Monthly Archives: November 2010

RP: See, men never know what women want

(From "Four Favorites" number 10, 1942.)

Friday Night Fights, Round 3!

It's Final Four time in Friday Night Fights, and that's a lot of "F"s, my friends. So without further ado, I present our matchups (click on an image to see it at a larger size):

[polldaddy poll="4153242"] [polldaddy poll="4153274"]

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FNF2 Round 2 RESULTS!

By doubling up his nearest competitor in terms of percentage of the vote, the winner of the Friday Night Fights 2 Round 2 Consolation Prize is ... Alex! His Little John was judged the best by 27% of the votes cast; congratulations to him.

In the main bracket, the results were as follows:

  • DiCicatriz 117, Gargoyle323 40
  • Frevoli 82, VonMaclolm 77
  • Myro 109, JordanXord 37
  • Imp 114, Me Myself and I 44

That sets up a Final Four of Imp (9) vs. Myro (5), and Frevoli (10) vs. DiCicatriz:

Congratulations to all the winners, and good luck in the next round, which I'll post in a couple of hours.

RP: Welcome to our new employee health plan

(From "Four Favorites" number 10, 1942.)

RP: That’s the last time we go over the hill to Grandma’s house

(From "Four Favorites" number 10, 1942.)

Enter .. The Manssiere!

(Edited to Add: With thanks to the excellent commenters below, it turns out I'm an idiot -- who could have guessed?! -- and the Goliath below is actually the Clint Barton a.k.a. Hawkeye version. I am leaving the post as-is because it's funny even if it's wrong, and because the world should always have clear proof that I'm an idiot.)

Goodness knows Hank Pym's gone through his share of identity crises, veering wildly back and forth among Yellowjacket, Giant-Man, Ant-Man, and who knows how many others. So I suppose we shouldn't be surprised that he might have a "Bondage Meets Gender Confusion" conflict as well, as evidenced by his "Goliath" costume:

On the one hand, I have to give him props for being willing to wear a manssiere out in public like that (or for you pro-Kramer folks out there, "The Bro"). Granted, he did butch it up a bit with the big metal rivets on the shoulder straps, but you can't tell me that's not a bra.

On the other hand, I can't figure out how he's keeping that barely-covers-the-shoulders, abs-revealing blue half-shirt attached to his body. Maybe the manssiere keeps it held down, but I can't fathom how it stays skin-tight like that. I suspect daily visits to his local bondage shop are in order for some sort of body glue.

And I bet he's got their Customer Loyalty Rewards Card for the frequent purchaser, too.

I think adding a full-on leather wrestling belt, complete with straps and buckles, in that delightful shade of aqua is a further testament to Hank's level of comfort with his own conflicted sexual identity. Sadly, later he'd abandon his more feminine side in favor of a full-blown, can-we-say-overcompensating leather-clad "Check out the package, ladies!" wife-abusing Yellowjacket identity:

So to all you cross-dressing or transgendered folks out there considering a career in the super-hero arts, I urge you to follow the example of Goliath and not Yellowjacket -- own your identity, be loud and proud, and above all, never wear aqua with blue after Easter!

P.S. On a more serious note, how awesome is that cover?

(Image and characters ©Marvel Comics.)

RP: DOOM is no man’s honey!

(Image and characters © Marvel Comics.)

Poll Position: Fantastic!

It's Mister Fantastic Day here at HeroMachine.com, and to introduce our Poll Position question, I want you to listen to the following thoughtful piece by Mr. Norm Macdonald on the naming of the foremost super family:

[hdplay id=1 ]

In light of that riveting discussion, our poll question is:

{democracy:159}

For those of you who can't access the audio, at great personal pain I have transcribed the entire sketch below.

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RP: Mr. Fantastic JERK maybe

(Image and characters © Marvel Comics.)

Caption Contest 87

Welcome all my friends to the show that never ends! We're so glad you could arrive, look inside, look inside!

Or failing that, come up with the funniest replacement dialog for this random comics panel from "Captain America":

Otherwise, the rules are simple — as many entries as you like (within the bounds of good personal editing), appropriate for no worse than a late-night broadcast TV show, by next Monday. The winner receives their choice of a) any item they like to be included in HeroMachine 3; b) any portrait they like to be included in HM3; or c) any subject (within reason) for a Sketch of the Day style custom black and white drawing.

Good luck everyone!

(All of those various Captain America iterations, this specific image, the term “super-hero”, and any ideas you have ever had or might have in the future, along with the contents of your sock drawer, are all © Marvel Comics.)