Poll Position: Those marvelous toys

This week's Poll Position is all about the gear:


Discussion after the jump.

The two key aspects to this in my opinion are that first, the item is for your exclusive use, meaning you can't manufacture more of it for sale. So picking something hoping to strike it rich as an inventor/industrialist is out, as is hoping to mass-produce something beneficial for the great unwashed masses. And second, you can't make more of whatever it is, so if you use it all up or break it, you're up the creek.

With that in mind, let's take a look at each option in turn.

  1. Batman's utility belt: Chock full of interesting bits, you get a lot of bang for your buck with this choice. We'll stipulate that you get to pick which of the thousands of devices ol' Bats has whipped out of that thing over the years in all the variety of media, so you've got some latitude. Unfortunately a lot of what he uses is skill-dependent; batarangs are neat, but not much use if you don't know how to throw them.
  2. Excalibur: Again, we'll stipulate that you get to decide which version of the legendary sword you get. As arguably the mightiest weapon in history, this has a lot of appeal, although in a world without kings I don't know how useful it'd be on a day to day basis.
  3. Iron Man's armor: This is the reflex choice because with it, you basically become an instant super-hero. But one thing keeps me back -- what's it plug into? ...
  4. Legion flight ring: I don't believe the flight rings need any power source, so unlike the Tony Stark wannabes out there, you're not going to come falling out of the sky doing your best impression of Galileo's rocks. And being able to fly with just your body as your vehicle would be awesome. For sheer unadulterated joy, this one's got to be right at the top.
  5. Night Owl's airship (from Watchmen): You can fly, which is great, and it's stealthy, which is even better, and it shoots fire, which is best of all. And from what I remember it runs on either compressed hydrogen or plain old electricity, ubiquitous thanks to Dr. Manhattan's intervention. But again, if it breaks you're SOL, and there's no guarantee you'd be able to find a compatible fuel source. So, a risky choice. Plus you have to know how to pilot it, which could get a bit dicey.
  6. Silver Surfer's surfboard: We'll assume that you don't get the full Power Cosmic, just the ability to fly around in any environment without getting harmed. This is better than the Legion Flight Ring in that sense, because you could go literally anywhere. But on the downside, you're flying around on a fricking surf board.
  7. Wonder Woman's magic lasso: Compel anyone to tell the absolute truth? Sign me up!

Looking over the list, I think I'd probably go with the flight ring. I've always thought it would be incredible to actually get to do that, to fly without any vehicle or big strapped-on jet-pack, just you and the sky ... man, that would be awesome. If you wanted to go into the super-hero trade, you could rig up a flight suit for high-altitude work, even probably a space suit to give NASA a hand getting us into outer space. Which would also be neat.

I'm tempted by the magic lasso, too, but you don't get to pick bugs out of your teeth when you're tying people up. Flight, that's for me baby!

Which would you choose?

25 Responses to Poll Position: Those marvelous toys

  1. Runt82 says:

    I went with the reflex choice. Iron Man FTW!

  2. LuciferSam says:

    iron man armor

  3. DJ says:

    I started to go with Iron Mans armor but then I thought about being trapped in it like in the movie. That and you have to know how to operate which would take some classes and you would have to have the arc reactor. Then I thought about the flight ring and didn’t like the idea of being in the open and what if the ring falls off? So I chose the surfboard. If nothing can harm you while on the board then it would be so much fun.

  4. Nate says:

    either the armor or the belt, not sure which

  5. Rendu says:

    Are we talking the old-school “obey my commands” lasso, or the modern “tell the truth” version?
    Umm..just asking. No particular reason…

  6. Joshua says:

    @DJ: Interesting choice, and the one I almost concluded with…however: what ever would you do if you simply fell off?
    Granted, the board would–upon vocal command– come to your aid. But that’s the big if there, huh? IF you called out to it. Now, in recent times that could have changed and the board simply responds to a mental command, but once more that only works if your conscious. Now, I agree your survival rate is higher with the board than Stark’s armor, but c’mon, Stark’s armor has offensive capabilities. Now, you’re absolutely right about being claustrophobic in the armor. At certain heights it’s not like you can open a port hole and breathe deep. And God forbid the suit lose power mid-flight. Still, have to go with it for this one reason: you’re going to be much more badass showing up at a fight looking like RoboCop than with a surfboard 🙂

    @Jeff: My friend, oh how I wish you would have added an Oan (Green Lantern) power ring. Voted by Wizard and yours truly as the greatest offensive/defensive instrument in the omniverse. Besides that, it grants you flight, an universal translator, any device limited only to your imagination…and (…for all the single guys and gals out there.) you can even create “companionship”. In case the wife is snooping about: I am happily married and wouldn’t abuse the ring like that. Shame on those of you that would. 🙂

  7. Jeff Hebert says:

    For the sake of provoking discussion, sure, it’s the old-fashioned S&M “Obey Me” version.

  8. Jeff Hebert says:

    Joshua, I actually had that on the list, and then deleted it because that would instantly make you a colossal super-hero without peer in the actual world, which I thought made it too easy.

  9. Rick says:

    I chose Iron Man’s armor. Yes, there is the problem of the energy BUT with some modifications I would find a way to use electrical power. I’m talking about draining electrical power from sources to power the suit. Yes, that would almost make me a villain but it would only be temporary. I hope…

    In second comes the Legion flight ring. But I have one question. It comes with outer space flight or just the earthly flight?

