I am never doing shots with Deadpool again!
  • Myro: ”When I get out, I’m gonna get the band back together. This time we’ll call ourselves “Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.”
  • E350: “I SHALL SWALLOW THIS PRISON WHOLE!”
  • Joel: “Hehe, jokes on you, it was a vow of silence.”

After due deliberation, I've decided on our winner, E350!

Congratulations to E350 and all our Finalists!

The adventures of The Flasher!

(From "Blue Bolt" number 5, 1940.)