  10. Jeff Hebert says:

    My Legion lore is a bit rusty, but I want to say they could fly in outer space too. I don’t know if it provided life support, though. If not you’d be the universe’s most buoyant corpse!

  11. Jester says:

    I’d take Wonder Woman’s “obey me” lasso. Then, I’d go around to all the other superheroes and make them give me their goodies. 😀 I’d be the Night-Wonder SilverironBat Who Weilds Excalibur And Can Fly!

  12. DJ says:


    I wouldn’t use it for offensive purposes. It would be more for my own enjoyment and the occasional disaster rescues. If I get knocked off of the board for whatever reason then so be it. What if Iron Mans suit loses power mid flight? There is no saving that.

  13. kryptkal says:

    @ Joshua: The Oan Green Lantern ring wouldn’t work for everyone anyway. It requires a person with trmendous willpower to work it, they need a strong and focused imagination to form constructs and hold them together (especially during a fight), and if this is pre-rebirth they need a person who is laregly without fear. Not to mention the fact that a proper Green Lantern is chosen by his ring and not the other way around.

    My knee-jerk reaction was to go with the Iron Man armor but it also depends on the version. His older models would be pretty crappy by today’s standars. Also, if we’re talking about the Ultimate Iron Man, power is a big problem because it is fuled by some high-tech bio fuel cells or something. Without a load of money and ingenuity I’d be in trouble. The movie one would be fine though with the mini-arc power cell, or even the mainstream comics that get power from solar energy a lot. The flight ring would be neat but I would rather be able to fly naturally in that situation. The Surfer’s board would be acceptable though because I’m not giving the “illusion” that I can fly under my own power.

    All things considered…movie Iron Man’s armor. I wouldn’t pass up the chance to fly that thing not matter what. Plus like Jeff said, you become and instant hero. I’d be up for learning how to control it.

  14. Rick says:

    There is another “Rick” out there now? Ok, I will come up with a new name.

    I went with the flight ring. Iron Man’s armor would be number #1 but like someone said above, trapped inside is a negative. The legion ring just taps into that wonder of flying I had as a kid.

  15. The Imp says:

    I’m a humble man. Flight ring for me. One of my oldest and favorite dreams/fantasies is to be able to fly. No surfboard for me, and no Iron Man armor (too much can go wrong too quickly…).

  16. William A. Peterson says:

    To answer your question, Jeff, it plugs into any standard Wall Outlet! {However silly that might seem…}
    So, until you put an Oan Power Ring (and Power Battery) on the List, I’ll go with Shellhead’s armor!
    Especially since, at only 0.00025 angstroms thick, it’s easy to fold and stick in your pocket! :->

  17. Jose says:

    so with the silver surfer surfboard will you get to fly in space ?

  18. Jeff Hebert says:

    Jose, I think so, yes. My impression is that the board essentially gives you an extreme environment protection suit, generating O2 and artificial gravity to keep you on it. It’s not like a force field protecting you from, say, a bullet, but it will make sure you don’t get explosively decompressed in a vacuum, or burned to a cinder in the middle of a volcano.

    In other words, it protects you from the environment, but not from all harm.

  19. Steve says:

    @Jeff…you are on the right track with the surfboard…because he has carried others on his board with him, and whilst in space, they did not die a horrible and painful death….ALSO, the Legion flight ring WAS capable of space flight and a sustained life system, I believe…I doubt anything that was designed and created by braniac 5 would have such a monumental flaw…ALSO the legion flight ring is what Booster Gold uses to fly…and he does quite well with it….

    I choose surfboard…find someone with a legion ring…and cut them in half with my board..then take the ring…simple plan…easily executed…!

  20. Cavalier says:

    I’ll that the board. It may be a bit dorky to need a board to fly, I will trade that for the ability to take passengers along.

  21. jose says:

    well i would have to go with the board i mean to explore outher space come on thats so cool i hope i have enuff food for the trip.

  22. Xstacy says:

    I would go with the Legion ring. Because when I play Saints Row 2, the coolest thing ever is jumping off a building or out of a helicopter without bothering to open the parachute, and at the end just getting up and dusting myself off–which I could simulate with said ring. 🙂

  23. Bael says:

    Me want Flight Ring. Iron Man armor would be cool, but I can’t stand a neck tie. Full armor? I think not. Besides, that thing is only the third prototype. Tony Stark may be able to debug on the fly (literally), but I think the learning curve may be too steep for me.
    Id also like a personal teleporter like Deadpool has.

  24. Joshua says:

    @Kryptkal: I do recall the panel in GL: Rebirth where Ollie Queen had to strain to bring forth a simple arrow construct, then remarked how it looked easy but was actually difficult to implement. So, yes, I imagine it would take sometime (…like most of the items on this list) to effectively use, not to mention ‘master’. And trust me given that time, not only would the ring be used to uphold justice and for humanitarian purposes, but I think I could focus it long enough a new, emerald shaded PS3 :). However, to address the issue of the ring choosing its new wielder, well it must be predicated that if it were a selection on the list then you would be “its” choice. I mean, not anyone can just take Norrin Radd’s board unless he allowed for it, or at least that’s assumed.

  25. HalLoweEn JacK says:

    Surfboard all the way.

    I just want to rock up at a situation, hold my board and say “What’s happening, Dudes?”